"It's the final countdown..."
A LOT ON MY MIND....HERE IT COMES...
As i sit here staring at things that are waiting to be packed and loaded into my car, i am sitting here wondering "Is Cedar Point really the best thing for me? Is this what I really want? Will this make me happiest? What will happen? What should i expect? What will i come out with at the end?" To be honest, I am kinda scared about this summer. I'm afraid it won't live up to the previous two summers. 2003 and 2004 summers have been the best times in my whole life. I have never been happier and felt more "alive." Cedar Point has definately changed me. Some good changes, and some bad changes. Part of myself likes who i have become, but then another side of me doesn't like who i have become. I agree with my parents and family. I have changed a lot since starting at Cedar Point in 2003. They think i have changed for the worse, but i don't think that at all. I like most of the ways i have changed. My whole life i have always been an extremely shy kid and never had any friends. Maybe 1 or 2 here and there, but that's it. Never had anyone I could call a real "true" friend. I would sit there in school day dreaming and not really paying attention to anyone or anything. I was a loner. I was "happy" that way. I got picked on, but i shrugged it off. The way I looked at things was that when would i ever see them again after i graduated High School? Once Cedar Point came, I saw it as a "fresh" start. No one knew me, no one had anything on me. But with that, I was still really shy. It took me a long time to come out of my shell. I would only talk to the people on WildCat and the guys i lived with. I was really shy. I still get like that. In 2004, I knew a lot of people and i was starting to become less shy than i was. I was more outgoing and more open. I learned a lot in my first summer. I made some of my best friends ever in 2003 and 2004.
This offseason was MUCH better than the last ones. I have hung out and kept in contact with a lot more people. I have gotten to know people a lot better. I have met new people already. As much as I want things to work this summer, I know they won't. Just the way my luck works.
I feel like at times, people don't really like me. They just use me for what they need and throw me out like yesterdays paper. I am a nice guy. I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. At times, I know when people are taking advantage of me but i dont say anything. I can be too nice of a guy at times and people take advantage of that a lot. Oh well. I am too open and kind to others. I am not as dumb as you think. I know what youre doing before it happens.
I went to Church today. I felt so much better. I feel so relieved. A lot of things that have been on my mind are now gone. I don't care to think of them anymore. A lot of stress has been released.
With a new summer, comes new people and new experiences. Who knows what this summer will hold. Who knows if i will love it or hate it. Only time will tell.
When I leave for Cedar Point tomorrow (or tonight) I begin to wonder...
...Will anyone miss me when i am gone?
...probably not...
maXair Crew 2005 - I can't wait to get there
maybe 1 more update before i leave...maybe not...
If YOU want to get ahold of ME, YOU can call ME...440-452-5622...
As i sit here staring at things that are waiting to be packed and loaded into my car, i am sitting here wondering "Is Cedar Point really the best thing for me? Is this what I really want? Will this make me happiest? What will happen? What should i expect? What will i come out with at the end?" To be honest, I am kinda scared about this summer. I'm afraid it won't live up to the previous two summers. 2003 and 2004 summers have been the best times in my whole life. I have never been happier and felt more "alive." Cedar Point has definately changed me. Some good changes, and some bad changes. Part of myself likes who i have become, but then another side of me doesn't like who i have become. I agree with my parents and family. I have changed a lot since starting at Cedar Point in 2003. They think i have changed for the worse, but i don't think that at all. I like most of the ways i have changed. My whole life i have always been an extremely shy kid and never had any friends. Maybe 1 or 2 here and there, but that's it. Never had anyone I could call a real "true" friend. I would sit there in school day dreaming and not really paying attention to anyone or anything. I was a loner. I was "happy" that way. I got picked on, but i shrugged it off. The way I looked at things was that when would i ever see them again after i graduated High School? Once Cedar Point came, I saw it as a "fresh" start. No one knew me, no one had anything on me. But with that, I was still really shy. It took me a long time to come out of my shell. I would only talk to the people on WildCat and the guys i lived with. I was really shy. I still get like that. In 2004, I knew a lot of people and i was starting to become less shy than i was. I was more outgoing and more open. I learned a lot in my first summer. I made some of my best friends ever in 2003 and 2004.
This offseason was MUCH better than the last ones. I have hung out and kept in contact with a lot more people. I have gotten to know people a lot better. I have met new people already. As much as I want things to work this summer, I know they won't. Just the way my luck works.
I feel like at times, people don't really like me. They just use me for what they need and throw me out like yesterdays paper. I am a nice guy. I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. At times, I know when people are taking advantage of me but i dont say anything. I can be too nice of a guy at times and people take advantage of that a lot. Oh well. I am too open and kind to others. I am not as dumb as you think. I know what youre doing before it happens.
I went to Church today. I felt so much better. I feel so relieved. A lot of things that have been on my mind are now gone. I don't care to think of them anymore. A lot of stress has been released.
With a new summer, comes new people and new experiences. Who knows what this summer will hold. Who knows if i will love it or hate it. Only time will tell.
When I leave for Cedar Point tomorrow (or tonight) I begin to wonder...
...Will anyone miss me when i am gone?
...probably not...
maXair Crew 2005 - I can't wait to get there
maybe 1 more update before i leave...maybe not...
If YOU want to get ahold of ME, YOU can call ME...440-452-5622...