a little miserable...
It surely is time.... to get out of here. The decision is always difficult as hell. I do not want to leave my family. I hate this area though. I don't think I have enough time to find a job and an affordable place by November. I can't continue the way I'm living. There are so many contradictions I have. Things that are pulling me back and forth through my decision. I don't have anyone now. But who will I have in the city? I'd probably see Jayne and Victoria as much as I do now, I'll probably have just as much time as I do now. To do what I want to do - music - I'll have to start at the bottom. Maybe intern. I'll need to have another job..a way to make money. That really takes a lot of time out of your life. I'll need a roommate. I can't live without cable and internet. I can't give up televsion or fast ways to check my email. I'm going to be stuck here and poor the rest of my life. I can't stay at my job. They all annoy me. I go crazy over it. Especially Fridays, when I'm in early, they all come in and bombard with questions. Every sales person in the place. They need to realize I've already had half a day at work, leave me alone. Constantly, I'm wondering what I'm going to do.. and what I can really handle. I'm doomed.