FIC: Pushed too far (Jayne/Simon)
Title: Pushed too far
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: NC-17
Summary: He wants to break Simon, make him come back down from wherever he hid and feel something, lose the control he has.
Pairing: Jayne/Simon, implications of one sided Mal/Simon
Warnings: For the kink/cliché challenge, using the prompt ‘rough sex’. Graphic sex, dub con.
Thank you lvs2read for the great beta and the title finding! *hugs*
Been waiting ages to post this and now i finally can *bounces*
Doc’s all messed up at the moment, hurtin’ even if he ain’t sayin’ a word. Can see he's holdin’ it all in, clothes are too pristine--more so than ever. The infirmary smells like a gorramn hospital an’ is near on as shiny. Only thing he’s got that makes the place look half lived in now is all the crap he’s pilin’ up, everythin' he’s looking over an' staring at. Nowadays you never catch him in anything but a mood, always on the cortex or reading some weird lookin’ stuff.
Jayne snorts, folding his arms over his chest as Simon sails past him once more, grabbing a cup of liquid caffeine rather than sitting down for the meal they should all be eating together. Doc might be acting breezy, babbling something or other about new theories and techniques, but he’s not fooling any of them. The Captain’s looking as unhappy and annoyed as Jayne’s feeling. Only differences is, Jayne could be scowling in displeasure at anything for all they know, and Simon’s less likely to take notice of him anyhow.
Her fault he's all messed up, Shiong-muh-duh-duang-ren .
He's not surprised Simon doesn't want to be sitting down with them, playing at being one big, happy crew when they all know they're not that. Barely crew anymore, even with a full complement, even Inara staying onboard instead of heading off to the training house. Not that the doc's been crew long, least not to Jayne's way of thinking, not ‘til after they pulled the Lassiter job. Simon's kind of promise, offer to restart, could have gone either way in Jayne's mind; Doc could have come across all pompous and condescending, trying to shame Jayne into a truce, instead he just spoke his piece and left Jayne to think on and choose his. It was that that had pushed Jayne to grudgingly give the man his due, torn between surprise, respect at the threat Simon had managed without doing anything, and thinking if Simon had more smarts he would have done away with Jayne there and then.
Jayne wouldn't have thought twice, wouldn't have even bothered making it look like an accident, if someone tried sticking a knife in his back. And everyone did eventually try, one way or another, just this time Jayne got there first and then wished to tian he hadn't. Seeing that place, hearing Simon say what they'd done, scared him even if he wasn't about to admit it. Simon was a Core boy, his family rich with more coin than sense, but still they'd cut up on River. Made her nearer insane than lucid, turned their world upside down and no one had noticed, no one had cared. They'd only seen what they‘d wanted to, ‘fugees on the run, wanted criminals for no true reason. If they were cutting on Core folk to experiment on, wasn't long before they’d start messing with anyone; weakness as it was, Jayne had family out on the Rim. He weren't so sure about on Serenity, even with Mal spouting on with all them honorable attempts to keep them as crew and Kaylee pressing them all into a happy façade.
Ain't no point pretending; would rather her crazy than this, him prissy than quiet. Makin' him tense, perfect medic, perfect doctor, all for her. Gorramn churen not gonna last long like this.
He can see how tense Simon is--shoulders stiff, body rigid even as he pours the coffee out. His hand's not shaking from what Jayne can see, but there's a weariness in his face, a pain that briefly flares when the doc looks at his calm sister and then the mask goes up. Cool, professional and prissy; faking complete control to everyone, playing at denial and hiding.
Jayne's lips tighten, the remainder of his food forgotten as he watches Simon, unaware of the narrowed eyes on him as he stabs at his plate.
Crew needs shaking up, needs being made to face the problem, not pretend nothing's wrong. He's not sure why they're playing along to Simon's fantasy, but he's not about to. He didn't talk to River before, he's not about to start now. Not treating her like some fancy material, all fine and delicate, that'll break the moment you chip at it. Got an interesting scar on his chest to prove she's not that. Right mind or not, blaming her or not, there's something inside her that sets him on edge--rubs him the wrong way and makes him wary enough to lock his bunk at night. He wouldn't be surprised if they all did, 'cept perhaps Kaylee, too trusting by far and acting oblivious. Hiding behind a gorramn stupid hope that one day they'll all just wake up and things'll be back to normal. Crazy will be back to being her old, freaky self and Simon'll be back to stammering and messing his words around her.
"You best grab yourself some food, Doc, wouldn't want you passin' out now." Mal's words are flippant, seeming carelessly tossed out as he goes back to his conversation with Inara, but Jayne can see Mal watching Simon out of the corner of his eyes, see the whiteness of the man's knuckles as he grips his cutlery. Jayne's noticed that the Captain's eyes tend to follow Simon wherever he goes, his hands only relaxing when Simon nods absently and gathers some bread and cheese on a plate.
Simon sets down the small pad he's holding, his eyes never once leaving it, almost like he's afraid to look away, unwilling to look up and face reality. It's only when Wash invites him to sit down, his voice almost chastising, that Simon looks up, looks across the table and pales. Jayne's never seen the blood rush so quick from a man's face, and he’s seen a lot of fear and panic in his lifetime, never seen pain flash so intensely across someone’s face either, chasing away any vestige of hope that may have been there.
Jayne's eyes flick to River, sitting so quietly, pushing the food around on her plate as Kaylee chats animatedly to her. The girl makes all the right noises, but only once looks up; a quick glance catching Jayne's eyes, not her brother's, not seeing the barest of hopes there fade; instead peering into Jayne's eyes as if trying to look into his soul, as if puzzled by something. Frustration's no stranger to Jayne, the merc having felt it for a multitude of reasons, on many different occasions, but this time it's different. Swiftly followed by anger that he knows he's no right to feel, he knows he shouldn't be feeling. He sneers at River and she blanches, hurriedly looking down and scooting closer to Kaylee as she does. The mechanic doesn't notice, which is a blessing, since Jayne's not in the mood to listen to that lecture again.
Slowly ambling to his feet, eyes flicking to the rigid doctor as he moves to push his plates into the sink, Jayne purposefully jostles Simon, ramming his shoulder against the doctor’s and not even bothering to disguise the movement. Jayne's not so sure he'll get a reaction now but it’s worth a try, he's wanting to know just how far gone the doc is. Just how deeply Simon's embedded himself in everything, rather than facing the truth. Not even a curse leaves Simon's lips though, not a mutter of annoyance or pain, exactly the non-reaction Jayne expected, but still it makes his annoyance soar. Simon's pad falls to the floor and he bends to pick it up, fingertips touching the floor to keep himself steady as he squats, Jayne unable to tear his eyes away from the tempting picture he paints. All bent over, just begging for attention, and the childish part of Jayne's half-tempted to knock him onto his fine backside. To try anything to draw a reaction.
Jayne catches Mal’s eyes, finally pulling them from Simon as he feels the heat from the Captain's stare. Mal looks like he's about to say something, and Jayne's lips twist in a smirk, readying something cutting and deriding about Simon that will get them all riled up. Everyone's still talking around them, making Jayne wonder if they even notice the doc's on the floor, but Mal's not talking. Not doing much but stare steadily at Jayne, searching for something he must find that Jayne just can't name because Mal's nodding now, to what Jayne doesn't know or care. It's almost like the Captain's giving his approval, but Jayne knows he's not that obvious, hidden his attraction for Simon under animosity, and he doubts Mal approves of the methods he's using to push Simon.
Man runs hot and cold when it comes to the doc. Tries too much to be hard when he's makin’ him feel soft, pushes him away and chases what he ain't got a chance in hell of gettin'. Safer option, my pigu , Nara'll mess him up bein' just as complicated. Play's hard to get because he ain't safe to her at all, plays with her heart instead of letting her go free.
Jayne's seen the way Mal looks at Simon, just a word from the doc can bring a hunger to Mal's eyes that the captain covers with sarcasm and smiles. Jayne can see right through it though, seen Mal step back quickly a few too many times as Simon moves too close, especially when they argue, those tight pants a dead giveaway as to what he's wanting. Seen him watch Simon, when Simon's not knowing he's there, a wistful expression on his face that's there for a too short moment before he storms off and takes his frustrations out on the 'verse. Seen Simon crushing on the captain, too. Mal always striking a nerve where others couldn't.
Kinda games they play could make a man frustrated and close to acting on, 'cept Mal still holds tight to the notion he shouldn't bed his crew. Stupid hun-dan.
Jayne's got no qualms about who he beds, save Kaylee of course, he'd not go near her. Mal would string him up by his balls then toss him out the airlock with them still attached inside. He can't say he's never thought on the idea, but he's partial to keeping his bits and staying aboard. Simon's different though. If Mal had given no signs on how he felt about the doctor, Jayne would have had him spread up against the wall by now, groaning and pleading as Jayne pounded into him. Wanting Jayne. Simon's not shown much interest, but Jayne's not stupid, no matter how the doc used to infer. He's felt Simon struggle against him, sensed the excitement before he's felt it against his thigh. Known their bantering, their fights, were nothing more than foreplay. They always left Jayne with a raging erection and spending some quality time in his bunk, anyhow. He couldn't speak for Simon, though he'd noticed the doctor hiding in the shadows--watching him work out many a time.
Man's not so much shy as at least half sly; seein’ me all hot and sweaty gets him rushing for his bunk faster'n any of Kaylee's flirting does.
It's just as well Jayne's not waiting for a reaction anymore, since Simon merely picks up his pad and leaves without saying a word, plate of food forgotten and left. Tzao-gao. Was a time the man would rise to the occasion, snarking back in a fashion Jayne found appealing. With eyes flashing like fire, full lips pressed tightly together, his body tense and begging to be unwound.
Inhaling deeply, Jayne pushes the image from his mind, if it stays there too long he's the one who'll be wearing too-tight pants. Looking back towards the table, lips pursing at the half-filled abandoned plate, Jayne catches River’s gaze. Sees pain and confusion in the girl's eyes. He's not sure what's going on in her chopped-up mind, but he's had reason before and still suspects the girl can sense her brother's feeling--the emotional struggle that he hides behind a neutral expression. Jayne's not wanting to muse too much on how she does, just knows she does. Can't shake the thought that it's not her fault either, can all be laid to rest at the rutting Alliance's feet.
Can't help not remembering, ain't sure I’d want to in her place, just more bad luck on the pair of 'em. More go-se for Doc to deal with.
Wasn't hard to see what made her first forget. Getting Mal away from Niska, Jayne still isn't sure just what she'd been doing with Kaylee in the cargo bay, but they'd come back to find the other girl crouched over River, seemingly forgetting the four dead men outside the bay. The doc’s sister sporting a bullet wound in her shoulder and bruises on the back of her head. Kaylee didn't speak much on it, save to Mal, despite her claiming they all had no secrets between them. Just looked real pale and kept crying as she tried to wake River up. Should have been an easy op too, by Jayne's reckoning, something Simon had voiced since he'd let Zoe patch her up as he worked on Mal. Only fate wasn't about to give either of them a break, River's mind too fragile and wrecked to stand up to her falling, hitting her head so hard.
Brain bleed, Simon had called it. Something simple for a trauma surgeon too, least one surrounded by everything he needs. Jayne's still not sure if rushing any faster would have changed things, if it took too long to steal what Simon needed, to sneak into the clinic on Persephone. Cascade brain failure, synapses misfiring…collapsing, Jayne's not sure why he remembers that when it took him so long, so much repetition, to remember other things--ones that had the reward of coin at the end. Maybe it was the way Simon’s voice had shook ever so slightly when he’d begged Mal to help him find what they needed, desperation and fear twisting it into a tone Jayne didn’t want to be hearing again. Was a time Mal would have been offended at that, at being seen to not do everything for his crew and Simon would have known better. Crazy or not, she was crew, and so was Simon.
We applied the cortical electrodes…he shakes off the difficult thought, still can't quite remember that one even now, reminds him of River all cold and stiff laid out like she was on Simon‘s table as he worked over her. Not lying next to her, all stiff and blue-lipped, making Jayne‘s gut clench when it finally hit him, far too late, just what Simon wouldn‘t do for River.
Jayne’s not aware he's walking, not excused himself from the table, just wandered off. Unconsciously searching and seeking, though he knows where what he wants is.
He didn't stop working, hands all bloodied where he cut into her, messing where they did and tryin' to put right what couldn't be done.
They'd seen a darker side of Simon that day, passionate in saving his sister but coldly furious when Book suggested something that had even Jayne wanting to reach for Vera. First time he'd thought the Shepherd stupid, first time he's considered dragging the man forcibly away.
"They made her this way, they’d know more, perhaps even save her. At least she’d be alive, son."
Rutting Alliance, as if they’d have helped. Would have just carted River away, made her brain bleed some more and then discarded her when she still didn’t work right. Not so perfect anymore. That was the only time he'd seen Simon shake off Book's touch, the first time the man's ever come close to threatening--speaking in a calm manner, no fury on his face, yet dangerous nonetheless. Should have been the second time really, if Jayne had been enough of a hun-dan to see a threat where chance for truce lay.
“That’s not an option.” Simon hadn’t needed to say more, even as Book had kept up pushing, finally snapping, though Jayne had been the one to see it. Keeping up the coolness, the aloof doctor façade he wore so well. The one Jayne saw straight through. Saw the danger lurking there in the brother refusing to give up. Not so much the doctor part of Simon working 'til he damn near passed out, only collapsing when exhaustion took him and the damage was halted.
Everything he’d done, given up. All that coin an’ life an’ sanity gone when she opened her gorramn eyes and stared at him so blankly.
Jayne reckons it near on tore Simon’s heart out when she pulled back from him, babbling in that crazy disjointed way, not knowing who he was and not believing none of them when they tried to tell her. Ain’t ever seen a man die whilst he’s still standing, heart still beating and hands reaching. She pushed him away, clung to Kaylee and didn’t know no Simon, or no River or nothing. Thought Mal was gonna have to put a bullet in her, way she carried on.
That had been nine weeks ago, and they were still no closer to getting back the River that Simon remembered. The girl in her place, a shadow despite her frequent profane outbursts, hiding behind and clinging to Kaylee, stubbornly refusing to let Simon near her. Made Jayne wonder if a part of her remembered what had happened to her, what Simon had done to try and treat her, and just didn’t want to hurt that way anymore. Whatever which way, she was calmer but still as rutting crazy.
Doc’s acting too controlled, wound so tightly he could burst and take them all with him. Playing the role he’d stuck to so rigidly at first, trying to pretend the ‘verse hadn’t just screwed him over. Jayne knew when a man got wound that tightly, he needed releasing. He’s not seen Simon cry, not that he thinks the man would show that weakness around him anyway, not around anyone. ’Sides crying means givin’ up, not winning. He hasn’t got mad, got snappy or sarcastic with anyone since the day River woke, no matter how much Jayne’s been baiting him, been pushing at him to get a reaction--any reaction.
And he’s not the only one. Jayne’s seen Mal trying too. Gotta be about the only time I seen Mal wantin’ a clock to the face, but Simon, he weren’t biting.
Jayne’s standing near the infirmary now, half hidden from view and watching as Simon shakes off the last few water droplets from his shower. His pajama bottoms cling to his body in an enticing manner, damp patches where he hasn’t dried off yet before pulling them on; it has Jayne acutely aware of his own arousal, the tightness of his pants as Simon slowly moves past.
Simon pauses at River’s door, fingers lightly touching the surface, as he listens intently. Jayne can almost see him hoping, but the expression on his face tells the merc that Simon’s not about to speak. Not about to break whatever moment of musing he’s stopped in. And truth be told, Jayne’s not all that interested in what Simon’s thinking on, his eyes are too busy devouring the younger man’s body. Wondering where the doc managed to get all those muscles from, and why he’s never had cause to see them up close before.
Then Simon moves quickly into his own room, not noticing the man watching him, and pulling the door firmly shut behind him. Only a slight clunk betraying his true feelings and emotion, as close to a slam as the door is going to get.
“More’n one way to get him back, to get him all pissy and petulant again.” Jayne murmurs the words to himself as he pats his pocket, wondering if craziness is catching, because he doesn’t usually talk to himself or think so much, especially after Simon. Fingers dip inside the smooth seam for what he needs, the small object he feels making him relax.
He isn’t sure how to play this, how’s the best way to start, but his feet are taking the choice of thinking on it away from him. He’s already at Simon’s door, knuckles rapping against it.
It takes a long moment before Simon answers, sliding the door back with less force than he closed it. The doc looks confused for a moment, looks like he's having a hard time placing Jayne, and the merc is tempted to introduce himself, but the sarcasm would be wasted given Simon’s mood. Jayne folds his arms over his chest, scowl on his face as he stares at the barely-clothed man trying to avoid his eyes, gaze lingering over Simon’s bare flesh.
“What do you want, Jayne?“ Simon’s tone is flat as he shakes his head, but Jayne is already striding inside, not expecting or awaiting an invite, jostling Simon out of the way as he does. He shouldn’t feel nervous and yet he does, reaching behind Simon to pull the door closed with a resolute snick.
Simon should be the one all nervous and flustered. Face all flushed and annoyed in the manner that manages to grab every part of Jayne’s attention. The doctor should be wearing a look of trepidation, or be getting annoyed with Jayne barging in, or something…anything. Instead he’s just staring at Jayne, disinterested despite the potential danger he could be facing.
Thought that would at least get him edgy. Weren’t expecting him to be riled, but he’s acting like I’m Wash or Book, ain’t like him not to be wary at least.
Jayne looks him up and down, keeping his face deliberately expressionless, waiting for a reaction, eyes boring into Simon’s, daring him to say something. Wanting him to. He's not too fond of patience though.
“Tzao-gao“. The words are exasperated and break through the silence, Jayne deciding to push for his desired reaction, to force Simon to start seeing him, to start living in the ‘verse like they all had to. There is the potential for things to go very wrong, but Jayne isn’t going to think too much on it; instead he lets his body do the talking and asking, his mind stepping back so he can use every other sense to appreciate what he’s about to do.
Fingers curling under the hem, Jayne grasps his t-shirt and pulls it over his head.
“What in di-yu are you doing, Jayne!” Simon jumps, jerking slightly as if Jayne’s pinched him, but Jayne’s only too aware where Simon’s eyes are looking. Fixed on his chest, watching as Jayne tenses and flexes his muscles. Jayne can't help smirking as Simon’s eyes snap up to meet his own, red color staining his cheeks before he looks away.
“You should leave. I have lots of work to do.” Simon tears his eyes away, fixing them firmly on the discarded pad by his bed, skirting the issue neatly, pretending once more.
Jayne merely bends and unlaces his boots, taking his time to let Simon babble. Let the doc’s words rush over themselves, never one to hold his tongue much as the grief it gets him sometimes. Oddly reassuring in a way. As he kicks his boots off, the babble dies down and he can see he’s got Simon’s attention once more. Managed to capture it better. It gives him a feeling of satisfaction, one which only widens his smirk.
“I don’t have time for this.“ Simon shakes his head, rejecting Jayne as easily as he did reality, making the merc’s eyes narrow as anger flushes through him. There weren’t many people who ignored him in this state, most would already be dropping to their knees, but Simon’s ignoring him, dismissing him.
Simon moves to slide open the door, but Jayne is faster, already there, pinning him against the wall, his face by Simon's ear pulling his hand up behind his back and holding him rigid. Simon’s struggling, not too much because it’s got to be pulling on his arm and Jayne’s holding him firm enough to stop him--not wanting the man damaged by their tussle.
“Not very courteous, Doc.” Jayne purrs the words out, his tongue darting out to lick at Simon’s neck. Tasting the sweat that’s heating his skin to such a fine shade of pink, or perhaps the last few droplets of water from his shower turned salty by his own skin.
“No, Jayne.”
He kisses up Simon’s neck, tongue flicking behind his ear a moment before he bites down gently on the lobe. He can hear Simon saying no, but doesn't stop as he pushes Simon almost flat against the wall. Nipping down the side of Simon‘s neck, leaving small reddish marks in his wake. Simon’s groaning now, almost muffled and Jayne can see his lips press together tightly even as he grinds against the wall and then tenses, like the doc's having to remind himself he shouldn't be enjoying this.
Licking down, Jayne follows a small bead of sweat down Simon‘s spine, his grip loosening slightly on Simon‘s arm, just enough so the doc can move but not enough to get away. He‘s using his body weight against Simon now, pushing his hand between Simon‘s legs to cup his balls through his clothes. He can just about feel Simon‘s hard shaft, pressed so close to the wall that Jayne‘s sure it‘s uncomfortable. He‘s just not so sure he cares, he‘s more focused on rubbing his thumb against the crinkled sac, pressing up gently and feeling a pulse right through to his thumb as Simon inhales sharply. Simon's squirming more now, body trembling lightly as Jayne lets go of his balls and twists his hand, nudging it firmly against Simon's inner thighs. He knows he could have just kicked them apart earlier, but he's not wanting to force himself on the man, preferring the feel of Simon trembling as he spreads his legs that little bit more apart, almost eagerly as Jayne cups his balls once more like he's rewarding him for it.
Kinda pretty to see the doc getting shook up like this, been too long since Jayne's managed to do anything to get him close to reacting and now the man's all flushed and splayed against the wall. Not surprisingly, Jayne's having a hard time keeping himself from spinning him back around and tumbling them both to the bed, still he's not sure the doc wouldn't start fighting back properly then. Besides Simon's uncertain responses are making Jayne all the harder, making him briefly palm his erection through his pants, feeling arousal sweep through him as he grips Simon's hip. The doc's not saying anything but he's still trying to push back, a struggle which becomes all the more active as Jayne's fingers ease into his pajama bottoms.
"Ruttin' stay still would ya?"
It seems like Simon's about to do as he says, stunned into motionless for a few seconds by the audacity or ridiculousness of Jayne's question, but as Jayne one-handedly starts to ease down his pants, he's spurred back into motion. Hands pushing at the wall, Simon's trying to twist himself around, his fists already clenching like he knows he's going to try beating Jayne back. Something Jayne knows would never happen. He could have just knocked Simon out and trussed him up if that was his intention. Instead he's no longer moving to squat, half-crawling up Simon's back instead, avoiding the doc's hands as he viciously tries to swipe and claw at him, realizing pushing away is futile. Jayne's got the strength, motive and the better position.
"Don't." The word trembles in time with Simon's body, the man close to panic and Jayne isn't sure if he's annoyed or approves of Simon's pessimism. Doc obviously thinks so shallowly of him that he believes Jayne'll take him with nothing, just force himself in and screw him from behind, take his pleasure and leave Simon in pain and unsatisfied.
"Ain't gonna be doing that any time soon, Simon."
He uses Simon's name purposefully, knowing he's not had much call to use it in the past. Simon's not answering him, but he's not still swiping at him either. Still trying to twist, trying to catch Jayne's eyes, and Jayne's half-tempted to spin him around for a moment and catch him in a quick punishing kiss. He can just imagine how Simon's looking, all angry and white-faced, clenching his teeth together as his blue eyes spit sparks. Tempting image, but Jayne's already got Simon's pants pooling about his feet, still pressed up against Simon and unable to appreciate the view, but more than able to feel it against him. Feel his cock, still bound by his pants pressing against Simon's buttocks, snugly resting between his cheeks before Jayne slowly slides down Simon's body, kneeling behind the man.
He wants to break Simon, make him come back down from wherever he hid and feel something, lose the control he has.
And this is something he can certainly enjoy. Hands on Simon's back, on level with buttocks which shake ever so slightly as Jayne nips at one. The cursed insult, so unexpected from Simon, makes him laugh, mouth still pressed against the reddened mark which he flicks his tongue over. Simon's all pink and sweat-shined, clenching his buttocks as Jayne cautiously trails one hand down his back, not so sure the man's not going to try getting away again. Simon's almost hairless from behind, only the barest smattering of silky soft hairs covering his back, almost as smooth as his chest and just as muscular. Fingers stroking over Simon's spine, making him stiffen and whisper another insult, this time aimed at Jayne's father, which doesn't bother Jayne none. His hand’s already kneading one of Simon's buttocks, making the doctor squirm as the skin pinks up, and just as Jayne's sure Simon's about to start fighting back again, he leans forward, pressing his face between Simon's cheeks, and dashes his tongue over the small pucker between them.
"Jayne."
The word is more strangled now, to Jayne's satisfaction, only the tongue poking out of his mouth stopping the merc from grinning as he inhales deeply, smelling...apples? He frowns, tongue dashing once more over Simon's hole inhaling the barely musky scent disguised by apples. He's not surprised, Doc’s so clean and prissy all the time, but the scent does take him aback for a moment, sending amusement through him as he wonders if Simon's cock tastes like strawberries.
Tongue swirling around the small hole, feeling it quiver ever so slightly as Simon does a poor job of muffling his gasp, Jayne's palming his own hardness again, rubbing it as his tongue lazily flicks over Simon. Teasing the man into a frenzy, getting him writhing against the wall as he takes his time tasting and licking at Simon. He can't see the other man gripping at the wall, biting back the noises he doesn't want to be making, but he can feel Simon's body vibrating, surprising Jayne by being so responsive and so damn quiet at the same time. The dead giveaway being Simon's toes curling, his body tensing ever so slightly as Jayne stabs at the pucker with his tongue.
Jayne's no longer needing to use his hands to hold Simon back the doctor's pushing back against him for another reason now, body relaxing ever so slightly and letting Jayne's tongue slip inside as he teases him, then clenching, making Jayne work all the harder as Simon takes control of his body's reactions. He wants to be looking at Simon now, watching the confusion and pleasure flush through him as conflicting emotions and desires rush through him.
Maybe next time.
One hand snakes around to feel that Simon's hard and wanting, to stroke at his cock as Simon pushes away from the wall and against him, wanting Jayne's tongue, wanting what the merc's doing to him, even if he hates it. Jayne uses his free hand to unbuckle his pants, shrugging them down, glad not to worry about boxers as his cock springs free. Pants pushed around his knees, he fishes in his pocket, never once stopping the tongue and hand teasing that's got Simon squirming against the wall. His hand eases the foil from his pocket; it’s not like he doesn't know Simon's clean and the doc's always sure to check him over after planet leave, but Jayne's got no slick, so the lube on it has to do. He's not gonna ask and search Simon's room for it and it's not like there's any on offer.
Doc's feelin' a bit slick now anyway.
Simon's cock’s pulsing in his hand, the man not trying to hold back the noises now, and even if Jayne’s cock wasn't throbbing and him wanting in on the action, Simon's responses were a dead giveaway it was time to stop--at least for the moment. Jayne wants to laugh as Simon groans in frustration, tongue now tracing up Simon's spine, catching the salt there as he pushes himself up to standing. He has to hold Simon in place again as a cool draft brings goosebumps to the doc, along with an awareness Jayne isn't wanting there. Has to kick off his own pants and hold Simon from behind, hard cock catching the man's attention, drawing Simon to tilt his head and look downwards as it rubs against his hip.
Jayne's not sure if the shudder is a good or bad thing, but he's not worrying much on it, startling Simon as he grips his shoulders and twists the man around, catching a glimpse of the doc's flushed face and wide eyes before Jayne claims his lips in hard kiss. Simon's shuai most of the time, but looking so flustered and overcome, a look Jayne finds more arousing than he probably should, he's a very tempting treat. One Jayne's about to devour. He half expects Simon to bite down as he thrusts his tongue between the man's lips, tasting mint as his tongue dashes over Simon's, exploring every inch of his mouth as he rocks his hip against Simon. It's all about Simon, all about getting the doc normal again, but just for that one moment Jayne lets himself sink into it not being like that. Letting himself imagine that Simon's kissing him back with just as much enthusiasm, not so tentatively and uncertainly.
Would be, if I was Mal.
That thought soured the moment, Jayne tearing his mouth away from Simon's as if he's tasted something bad, unable to stop the brief fury that rushes through him. "Get." He glares at Simon, eyes flicking to the bed for a moment as Simon draws back, bewilderment clouding his features, the hardness against Jayne's body softening somewhat. Jayne's looking every inch like he's about to do something that reviles him, but as Simon moves to speak, parting swollen lips that capture Jayne's attention, Jayne's already pressing his own to them. Chasing away the unwanted thought, claiming Simon for a moment and nipping savagely on his lower lip just to draw a yelp from the doctor and mark him up a little. He nudges Simon towards the bed, the man hesitating for a moment before moving, tripping over the pajamas around his ankles to fall splayed against the immaculate covers. The pristine, carefully arranged blanket that Jayne has every intention of mussing up--along with its owner.
Jayne wants to do more than just kiss Simon now, wants to ease the leftover resentment of Mal and satisfy the need in his own body all at once. He can see Simon's eyes drawn to the part of him that craves attention the most, the doctor's lips parting as if he's about to speak, although he doesn't say a word as Jayne climbs onto the bed and pulls himself up onto Simon's body. Knee moving to part the doctor's legs, Simon's hands are pushing firmly at his shoulders, the "no" having barely left his lips as Jayne runs his tongue over them. It's easy to ignore Simon, to nip at his lips and kiss roughly down his neck, leaving whisker burn and red marks as he does. Branding Simon and making the more firmly repeated, "No, I don't-" catch in Simon's throat as Jayne bites down his body. Teeth and tongue working down his chest and over his nipples, his hands holding down Simon's arms as he ignores what Simon's saying.
He can feel Simon shudder against him, still trying to wrestle himself from Jayne's grip as he holds him firmly, letting not one inch be free of his tongue and lips. Simon's always been pale, but it's so much better to appreciate now, with him hard and squirming in Jayne's grasp, pale skin marred by pink marks. Jayne's no old man, but he's not so young the slightest sensation gets him close to coming, and much as he's ready to just pound into Simon, he's wanting to take longer and explore every part of Simon's body. To get the man falling and succumbing to every sensation, calling out what he wants as Jayne gives it and damn near ruts him into being him again. Hips thrust forward, legs between Simon‘s, Jayne rubs against him, cock to cock as he attacks Simon's lips once more. Muffling every noise, every complaint or protest the doctor could have.
But Simon's moaning into his mouth now, body arching against Jayne's and just as he feels Simon respond to the kiss, sweeping his tongue boldly over Jayne's, the merc pulls back. Frustration makes a man horny as hell and Jayne's feeling the need for more than just rubbing, more than kissing. He wants to feel Simon's lips wrapping eagerly around his cock, wants to fuck the doc's mouth and body all at once.
For someone so large, he can be quick at times and stealthy to boot, bouncing to one side and turning himself around so fast Simon’s moan has barely faded. Jayne's cock juts close to Simon's face, resting against his cheek, but the man's not saying a word, tensing all over as Jayne grips his legs at the knees, nudging them further apart before he settles between them, propped up on his elbows, feeling the slight vibration that runs through them. Simon’s too tense, waiting and clenching, not trusting Jayne which the merc heartily approves of.
"Ain't expecting anythin' fancy, Simon, know yer too prissy to be doin' much." Jayne smirks as he says the words, letting the challenge hang for a moment as he pictures the look that was sure to be on Simon's face, leaning over to lick up Simon's cock, to taste the soursweet taste he expects rather than strawberries or apple, a finer taste that gets Jayne all the more enthusiastic to wrap his lips around Simon's cock and take the man into his mouth all at once.
"Cao!"
The curse makes Jayne chuckle, Simon's groan becoming a pleading whine as he clamps his lips shut and tries to thrust in further. Jayne revels in the knowledge that he's the one getting Simon all riled and wanton, that's he's the one thrusting his cock against Simon’s face and feeling him hesitantly take a hold of it. Simon’s almost shy as he licks over the shaft, growing bold enough to take it down his throat in a manner more eager than experienced. Jayne lets the sensations rush over him, taking a moment to enjoy them as he hums around Simon's cock, making the man moan and the blowjob he's receiving more sloppy than some. But it's all he can do to resist bucking forward and slamming himself down Simon's throat. Concentrating on Simon seems to delay the urge for the most part, so Jayne gently grates his teeth over Simon's cock, letting it fall from his lips as he feels it twitch, fingers gripping around the base to hold off Simon's release. He wants Simon wild with desire, panting in need and pleading in a nonsensical babble, but he also wants to be watching the man as he does.
He won't be lasting much longer, moment I let go reckon he'll be there.
Jayne's getting impatient now, fuelled by Simon’s desire as the man tries to buck against him and rekindle his attention. Cock thrusting further down Simon‘s throat, completely by accident, though Jayne‘s not about to complain when Simon sucks all the harder, one hand groping at his buttock, kneading it for a moment before his tongue descends once more between Simon's cheeks. Not touching Simon's cock, save at the base to stop him coming, feeling it twitch against the underside of his jaw, his tongue stabs at the small ring of muscle, no longer just intent on teasing Simon with sensation, but also getting him as ready as he can without using lube. He manages to ease one finger inside Simon, though the man seems to choke a little around his cock, but he pushes back a moment later, clenching around Jayne's finger as he eases it quickly in and out, tongue occasionally slipping in, too, as Jayne licks.
Man'll be the death of me. Mayhap in more ways than one if Mal ever gets wind of this. Or Zoe.
But he's got pleasanter things to do than think on them, got Simon writhing beneath him, sucking vigorously on Jayne's balls now.
Jayne’s spitting on his fingers now, rubbing them against Simon as he pushes himself up by his knees. Simon makes a sound of protest as Jayne's cock sweeps across his cheek, leaving a trail of pre-come on it that Jayne runs his tongue along when he turns around. It's not so unpleasant to taste himself, and from the intent look that Simon's now giving him, not so unpleasant to see either.
"Jayne-"
Jayne hushes him, nipping at his neck, making Simon gasp as he moves between his legs and slides on the condom. Feeling the slippery scant lubricant, which he rubs on Simon, pushing his fingertips slightly inside the man as he does. Lips pressed tightly over Simon’s, not once pausing, Jayne lines himself up and thrusts in, drawing a choked gasp from Simon.
And wo-de-ma is the man tight, Jayne’s pressing his lips all the harder, muffling Simon’s noises as well as his own as he feels his cock squeezed snugly, Simon’s body resisting for a moment but then he's all in. Warmth surrounding him, making his body tingle and balls clench, cock twitching inside Simon, feeling the man pulse around him. Been too long since Jayne’s felt anything like this, maybe only a couple of months, but that’s a long enough time for anyone. Been longer than that that he’s had someone who’s not after coin.
His lips are still on Simon’s, parting now to close over his in a proper kiss, his hands on Simon’s cock, relief and smugness flooding him to find that the doctor’s erection’s not wavered.
Doc’s not as straight as he makes out, more fun to push him this way.
Drawing back his hips, cock coming dangerously close to leaving Simon’s body, the merc waits for a moment, only slamming back inside as Simon wriggles against him. Hips rotating, feeling Simon shudder and clutch at him as he hits what he’s aiming for, Jayne eases one of Simon's legs over his shoulder pushing it back as he thrusts in deeper. He can’t do controlled, can’t do rutting for too long without feeling need overtake him. Thrusts become more erratic and forceful as he pounds into Simon, pushing them further and further up the bed, feeling the doc clench at him at all the right moments. Squeezing his cock as he pulls out, clutching and tightening as Jayne pushes in.
It’s rough and quick, passion drawn out as Simon cries out, his body shaking around Jayne, sending fine vibrations up the merc’s cock which get his balls aching. Simon comes without a touch, the only friction the occasional moment when Jayne’s arm grazes down, release stickily spurted onto his belly as Jayne revels in the moment. Of being inside Simon, having the man gripping at the bed sheets, his eyes screwed shut as he gasps and twitches, unable and unwilling to do more than just lie there as Jayne stares down at him, eyes glittering as he thrusts all the harder.
Heat rushing through him, ears ringing, Jayne follows a few thrusts later, aching balls clenching as his cock pulses his release. Still heady, thrusts slowed to a lazy motion, Jayne collapses against Simon, body still shuddery and unable to support himself.
For the longest moment there’s nothing but silence, but it’s not uncomfortable, not a tension Jayne can’t deal with. His gaze flicks down to Simon’s unreadable expression, so many emotions playing across his face that Jayne couldn’t place them all even if he wanted and Jayne glances away. Hips pulling back as he eases himself from Simon‘s body, ignoring Simon’s murmured groan at the slight ache. Fingers gliding over, rolling the condom off, Jayne didn’t even give it a glance as he tossed it carelessly to the floor before cupping his own cock, feeling the sensitivity there--sign of a decent rut.
Jayne shifts behind Simon, spooning against him and pressing his chin to the back of Simon's head.
Too much emotion, so much Simon’s been suppressing and not letting himself feel--not something Jayne wants to see and something he knows Simon isn’t wanting him to.
So he just holds him, listens to Simon breathe and hears the slight hitch even before he feels Simon shudder. Jayne doesn’t need to see it to know Simon’s crying, won’t bring himself to picture it neither, and is fervently glad Simon’s doing it silently. Just as relieved as he is to finally get a reaction, to know Simon's finding the release he really needs.
Ain’t no shame in it. Be a cryin’ one if he was to get himself all stiff and unfeeling’ again.
Hands moving around Simon’s waist, he lets Simon cry as long as he needs to, feels the shakes fade down to the slightest vibration and Simon’s breathing even out. Jayne knows Simon’s half asleep by now; sated and sticky and holding less in than he was before and Jayne figures it’s time to go. Last thing Simon’s gonna want come morning is Jayne up against him, likely they’d be shouting and the doctor almost back to his usual sarcastic self, and comfy as Jayne is, that would just complicate things too much. Better to leave now and let Simon pretend nothing ever happened, the one and only time he’ll actually let something go without snarking at him about it.
At least that’s what he aims to do, but as he loosens his grip on Simon, starting to slide away and out the bed, Simon’s hands grip at his arms, encouraging him back down. Jayne pauses in the act of shifting more.
“Why?“ Simon’s voice is soft and has a husky edge to it, but there’s no revulsion to it, which Jayne’s on edge looking out for and ready to be storming out over.
“You didn't say no.” Technically he had, but Jayne didn’t count it as no when the body’s saying yes, didn’t say no the whole way through, either, which would have made Jayne stop. Kissed back with some lust at times, too.
There is the longest of pauses, Simon apparently weighing up his answer and judging it, even as his hands tighten on Jayne.
“’Cause you needed it." Jayne admits with some reluctance, waiting for Simon to roll over and shove him away. To fix him with a scathing look and deny what they both know is true. He’s ready to push back just as much if the doc follows that path, let his tongue fly before he leaves, pride intact and pleased at his own prowess.
But silence fills the room, broken only by the sound of them both breathing, and yet Simon's still not letting him go, and Jayne's not as uncomfortable at the doc speaking to him as he thought. Not complicated to help someone heal, least not in some ways, something he's sure Simon knows.
Simon reaches up, flicking off the light, and Jayne’s still for a moment, uncertain, before he spoons back against Simon. The softest mutter reaches his ears and he can’t help smiling as he closes his eyes, letting sleep take him.
“Thanks , Jayne.”
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: NC-17
Summary: He wants to break Simon, make him come back down from wherever he hid and feel something, lose the control he has.
Pairing: Jayne/Simon, implications of one sided Mal/Simon
Warnings: For the kink/cliché challenge, using the prompt ‘rough sex’. Graphic sex, dub con.
Thank you lvs2read for the great beta and the title finding! *hugs*
Been waiting ages to post this and now i finally can *bounces*
Doc’s all messed up at the moment, hurtin’ even if he ain’t sayin’ a word. Can see he's holdin’ it all in, clothes are too pristine--more so than ever. The infirmary smells like a gorramn hospital an’ is near on as shiny. Only thing he’s got that makes the place look half lived in now is all the crap he’s pilin’ up, everythin' he’s looking over an' staring at. Nowadays you never catch him in anything but a mood, always on the cortex or reading some weird lookin’ stuff.
Jayne snorts, folding his arms over his chest as Simon sails past him once more, grabbing a cup of liquid caffeine rather than sitting down for the meal they should all be eating together. Doc might be acting breezy, babbling something or other about new theories and techniques, but he’s not fooling any of them. The Captain’s looking as unhappy and annoyed as Jayne’s feeling. Only differences is, Jayne could be scowling in displeasure at anything for all they know, and Simon’s less likely to take notice of him anyhow.
Her fault he's all messed up, Shiong-muh-duh-duang-ren .
He's not surprised Simon doesn't want to be sitting down with them, playing at being one big, happy crew when they all know they're not that. Barely crew anymore, even with a full complement, even Inara staying onboard instead of heading off to the training house. Not that the doc's been crew long, least not to Jayne's way of thinking, not ‘til after they pulled the Lassiter job. Simon's kind of promise, offer to restart, could have gone either way in Jayne's mind; Doc could have come across all pompous and condescending, trying to shame Jayne into a truce, instead he just spoke his piece and left Jayne to think on and choose his. It was that that had pushed Jayne to grudgingly give the man his due, torn between surprise, respect at the threat Simon had managed without doing anything, and thinking if Simon had more smarts he would have done away with Jayne there and then.
Jayne wouldn't have thought twice, wouldn't have even bothered making it look like an accident, if someone tried sticking a knife in his back. And everyone did eventually try, one way or another, just this time Jayne got there first and then wished to tian he hadn't. Seeing that place, hearing Simon say what they'd done, scared him even if he wasn't about to admit it. Simon was a Core boy, his family rich with more coin than sense, but still they'd cut up on River. Made her nearer insane than lucid, turned their world upside down and no one had noticed, no one had cared. They'd only seen what they‘d wanted to, ‘fugees on the run, wanted criminals for no true reason. If they were cutting on Core folk to experiment on, wasn't long before they’d start messing with anyone; weakness as it was, Jayne had family out on the Rim. He weren't so sure about on Serenity, even with Mal spouting on with all them honorable attempts to keep them as crew and Kaylee pressing them all into a happy façade.
Ain't no point pretending; would rather her crazy than this, him prissy than quiet. Makin' him tense, perfect medic, perfect doctor, all for her. Gorramn churen not gonna last long like this.
He can see how tense Simon is--shoulders stiff, body rigid even as he pours the coffee out. His hand's not shaking from what Jayne can see, but there's a weariness in his face, a pain that briefly flares when the doc looks at his calm sister and then the mask goes up. Cool, professional and prissy; faking complete control to everyone, playing at denial and hiding.
Jayne's lips tighten, the remainder of his food forgotten as he watches Simon, unaware of the narrowed eyes on him as he stabs at his plate.
Crew needs shaking up, needs being made to face the problem, not pretend nothing's wrong. He's not sure why they're playing along to Simon's fantasy, but he's not about to. He didn't talk to River before, he's not about to start now. Not treating her like some fancy material, all fine and delicate, that'll break the moment you chip at it. Got an interesting scar on his chest to prove she's not that. Right mind or not, blaming her or not, there's something inside her that sets him on edge--rubs him the wrong way and makes him wary enough to lock his bunk at night. He wouldn't be surprised if they all did, 'cept perhaps Kaylee, too trusting by far and acting oblivious. Hiding behind a gorramn stupid hope that one day they'll all just wake up and things'll be back to normal. Crazy will be back to being her old, freaky self and Simon'll be back to stammering and messing his words around her.
"You best grab yourself some food, Doc, wouldn't want you passin' out now." Mal's words are flippant, seeming carelessly tossed out as he goes back to his conversation with Inara, but Jayne can see Mal watching Simon out of the corner of his eyes, see the whiteness of the man's knuckles as he grips his cutlery. Jayne's noticed that the Captain's eyes tend to follow Simon wherever he goes, his hands only relaxing when Simon nods absently and gathers some bread and cheese on a plate.
Simon sets down the small pad he's holding, his eyes never once leaving it, almost like he's afraid to look away, unwilling to look up and face reality. It's only when Wash invites him to sit down, his voice almost chastising, that Simon looks up, looks across the table and pales. Jayne's never seen the blood rush so quick from a man's face, and he’s seen a lot of fear and panic in his lifetime, never seen pain flash so intensely across someone’s face either, chasing away any vestige of hope that may have been there.
Jayne's eyes flick to River, sitting so quietly, pushing the food around on her plate as Kaylee chats animatedly to her. The girl makes all the right noises, but only once looks up; a quick glance catching Jayne's eyes, not her brother's, not seeing the barest of hopes there fade; instead peering into Jayne's eyes as if trying to look into his soul, as if puzzled by something. Frustration's no stranger to Jayne, the merc having felt it for a multitude of reasons, on many different occasions, but this time it's different. Swiftly followed by anger that he knows he's no right to feel, he knows he shouldn't be feeling. He sneers at River and she blanches, hurriedly looking down and scooting closer to Kaylee as she does. The mechanic doesn't notice, which is a blessing, since Jayne's not in the mood to listen to that lecture again.
Slowly ambling to his feet, eyes flicking to the rigid doctor as he moves to push his plates into the sink, Jayne purposefully jostles Simon, ramming his shoulder against the doctor’s and not even bothering to disguise the movement. Jayne's not so sure he'll get a reaction now but it’s worth a try, he's wanting to know just how far gone the doc is. Just how deeply Simon's embedded himself in everything, rather than facing the truth. Not even a curse leaves Simon's lips though, not a mutter of annoyance or pain, exactly the non-reaction Jayne expected, but still it makes his annoyance soar. Simon's pad falls to the floor and he bends to pick it up, fingertips touching the floor to keep himself steady as he squats, Jayne unable to tear his eyes away from the tempting picture he paints. All bent over, just begging for attention, and the childish part of Jayne's half-tempted to knock him onto his fine backside. To try anything to draw a reaction.
Jayne catches Mal’s eyes, finally pulling them from Simon as he feels the heat from the Captain's stare. Mal looks like he's about to say something, and Jayne's lips twist in a smirk, readying something cutting and deriding about Simon that will get them all riled up. Everyone's still talking around them, making Jayne wonder if they even notice the doc's on the floor, but Mal's not talking. Not doing much but stare steadily at Jayne, searching for something he must find that Jayne just can't name because Mal's nodding now, to what Jayne doesn't know or care. It's almost like the Captain's giving his approval, but Jayne knows he's not that obvious, hidden his attraction for Simon under animosity, and he doubts Mal approves of the methods he's using to push Simon.
Man runs hot and cold when it comes to the doc. Tries too much to be hard when he's makin’ him feel soft, pushes him away and chases what he ain't got a chance in hell of gettin'. Safer option, my pigu , Nara'll mess him up bein' just as complicated. Play's hard to get because he ain't safe to her at all, plays with her heart instead of letting her go free.
Jayne's seen the way Mal looks at Simon, just a word from the doc can bring a hunger to Mal's eyes that the captain covers with sarcasm and smiles. Jayne can see right through it though, seen Mal step back quickly a few too many times as Simon moves too close, especially when they argue, those tight pants a dead giveaway as to what he's wanting. Seen him watch Simon, when Simon's not knowing he's there, a wistful expression on his face that's there for a too short moment before he storms off and takes his frustrations out on the 'verse. Seen Simon crushing on the captain, too. Mal always striking a nerve where others couldn't.
Kinda games they play could make a man frustrated and close to acting on, 'cept Mal still holds tight to the notion he shouldn't bed his crew. Stupid hun-dan.
Jayne's got no qualms about who he beds, save Kaylee of course, he'd not go near her. Mal would string him up by his balls then toss him out the airlock with them still attached inside. He can't say he's never thought on the idea, but he's partial to keeping his bits and staying aboard. Simon's different though. If Mal had given no signs on how he felt about the doctor, Jayne would have had him spread up against the wall by now, groaning and pleading as Jayne pounded into him. Wanting Jayne. Simon's not shown much interest, but Jayne's not stupid, no matter how the doc used to infer. He's felt Simon struggle against him, sensed the excitement before he's felt it against his thigh. Known their bantering, their fights, were nothing more than foreplay. They always left Jayne with a raging erection and spending some quality time in his bunk, anyhow. He couldn't speak for Simon, though he'd noticed the doctor hiding in the shadows--watching him work out many a time.
Man's not so much shy as at least half sly; seein’ me all hot and sweaty gets him rushing for his bunk faster'n any of Kaylee's flirting does.
It's just as well Jayne's not waiting for a reaction anymore, since Simon merely picks up his pad and leaves without saying a word, plate of food forgotten and left. Tzao-gao. Was a time the man would rise to the occasion, snarking back in a fashion Jayne found appealing. With eyes flashing like fire, full lips pressed tightly together, his body tense and begging to be unwound.
Inhaling deeply, Jayne pushes the image from his mind, if it stays there too long he's the one who'll be wearing too-tight pants. Looking back towards the table, lips pursing at the half-filled abandoned plate, Jayne catches River’s gaze. Sees pain and confusion in the girl's eyes. He's not sure what's going on in her chopped-up mind, but he's had reason before and still suspects the girl can sense her brother's feeling--the emotional struggle that he hides behind a neutral expression. Jayne's not wanting to muse too much on how she does, just knows she does. Can't shake the thought that it's not her fault either, can all be laid to rest at the rutting Alliance's feet.
Can't help not remembering, ain't sure I’d want to in her place, just more bad luck on the pair of 'em. More go-se for Doc to deal with.
Wasn't hard to see what made her first forget. Getting Mal away from Niska, Jayne still isn't sure just what she'd been doing with Kaylee in the cargo bay, but they'd come back to find the other girl crouched over River, seemingly forgetting the four dead men outside the bay. The doc’s sister sporting a bullet wound in her shoulder and bruises on the back of her head. Kaylee didn't speak much on it, save to Mal, despite her claiming they all had no secrets between them. Just looked real pale and kept crying as she tried to wake River up. Should have been an easy op too, by Jayne's reckoning, something Simon had voiced since he'd let Zoe patch her up as he worked on Mal. Only fate wasn't about to give either of them a break, River's mind too fragile and wrecked to stand up to her falling, hitting her head so hard.
Brain bleed, Simon had called it. Something simple for a trauma surgeon too, least one surrounded by everything he needs. Jayne's still not sure if rushing any faster would have changed things, if it took too long to steal what Simon needed, to sneak into the clinic on Persephone. Cascade brain failure, synapses misfiring…collapsing, Jayne's not sure why he remembers that when it took him so long, so much repetition, to remember other things--ones that had the reward of coin at the end. Maybe it was the way Simon’s voice had shook ever so slightly when he’d begged Mal to help him find what they needed, desperation and fear twisting it into a tone Jayne didn’t want to be hearing again. Was a time Mal would have been offended at that, at being seen to not do everything for his crew and Simon would have known better. Crazy or not, she was crew, and so was Simon.
We applied the cortical electrodes…he shakes off the difficult thought, still can't quite remember that one even now, reminds him of River all cold and stiff laid out like she was on Simon‘s table as he worked over her. Not lying next to her, all stiff and blue-lipped, making Jayne‘s gut clench when it finally hit him, far too late, just what Simon wouldn‘t do for River.
Jayne’s not aware he's walking, not excused himself from the table, just wandered off. Unconsciously searching and seeking, though he knows where what he wants is.
He didn't stop working, hands all bloodied where he cut into her, messing where they did and tryin' to put right what couldn't be done.
They'd seen a darker side of Simon that day, passionate in saving his sister but coldly furious when Book suggested something that had even Jayne wanting to reach for Vera. First time he'd thought the Shepherd stupid, first time he's considered dragging the man forcibly away.
"They made her this way, they’d know more, perhaps even save her. At least she’d be alive, son."
Rutting Alliance, as if they’d have helped. Would have just carted River away, made her brain bleed some more and then discarded her when she still didn’t work right. Not so perfect anymore. That was the only time he'd seen Simon shake off Book's touch, the first time the man's ever come close to threatening--speaking in a calm manner, no fury on his face, yet dangerous nonetheless. Should have been the second time really, if Jayne had been enough of a hun-dan to see a threat where chance for truce lay.
“That’s not an option.” Simon hadn’t needed to say more, even as Book had kept up pushing, finally snapping, though Jayne had been the one to see it. Keeping up the coolness, the aloof doctor façade he wore so well. The one Jayne saw straight through. Saw the danger lurking there in the brother refusing to give up. Not so much the doctor part of Simon working 'til he damn near passed out, only collapsing when exhaustion took him and the damage was halted.
Everything he’d done, given up. All that coin an’ life an’ sanity gone when she opened her gorramn eyes and stared at him so blankly.
Jayne reckons it near on tore Simon’s heart out when she pulled back from him, babbling in that crazy disjointed way, not knowing who he was and not believing none of them when they tried to tell her. Ain’t ever seen a man die whilst he’s still standing, heart still beating and hands reaching. She pushed him away, clung to Kaylee and didn’t know no Simon, or no River or nothing. Thought Mal was gonna have to put a bullet in her, way she carried on.
That had been nine weeks ago, and they were still no closer to getting back the River that Simon remembered. The girl in her place, a shadow despite her frequent profane outbursts, hiding behind and clinging to Kaylee, stubbornly refusing to let Simon near her. Made Jayne wonder if a part of her remembered what had happened to her, what Simon had done to try and treat her, and just didn’t want to hurt that way anymore. Whatever which way, she was calmer but still as rutting crazy.
Doc’s acting too controlled, wound so tightly he could burst and take them all with him. Playing the role he’d stuck to so rigidly at first, trying to pretend the ‘verse hadn’t just screwed him over. Jayne knew when a man got wound that tightly, he needed releasing. He’s not seen Simon cry, not that he thinks the man would show that weakness around him anyway, not around anyone. ’Sides crying means givin’ up, not winning. He hasn’t got mad, got snappy or sarcastic with anyone since the day River woke, no matter how much Jayne’s been baiting him, been pushing at him to get a reaction--any reaction.
And he’s not the only one. Jayne’s seen Mal trying too. Gotta be about the only time I seen Mal wantin’ a clock to the face, but Simon, he weren’t biting.
Jayne’s standing near the infirmary now, half hidden from view and watching as Simon shakes off the last few water droplets from his shower. His pajama bottoms cling to his body in an enticing manner, damp patches where he hasn’t dried off yet before pulling them on; it has Jayne acutely aware of his own arousal, the tightness of his pants as Simon slowly moves past.
Simon pauses at River’s door, fingers lightly touching the surface, as he listens intently. Jayne can almost see him hoping, but the expression on his face tells the merc that Simon’s not about to speak. Not about to break whatever moment of musing he’s stopped in. And truth be told, Jayne’s not all that interested in what Simon’s thinking on, his eyes are too busy devouring the younger man’s body. Wondering where the doc managed to get all those muscles from, and why he’s never had cause to see them up close before.
Then Simon moves quickly into his own room, not noticing the man watching him, and pulling the door firmly shut behind him. Only a slight clunk betraying his true feelings and emotion, as close to a slam as the door is going to get.
“More’n one way to get him back, to get him all pissy and petulant again.” Jayne murmurs the words to himself as he pats his pocket, wondering if craziness is catching, because he doesn’t usually talk to himself or think so much, especially after Simon. Fingers dip inside the smooth seam for what he needs, the small object he feels making him relax.
He isn’t sure how to play this, how’s the best way to start, but his feet are taking the choice of thinking on it away from him. He’s already at Simon’s door, knuckles rapping against it.
It takes a long moment before Simon answers, sliding the door back with less force than he closed it. The doc looks confused for a moment, looks like he's having a hard time placing Jayne, and the merc is tempted to introduce himself, but the sarcasm would be wasted given Simon’s mood. Jayne folds his arms over his chest, scowl on his face as he stares at the barely-clothed man trying to avoid his eyes, gaze lingering over Simon’s bare flesh.
“What do you want, Jayne?“ Simon’s tone is flat as he shakes his head, but Jayne is already striding inside, not expecting or awaiting an invite, jostling Simon out of the way as he does. He shouldn’t feel nervous and yet he does, reaching behind Simon to pull the door closed with a resolute snick.
Simon should be the one all nervous and flustered. Face all flushed and annoyed in the manner that manages to grab every part of Jayne’s attention. The doctor should be wearing a look of trepidation, or be getting annoyed with Jayne barging in, or something…anything. Instead he’s just staring at Jayne, disinterested despite the potential danger he could be facing.
Thought that would at least get him edgy. Weren’t expecting him to be riled, but he’s acting like I’m Wash or Book, ain’t like him not to be wary at least.
Jayne looks him up and down, keeping his face deliberately expressionless, waiting for a reaction, eyes boring into Simon’s, daring him to say something. Wanting him to. He's not too fond of patience though.
“Tzao-gao“. The words are exasperated and break through the silence, Jayne deciding to push for his desired reaction, to force Simon to start seeing him, to start living in the ‘verse like they all had to. There is the potential for things to go very wrong, but Jayne isn’t going to think too much on it; instead he lets his body do the talking and asking, his mind stepping back so he can use every other sense to appreciate what he’s about to do.
Fingers curling under the hem, Jayne grasps his t-shirt and pulls it over his head.
“What in di-yu are you doing, Jayne!” Simon jumps, jerking slightly as if Jayne’s pinched him, but Jayne’s only too aware where Simon’s eyes are looking. Fixed on his chest, watching as Jayne tenses and flexes his muscles. Jayne can't help smirking as Simon’s eyes snap up to meet his own, red color staining his cheeks before he looks away.
“You should leave. I have lots of work to do.” Simon tears his eyes away, fixing them firmly on the discarded pad by his bed, skirting the issue neatly, pretending once more.
Jayne merely bends and unlaces his boots, taking his time to let Simon babble. Let the doc’s words rush over themselves, never one to hold his tongue much as the grief it gets him sometimes. Oddly reassuring in a way. As he kicks his boots off, the babble dies down and he can see he’s got Simon’s attention once more. Managed to capture it better. It gives him a feeling of satisfaction, one which only widens his smirk.
“I don’t have time for this.“ Simon shakes his head, rejecting Jayne as easily as he did reality, making the merc’s eyes narrow as anger flushes through him. There weren’t many people who ignored him in this state, most would already be dropping to their knees, but Simon’s ignoring him, dismissing him.
Simon moves to slide open the door, but Jayne is faster, already there, pinning him against the wall, his face by Simon's ear pulling his hand up behind his back and holding him rigid. Simon’s struggling, not too much because it’s got to be pulling on his arm and Jayne’s holding him firm enough to stop him--not wanting the man damaged by their tussle.
“Not very courteous, Doc.” Jayne purrs the words out, his tongue darting out to lick at Simon’s neck. Tasting the sweat that’s heating his skin to such a fine shade of pink, or perhaps the last few droplets of water from his shower turned salty by his own skin.
“No, Jayne.”
He kisses up Simon’s neck, tongue flicking behind his ear a moment before he bites down gently on the lobe. He can hear Simon saying no, but doesn't stop as he pushes Simon almost flat against the wall. Nipping down the side of Simon‘s neck, leaving small reddish marks in his wake. Simon’s groaning now, almost muffled and Jayne can see his lips press together tightly even as he grinds against the wall and then tenses, like the doc's having to remind himself he shouldn't be enjoying this.
Licking down, Jayne follows a small bead of sweat down Simon‘s spine, his grip loosening slightly on Simon‘s arm, just enough so the doc can move but not enough to get away. He‘s using his body weight against Simon now, pushing his hand between Simon‘s legs to cup his balls through his clothes. He can just about feel Simon‘s hard shaft, pressed so close to the wall that Jayne‘s sure it‘s uncomfortable. He‘s just not so sure he cares, he‘s more focused on rubbing his thumb against the crinkled sac, pressing up gently and feeling a pulse right through to his thumb as Simon inhales sharply. Simon's squirming more now, body trembling lightly as Jayne lets go of his balls and twists his hand, nudging it firmly against Simon's inner thighs. He knows he could have just kicked them apart earlier, but he's not wanting to force himself on the man, preferring the feel of Simon trembling as he spreads his legs that little bit more apart, almost eagerly as Jayne cups his balls once more like he's rewarding him for it.
Kinda pretty to see the doc getting shook up like this, been too long since Jayne's managed to do anything to get him close to reacting and now the man's all flushed and splayed against the wall. Not surprisingly, Jayne's having a hard time keeping himself from spinning him back around and tumbling them both to the bed, still he's not sure the doc wouldn't start fighting back properly then. Besides Simon's uncertain responses are making Jayne all the harder, making him briefly palm his erection through his pants, feeling arousal sweep through him as he grips Simon's hip. The doc's not saying anything but he's still trying to push back, a struggle which becomes all the more active as Jayne's fingers ease into his pajama bottoms.
"Ruttin' stay still would ya?"
It seems like Simon's about to do as he says, stunned into motionless for a few seconds by the audacity or ridiculousness of Jayne's question, but as Jayne one-handedly starts to ease down his pants, he's spurred back into motion. Hands pushing at the wall, Simon's trying to twist himself around, his fists already clenching like he knows he's going to try beating Jayne back. Something Jayne knows would never happen. He could have just knocked Simon out and trussed him up if that was his intention. Instead he's no longer moving to squat, half-crawling up Simon's back instead, avoiding the doc's hands as he viciously tries to swipe and claw at him, realizing pushing away is futile. Jayne's got the strength, motive and the better position.
"Don't." The word trembles in time with Simon's body, the man close to panic and Jayne isn't sure if he's annoyed or approves of Simon's pessimism. Doc obviously thinks so shallowly of him that he believes Jayne'll take him with nothing, just force himself in and screw him from behind, take his pleasure and leave Simon in pain and unsatisfied.
"Ain't gonna be doing that any time soon, Simon."
He uses Simon's name purposefully, knowing he's not had much call to use it in the past. Simon's not answering him, but he's not still swiping at him either. Still trying to twist, trying to catch Jayne's eyes, and Jayne's half-tempted to spin him around for a moment and catch him in a quick punishing kiss. He can just imagine how Simon's looking, all angry and white-faced, clenching his teeth together as his blue eyes spit sparks. Tempting image, but Jayne's already got Simon's pants pooling about his feet, still pressed up against Simon and unable to appreciate the view, but more than able to feel it against him. Feel his cock, still bound by his pants pressing against Simon's buttocks, snugly resting between his cheeks before Jayne slowly slides down Simon's body, kneeling behind the man.
He wants to break Simon, make him come back down from wherever he hid and feel something, lose the control he has.
And this is something he can certainly enjoy. Hands on Simon's back, on level with buttocks which shake ever so slightly as Jayne nips at one. The cursed insult, so unexpected from Simon, makes him laugh, mouth still pressed against the reddened mark which he flicks his tongue over. Simon's all pink and sweat-shined, clenching his buttocks as Jayne cautiously trails one hand down his back, not so sure the man's not going to try getting away again. Simon's almost hairless from behind, only the barest smattering of silky soft hairs covering his back, almost as smooth as his chest and just as muscular. Fingers stroking over Simon's spine, making him stiffen and whisper another insult, this time aimed at Jayne's father, which doesn't bother Jayne none. His hand’s already kneading one of Simon's buttocks, making the doctor squirm as the skin pinks up, and just as Jayne's sure Simon's about to start fighting back again, he leans forward, pressing his face between Simon's cheeks, and dashes his tongue over the small pucker between them.
"Jayne."
The word is more strangled now, to Jayne's satisfaction, only the tongue poking out of his mouth stopping the merc from grinning as he inhales deeply, smelling...apples? He frowns, tongue dashing once more over Simon's hole inhaling the barely musky scent disguised by apples. He's not surprised, Doc’s so clean and prissy all the time, but the scent does take him aback for a moment, sending amusement through him as he wonders if Simon's cock tastes like strawberries.
Tongue swirling around the small hole, feeling it quiver ever so slightly as Simon does a poor job of muffling his gasp, Jayne's palming his own hardness again, rubbing it as his tongue lazily flicks over Simon. Teasing the man into a frenzy, getting him writhing against the wall as he takes his time tasting and licking at Simon. He can't see the other man gripping at the wall, biting back the noises he doesn't want to be making, but he can feel Simon's body vibrating, surprising Jayne by being so responsive and so damn quiet at the same time. The dead giveaway being Simon's toes curling, his body tensing ever so slightly as Jayne stabs at the pucker with his tongue.
Jayne's no longer needing to use his hands to hold Simon back the doctor's pushing back against him for another reason now, body relaxing ever so slightly and letting Jayne's tongue slip inside as he teases him, then clenching, making Jayne work all the harder as Simon takes control of his body's reactions. He wants to be looking at Simon now, watching the confusion and pleasure flush through him as conflicting emotions and desires rush through him.
Maybe next time.
One hand snakes around to feel that Simon's hard and wanting, to stroke at his cock as Simon pushes away from the wall and against him, wanting Jayne's tongue, wanting what the merc's doing to him, even if he hates it. Jayne uses his free hand to unbuckle his pants, shrugging them down, glad not to worry about boxers as his cock springs free. Pants pushed around his knees, he fishes in his pocket, never once stopping the tongue and hand teasing that's got Simon squirming against the wall. His hand eases the foil from his pocket; it’s not like he doesn't know Simon's clean and the doc's always sure to check him over after planet leave, but Jayne's got no slick, so the lube on it has to do. He's not gonna ask and search Simon's room for it and it's not like there's any on offer.
Doc's feelin' a bit slick now anyway.
Simon's cock’s pulsing in his hand, the man not trying to hold back the noises now, and even if Jayne’s cock wasn't throbbing and him wanting in on the action, Simon's responses were a dead giveaway it was time to stop--at least for the moment. Jayne wants to laugh as Simon groans in frustration, tongue now tracing up Simon's spine, catching the salt there as he pushes himself up to standing. He has to hold Simon in place again as a cool draft brings goosebumps to the doc, along with an awareness Jayne isn't wanting there. Has to kick off his own pants and hold Simon from behind, hard cock catching the man's attention, drawing Simon to tilt his head and look downwards as it rubs against his hip.
Jayne's not sure if the shudder is a good or bad thing, but he's not worrying much on it, startling Simon as he grips his shoulders and twists the man around, catching a glimpse of the doc's flushed face and wide eyes before Jayne claims his lips in hard kiss. Simon's shuai most of the time, but looking so flustered and overcome, a look Jayne finds more arousing than he probably should, he's a very tempting treat. One Jayne's about to devour. He half expects Simon to bite down as he thrusts his tongue between the man's lips, tasting mint as his tongue dashes over Simon's, exploring every inch of his mouth as he rocks his hip against Simon. It's all about Simon, all about getting the doc normal again, but just for that one moment Jayne lets himself sink into it not being like that. Letting himself imagine that Simon's kissing him back with just as much enthusiasm, not so tentatively and uncertainly.
Would be, if I was Mal.
That thought soured the moment, Jayne tearing his mouth away from Simon's as if he's tasted something bad, unable to stop the brief fury that rushes through him. "Get." He glares at Simon, eyes flicking to the bed for a moment as Simon draws back, bewilderment clouding his features, the hardness against Jayne's body softening somewhat. Jayne's looking every inch like he's about to do something that reviles him, but as Simon moves to speak, parting swollen lips that capture Jayne's attention, Jayne's already pressing his own to them. Chasing away the unwanted thought, claiming Simon for a moment and nipping savagely on his lower lip just to draw a yelp from the doctor and mark him up a little. He nudges Simon towards the bed, the man hesitating for a moment before moving, tripping over the pajamas around his ankles to fall splayed against the immaculate covers. The pristine, carefully arranged blanket that Jayne has every intention of mussing up--along with its owner.
Jayne wants to do more than just kiss Simon now, wants to ease the leftover resentment of Mal and satisfy the need in his own body all at once. He can see Simon's eyes drawn to the part of him that craves attention the most, the doctor's lips parting as if he's about to speak, although he doesn't say a word as Jayne climbs onto the bed and pulls himself up onto Simon's body. Knee moving to part the doctor's legs, Simon's hands are pushing firmly at his shoulders, the "no" having barely left his lips as Jayne runs his tongue over them. It's easy to ignore Simon, to nip at his lips and kiss roughly down his neck, leaving whisker burn and red marks as he does. Branding Simon and making the more firmly repeated, "No, I don't-" catch in Simon's throat as Jayne bites down his body. Teeth and tongue working down his chest and over his nipples, his hands holding down Simon's arms as he ignores what Simon's saying.
He can feel Simon shudder against him, still trying to wrestle himself from Jayne's grip as he holds him firmly, letting not one inch be free of his tongue and lips. Simon's always been pale, but it's so much better to appreciate now, with him hard and squirming in Jayne's grasp, pale skin marred by pink marks. Jayne's no old man, but he's not so young the slightest sensation gets him close to coming, and much as he's ready to just pound into Simon, he's wanting to take longer and explore every part of Simon's body. To get the man falling and succumbing to every sensation, calling out what he wants as Jayne gives it and damn near ruts him into being him again. Hips thrust forward, legs between Simon‘s, Jayne rubs against him, cock to cock as he attacks Simon's lips once more. Muffling every noise, every complaint or protest the doctor could have.
But Simon's moaning into his mouth now, body arching against Jayne's and just as he feels Simon respond to the kiss, sweeping his tongue boldly over Jayne's, the merc pulls back. Frustration makes a man horny as hell and Jayne's feeling the need for more than just rubbing, more than kissing. He wants to feel Simon's lips wrapping eagerly around his cock, wants to fuck the doc's mouth and body all at once.
For someone so large, he can be quick at times and stealthy to boot, bouncing to one side and turning himself around so fast Simon’s moan has barely faded. Jayne's cock juts close to Simon's face, resting against his cheek, but the man's not saying a word, tensing all over as Jayne grips his legs at the knees, nudging them further apart before he settles between them, propped up on his elbows, feeling the slight vibration that runs through them. Simon’s too tense, waiting and clenching, not trusting Jayne which the merc heartily approves of.
"Ain't expecting anythin' fancy, Simon, know yer too prissy to be doin' much." Jayne smirks as he says the words, letting the challenge hang for a moment as he pictures the look that was sure to be on Simon's face, leaning over to lick up Simon's cock, to taste the soursweet taste he expects rather than strawberries or apple, a finer taste that gets Jayne all the more enthusiastic to wrap his lips around Simon's cock and take the man into his mouth all at once.
"Cao!"
The curse makes Jayne chuckle, Simon's groan becoming a pleading whine as he clamps his lips shut and tries to thrust in further. Jayne revels in the knowledge that he's the one getting Simon all riled and wanton, that's he's the one thrusting his cock against Simon’s face and feeling him hesitantly take a hold of it. Simon’s almost shy as he licks over the shaft, growing bold enough to take it down his throat in a manner more eager than experienced. Jayne lets the sensations rush over him, taking a moment to enjoy them as he hums around Simon's cock, making the man moan and the blowjob he's receiving more sloppy than some. But it's all he can do to resist bucking forward and slamming himself down Simon's throat. Concentrating on Simon seems to delay the urge for the most part, so Jayne gently grates his teeth over Simon's cock, letting it fall from his lips as he feels it twitch, fingers gripping around the base to hold off Simon's release. He wants Simon wild with desire, panting in need and pleading in a nonsensical babble, but he also wants to be watching the man as he does.
He won't be lasting much longer, moment I let go reckon he'll be there.
Jayne's getting impatient now, fuelled by Simon’s desire as the man tries to buck against him and rekindle his attention. Cock thrusting further down Simon‘s throat, completely by accident, though Jayne‘s not about to complain when Simon sucks all the harder, one hand groping at his buttock, kneading it for a moment before his tongue descends once more between Simon's cheeks. Not touching Simon's cock, save at the base to stop him coming, feeling it twitch against the underside of his jaw, his tongue stabs at the small ring of muscle, no longer just intent on teasing Simon with sensation, but also getting him as ready as he can without using lube. He manages to ease one finger inside Simon, though the man seems to choke a little around his cock, but he pushes back a moment later, clenching around Jayne's finger as he eases it quickly in and out, tongue occasionally slipping in, too, as Jayne licks.
Man'll be the death of me. Mayhap in more ways than one if Mal ever gets wind of this. Or Zoe.
But he's got pleasanter things to do than think on them, got Simon writhing beneath him, sucking vigorously on Jayne's balls now.
Jayne’s spitting on his fingers now, rubbing them against Simon as he pushes himself up by his knees. Simon makes a sound of protest as Jayne's cock sweeps across his cheek, leaving a trail of pre-come on it that Jayne runs his tongue along when he turns around. It's not so unpleasant to taste himself, and from the intent look that Simon's now giving him, not so unpleasant to see either.
"Jayne-"
Jayne hushes him, nipping at his neck, making Simon gasp as he moves between his legs and slides on the condom. Feeling the slippery scant lubricant, which he rubs on Simon, pushing his fingertips slightly inside the man as he does. Lips pressed tightly over Simon’s, not once pausing, Jayne lines himself up and thrusts in, drawing a choked gasp from Simon.
And wo-de-ma is the man tight, Jayne’s pressing his lips all the harder, muffling Simon’s noises as well as his own as he feels his cock squeezed snugly, Simon’s body resisting for a moment but then he's all in. Warmth surrounding him, making his body tingle and balls clench, cock twitching inside Simon, feeling the man pulse around him. Been too long since Jayne’s felt anything like this, maybe only a couple of months, but that’s a long enough time for anyone. Been longer than that that he’s had someone who’s not after coin.
His lips are still on Simon’s, parting now to close over his in a proper kiss, his hands on Simon’s cock, relief and smugness flooding him to find that the doctor’s erection’s not wavered.
Doc’s not as straight as he makes out, more fun to push him this way.
Drawing back his hips, cock coming dangerously close to leaving Simon’s body, the merc waits for a moment, only slamming back inside as Simon wriggles against him. Hips rotating, feeling Simon shudder and clutch at him as he hits what he’s aiming for, Jayne eases one of Simon's legs over his shoulder pushing it back as he thrusts in deeper. He can’t do controlled, can’t do rutting for too long without feeling need overtake him. Thrusts become more erratic and forceful as he pounds into Simon, pushing them further and further up the bed, feeling the doc clench at him at all the right moments. Squeezing his cock as he pulls out, clutching and tightening as Jayne pushes in.
It’s rough and quick, passion drawn out as Simon cries out, his body shaking around Jayne, sending fine vibrations up the merc’s cock which get his balls aching. Simon comes without a touch, the only friction the occasional moment when Jayne’s arm grazes down, release stickily spurted onto his belly as Jayne revels in the moment. Of being inside Simon, having the man gripping at the bed sheets, his eyes screwed shut as he gasps and twitches, unable and unwilling to do more than just lie there as Jayne stares down at him, eyes glittering as he thrusts all the harder.
Heat rushing through him, ears ringing, Jayne follows a few thrusts later, aching balls clenching as his cock pulses his release. Still heady, thrusts slowed to a lazy motion, Jayne collapses against Simon, body still shuddery and unable to support himself.
For the longest moment there’s nothing but silence, but it’s not uncomfortable, not a tension Jayne can’t deal with. His gaze flicks down to Simon’s unreadable expression, so many emotions playing across his face that Jayne couldn’t place them all even if he wanted and Jayne glances away. Hips pulling back as he eases himself from Simon‘s body, ignoring Simon’s murmured groan at the slight ache. Fingers gliding over, rolling the condom off, Jayne didn’t even give it a glance as he tossed it carelessly to the floor before cupping his own cock, feeling the sensitivity there--sign of a decent rut.
Jayne shifts behind Simon, spooning against him and pressing his chin to the back of Simon's head.
Too much emotion, so much Simon’s been suppressing and not letting himself feel--not something Jayne wants to see and something he knows Simon isn’t wanting him to.
So he just holds him, listens to Simon breathe and hears the slight hitch even before he feels Simon shudder. Jayne doesn’t need to see it to know Simon’s crying, won’t bring himself to picture it neither, and is fervently glad Simon’s doing it silently. Just as relieved as he is to finally get a reaction, to know Simon's finding the release he really needs.
Ain’t no shame in it. Be a cryin’ one if he was to get himself all stiff and unfeeling’ again.
Hands moving around Simon’s waist, he lets Simon cry as long as he needs to, feels the shakes fade down to the slightest vibration and Simon’s breathing even out. Jayne knows Simon’s half asleep by now; sated and sticky and holding less in than he was before and Jayne figures it’s time to go. Last thing Simon’s gonna want come morning is Jayne up against him, likely they’d be shouting and the doctor almost back to his usual sarcastic self, and comfy as Jayne is, that would just complicate things too much. Better to leave now and let Simon pretend nothing ever happened, the one and only time he’ll actually let something go without snarking at him about it.
At least that’s what he aims to do, but as he loosens his grip on Simon, starting to slide away and out the bed, Simon’s hands grip at his arms, encouraging him back down. Jayne pauses in the act of shifting more.
“Why?“ Simon’s voice is soft and has a husky edge to it, but there’s no revulsion to it, which Jayne’s on edge looking out for and ready to be storming out over.
“You didn't say no.” Technically he had, but Jayne didn’t count it as no when the body’s saying yes, didn’t say no the whole way through, either, which would have made Jayne stop. Kissed back with some lust at times, too.
There is the longest of pauses, Simon apparently weighing up his answer and judging it, even as his hands tighten on Jayne.
“’Cause you needed it." Jayne admits with some reluctance, waiting for Simon to roll over and shove him away. To fix him with a scathing look and deny what they both know is true. He’s ready to push back just as much if the doc follows that path, let his tongue fly before he leaves, pride intact and pleased at his own prowess.
But silence fills the room, broken only by the sound of them both breathing, and yet Simon's still not letting him go, and Jayne's not as uncomfortable at the doc speaking to him as he thought. Not complicated to help someone heal, least not in some ways, something he's sure Simon knows.
Simon reaches up, flicking off the light, and Jayne’s still for a moment, uncertain, before he spoons back against Simon. The softest mutter reaches his ears and he can’t help smiling as he closes his eyes, letting sleep take him.
“Thanks , Jayne.”