The Beacon; My Siren - Chap 23B
Title: The Beacon; My Siren
Author: wild_terrain (ie. fi_chan)
Banner (Made beautifully by love_cassiopeia):
Chapter: [23B / ?]
Rating: MA15+
Genre: AU [FLANGST, mystery, spirituality, romance]
Summary: Philophobia… The fear of falling in love or being in love. I didn’t know such a thing existed until I met him… Kim JaeJoong was my age-a youthful 25 years-and the owner of a popular café, yet he was already known around town as the mysterious hermit who had chosen to completely withdraw from the world. How on earth could someone so young be afraid of loving others to the point of secluding themselves from all human beings? What was he afraid of? What was he hiding? I just didn’t understand it. And by that stage, the need to understand it was all I could think about... In fact, he was all I could think about…
Jung Yunho… For all of my life I had grown up away from the limelight. I couldn’t stand being noticed by anybody, and for a long time I thankfully never was. But then you came and suddenly you were everywhere - waving to me as I swept the café after closing, saying hello to me as you cycled past the bench I was sitting on, helping me carry my groceries inside whilst talking non-stop to me as if we were actually friends… Why are you always around making my heart thump erratically? Why do you even care? The more you try to explore this town, the more I need to step up and protect you from your own curiosity, because I know It is out there and I know It wants to harm you…
Trailer: CLICK TO WATCH~~
Beta = moon1084 <3
A/N: The second half of chapter 23 is here!! Sorry for the wait. I was going to post at the beginning of the week but some family things happened and I was too exhausted to even look at my LJ here. *sigh* This second half is 27 pages though so I've had to post it in two bits for ya. So complicated! XD.
PART B
“Hmm, what’s the time?” Yunho muttered to himself. Pressing a button on his watch to light up the digital screen, he hummed in approval. “1:10am. Perfect. Still time to play.”
“Play?” Why did I get the feeling that another one of his crazy ideas was going to keep me up all night?
”Yep.” He crawled out from under me. “I told you, we’re four-we’re supposed to have lots of energy.”
“Don’t four year-olds have an early curfew?”
“That’s only enforced by parents.”
“Oh, I see,” I drawled, smiling.
“C’mon, Joongie-woongie. Let’s go!”
“Joongie-woongie?”
“Your four year-old nickname. Or maybe you’d prefer ‘JayJay?’”
“Whatever you fancy, Yunnikins.”
“Ah, now you’re talkin’!” he beamed.
My hand was grabbed again and I was pulled far down the park. Some children’s play equipment came into view and I finally figured out my fate.
“Slippery Dip, whoo!” Yunho scrambled up the small steps leading up to the plastic slope. Plonking his butt down at the top and pushing himself down, he made a real racket as he waved his arms about. His melodramatic yells were so loud, my body twitched, wanting me to block my ears and cover up my eyes. Yet the ride only lasted for a few seconds-hardly anything worth whooping about…
Before climbing back up the steps to have another go, he grabbed onto my arm and lugged me forward with him. I was ordered to sit in front. As soon as I had seated myself at the top of the slide, my bear-like boyfriend hugged my waist and his legs stretched out awkwardly on either side of me. We barely fit together on the slide. I was half expecting the large blob our combined bodies made to jam against the sides and prevent us from moving anywhere. Yunho seemed a lot more optimistic than I did about the physics.
“Now lift your arms up!”
“Why?”
“Hey, you said you wanted to be like me. To be me you need to have no shame.”
I let out a giggle. I wasn’t going to disagree with him there!
“Nah, it’s actually a trick,” he laughed against my neck. “If you wave your arms about like you’re on a roller coaster drop and scream as if it’s exhilarating, it feels more fun than it really is.”
He pushed us off the top and started yelling. His hands left my waist to pull my arms up and keep them there. I lost control of my body, unable to move against Yunho’s restraints as we fell forward.
“Whoo, whoooo!” he yelled, waving my hands around above my head. I could do nothing but laugh-the whole way down.
We repeated the silliness a few more times, our arms turning into wobbling tentacles one ride and then wings the next. We could cry out as loudly and melodramatically as we wanted-the park was streets away from any houses. It was fun, it was silly, it was addictive. It didn’t even matter when a few drops of water wet our foreheads. The light rain had no affect on our fun. If anything it spurred us on.
“Alright, we’re definitely going on the torture device next.”
“Torture device?” I let out a laugh, wiping some of the wetness off my forehead with my pajama sleeve.
“You’ll see, you’ll see.” His eyes twinkled in the patch of light the nearby street lamp shone over the little playground.
The structure of choice did look rather intimidating as we approached it. It looked like a giant set of kitchen scales. The whole thing was bright yellow and the two seats hanging down at either end looked like toilet plungers.
Getting onto the seat was a challenge in itself. They were so tiny! And with the long yellow pole coming up from the middle of it (like a real toilet plunger!), it looked like there really wasn’t much room for certain male body parts to rest comfortably.
Size wasn’t the only problem-both seats had to be even on either side for both people to successfully get on, otherwise one seat would drop too low whilst the other rose up too high to climb onto. It took me a minute just to master getting seated! Mind you, that was mostly because Yunho and I kept laughing too hard to get on properly when the seats became uneven and one person was left with one leg hooked over the seat in a strange sort of yoga-like position. Thank god our pajama pants were loose was all I could say!
“Hold on tight to the pole thing coming out of your seat, okay?” Yunho instructed once we were both floating evenly opposite one another. “I’m gonna show you why it’s the perfect torture device.”
Yunho pushed down hard on the ground to rise up high into the air and I found myself plummeting violently downwards towards the ground. I almost slipped backwards off the wet toilet plunger seat and quickly tightened my grip on the pole. This thing was like a seesaw on steroids!
“Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!” Yunho cackled as gravity pulled him down. I rose in return.
“This thing is so dangerous!” I gasped. “How come it’s at a kids’ playground?”
“Nah, it’s not too bad. Certainly not ones for the littler ones, though. This is a big kid’s treasure.”
“I didn’t realize there was hierarchy in kids playgrounds,” I chuckled, letting gravity pull me down again. The rain was getting heavier and I could feel some drops of water slipping down my back. It was cold and uncomfortable, but for some reason I wasn’t tempted in the slightest to get off the Torture Device in favor of finding shelter. “You know, once you get used to the rhythm this is kind of fun.”
“Glad you think so.”
“I can see why it’s a torture device. At all times one kid has the power over the other. It shifts alternatively, but if you get stuck with a bad egg, you leave yourself open to vulnerability for a few seconds.”
“Which is why you’ve gotta make sure you don’t get stuck riding opposite a bad egg.”
“Am I stuck opposite a bad egg?” I peered at him in mock suspicion.
“Most certainly.”
Uh-oh. I should not have asked him that question seconds before I was set to rise up in the air, leaving myself completely vulnerable. My man was a teaser and I had just opened myself up to be a victim yet again.
I hurriedly tightened my hold on the pole just as Yunho slid off his seat. I was on a giant kitchen scale and a sack of potatoes had just been lifted off one end. Now the scale was uneven, with air over one seat and a good 65kg or so of weight on the other.
I came crashing down. Hard.
My scream filled the air. I don’t even know how I even managed to stay on the seat. Pure instinct, I guess.
“Yunho!” I roared. I was not amused one bit.
He muffled a laugh, but then straightened back up almost immediately. “It’s not so bad, Joongie. I’m not that mean! I didn’t completely get off the seat-my leg and arms were still pressing down hard so that you wouldn’t fall too roughly.”
“My backside begs to disagree!”
“I’m sorry, baby,” Yunho pouted. He helped me up from the hard seat and gave me an apologetic hug from behind.
“No, get off me.”
“JaeJoong…”
“Get off me!” He pulled away from me in shock. I saw my opening and went for it. “Last one to the swings has to do all the cleaning up tomorrow night!” I yelled over my shoulder, grinning as I bolted away from him.
“H-Hey!” The squelchy steps he made as he ran through the wet grass after me sounded far away as I grabbed the metal chain of the left swing and settled myself down. I guess he’d really thought I’d been mad at him-if his slow reaction time was anything to go by.
I giggled as he finally reached me and swung innocently past him. Whilst I was at it, I pushed my soaking wet fringe out of my eyes and off my forehead. My pajamas were clinging to me and the rain was only falling harder. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. I let the rain splatter onto my face and drip down my cheeks.
Beside me, Yunho sat down onto the swing next to me and backed himself up for momentum before letting go and letting the wind take him high up into the air. He had to fight to reach my momentum and height but soon we were even. Yunho’s hair was soaking wet as well but it was shorter than mine so it didn’t seem to be bothering him as much. When he pushed it off his face it stayed-unlike mine, which kept slipping downwards over my eyes every time I swung forwards and the wind changed direction.
After a while of relaxing swinging, Yunho started slowing down and urged me to do the same. “You know what is really fun to do on the swings?”
I shook my head.
“Well, there are heaps of fun things to do, but one of my favorites is getting the chains tangled. Trust me, it’s fun.” He got up from his seat and moved behind me. Demonstrating what he meant, he got me to turn around on the swing until the two chains started tangling together pretty tightly. “When the chains start to untangle themselves, you go spinning with it. It’s awesome.”
I had to smile at that. He sounded like a little kid again.
“Are you ready?”
“Mmhmm.” I lifted my feet up from the ground and Yunho gave me a quick push backwards to start the motion. He stepped away quickly as the swing swung around and my legs almost hit him. It was like I was stuck in a whirlwind. Gravity was trying to pull me backwards so I let it; I leant back and held onto the very bottom of the chains and let myself twirl and fly on the spot like a human Frisbee.
As soon as the chains untangled, I was pushed roughly to the side again and began to re-tangle. I couldn’t stop my laughter from pouring out. My dizziness was well worth it.
I was about to try it again when I heard Yunho half laughing, half spluttering beside me. He was wiping at his eyes, and his mouth hung slightly open in complaint. “When you spun like crazy, so did your wet hair and the water on it flew at me like tiny missiles. I felt like I was standing next to a wet shaggy dog,” he explained.
“A bit of water is nothing!” I replied. “My own hair whipped me repeatedly just then and it hurt. I feel like a sea monster.”
“You look like one too,” he laughed. He came over to me and gently wiped my cheeks and forehead completely free of any hair. His palm remained cupping my jaw and my face was pulled forward ever so slightly towards him as he bent down to kiss me.
That’s all we did for the rest of the night-kiss and play around on the swings. But by the time we returned back to the café for a much needed shower, the rain had stopped and it was past 3am. If the sun had been out, I had a feeling there would have been a rainbow arcing somewhere nearby…
I was vaguely aware of JaeJoong stumbling out of bed early the next morning to let the morning staff into the café. By that stage, we were running on two hours of sleep. Or in my case, barely running at all. I hadn’t had enough energy to even open my eyes when JaeJoong returned to bed again.
Our little spontaneous park frolicking had seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea at the time, but now with my petrol tank running near empty, I began to feel the repercussions I’d barely even given a thought to last night.
Today was my last full day in town with Junsu and Eunbi. We’d planned a long hike for the morning that would probably last until late afternoon. Problem was I didn’t want to get out of bed-highly unusual for me, but not entirely rare.
After a few more hours of sleep, JaeJoong prodded me awake again. How he had managed to wake up after only half of his usual sleeping time was a mystery. “C’mon, Yunho, your friends will get mad.”
“I’m the hyung and oppa-they’re not allowed to voice their disapproval,” I mumbled into the pillow.
“Yes, but it’s their mini vacation. They don’t normally come here, so they don’t have the privilege to spend a day being lazy…”
I knew he was right but it was so nice and warm under the blankets. I wasn’t ready to leave heaven just yet.
“You know, so much for four year-olds only needing an early curfew if it’s enforced by their parents. You are almost dead to the world this morning!”
I grunted into my pillow.
“Yunnikins, wake up.” My shoulder was pushed around a few times and a lazy smile snuck onto my face. I was lying on my tummy but apparently not immune to the power my boyfriend held over me.
JaeJoong’s warm body lay down over mine (slightly crushing my windpipe into the mattress in the process, but details, details…) and gently ran his fingers through my hair. It was a small but effective massage suitable for my laziness this morning.
Warm breath coated a patch on my forehead and seconds later soft lips pressed down over that spot. “I want to see my man in action,” he whispered against my skin.
That got my eyes open. “H-Huh? You want to come with us?”
“Of course…”
I pushed myself up quickly. My mind was going into overdrive. A real mixture of excitement and worry occupied my heart. My fun adventures with JaeJoong were always separate in my brain to my real hiking experiences with my other friends and colleagues. The two had never mixed before. My brain had switched from one to the other in the past, but never to both at the same time.
For there to be a chance of showing JaeJoong the kind of things I really did… It made my heart thrum with excitement. But I felt uncertain at the same time-the kind of hikes I did with my friends were very tough and advanced; I couldn’t see how JaeJoong would be able to cope with it. They were physically demanding. Add on top of that JaeJoong’s past history with his brother’s death at a similar cliffy terrain and the idea of JaeJoong joining us today had ‘disastrous’ written all over it.
Denying him the chance to join us though would make me a hypocrite. It would make every word of encouragement I’d given to him about the importance of living life and taking risks a complete farce.
This was too much to think through after only four hours of sleep…
JaeJoong was watching me though, and probably reading every change of expression on my face. And from the looks of things, I’d only been too obvious.
“You…don’t want me to come…”
“N-No, no!” I sat up straighter. I could really use a Red Bull right about now. A caffeine hit would be a great ally. “I-It’s not that! It’s not a friend segregation kind of thing. It’s just that our hikes are always a bit physically demanding.”
“Okay…”
Oh, no, no, no! He was looking completely despondent. It was breaking my heart. I was getting flashbacks from when I was in my last year of primary school and my sister was crying next to me in the boys’ self-claimed area of the playground because she had wanted to play with some girls and been rejected.
She had risked getting teased by all the boys as she crossed into our territory to find me and cry all of her hurt out by my side. That day I had let her play with us-the big boys-much to the envy of the bitchy little classmates in her grade.
She had come to me, her protective big brother, for comfort and care. I hadn’t let her down then and I wasn’t about to let JaeJoong down now either.
I especially refused to be the bitchy ringleader who thought he had enough rights and power to dictate whether or not a sweet kid could play with his gang or not. I was not a bully-either passively or physically. If JaeJoong wanted to come with us, we’d just have to suck it up and accommodate his needs. End of story.
“JaeJoongie…” I moved over to him, grasped either side of his head and pulled him towards me. I gave him a big, sloppy kiss on his lips. “You are more than welcome to come with us if you really want to. It’s just…” I paused to chuckle, “the three of us tend to get carried away a lot. And I know you well, Kim JaeJoong. You wouldn’t let out a peep of complaint if you were feeling discomfort in case it annoyed us or became a burden to us.” I tapped his nose with my forefinger, affectionately. “But that’s not gonna do. If you feel tired or need to take a quick break or need to slow your pace down, you have to let me know. Enough of your silent suffering, you understand?”
JaeJoong nodded.
I could rest easy-he looked much happier. I knew that despite his nod he wouldn’t do what he’d just promised me though. JaeJoongie was shy and self-conscious, stuck with a group of loud idiots he didn’t know all that well. There was no way he’d actually speak up about any of his discomforts and risk disrupting my gang’s animated chatting and steady pace. I’d have to keep my eye on him.
True to my prediction, when we all went hiking together JaeJoong pushed himself without a word of complaint. I had to suggest breaks for myself occasionally just so JaeJoong wouldn’t expire. But I was so proud of him. He rarely fell too far behind and even joined in our conversations sometimes-particularly when Eunbi was talking to him. She took a real liking to JaeJoong and even ditched Junsu to keep JaeJoong company behind us whenever I was distracted. I suppose she found JaeJoong’s shyness endearing and pampered him like a mother hen.
There was one point in our hike when we had to climb over a huge rock. The gentleman and worrywart that Junsu was led him to reach out for Eunbi to help guide her over the great height in case she slipped. I tried to do the same for JaeJoong but he refused to accept any help. I could tell he was nervous but he still slowly and carefully pulled himself up bit by bit. I felt like a new father watching his precious son try and take his first few wobbly steps, feeling excited and proud on the one hand, but poised to dial an emergency number in case something went wrong. So maybe I was a little overprotective… At least I knew I shouldn’t have been. I could see that (despite sleeping on it) JaeJoong really was determined to fight the fear that constantly ate at him from inside. I had nothing but admiration for him for that.
“Just leave him be,” Eunbi had whispered into my ear. She must have noticed my proud but concerned daddy face. “I think he wants to prove himself to you. And challenge himself too.”
“What do you mean?”
To that she had giggled. “You couldn’t see it coz you were too busy leading the pack with Junsu, but whenever we did some hard climbs I kept seeing JaeJoong look at you like you were the coolest person on the planet. And he’s wrong by the way, coz you’re so not,” she added cheekily.
“Oi, oi…” I had said in complaint but her little teasing had barely left an impression on me. I was too busy feeling deliriously happy that Eunbi had caught JaeJoong looking at me like that.
I’d completely soiled my reputation after falling onto my ass so many times the night before, but JaeJoong still thought I was cool. I was a very easy guy to please.
Even after that conversation (or maybe because of it) I found that the many hours spent hiking with my closest friends on Sunday trumped all the other past experiences-and those had been pretty hard to top. If our make it up as we go along trail hadn’t needed all of our balance and concentration I would have tried holding onto JaeJoong’s hand for sure.
The time we stopped to take in the stunning view of the valleys and ocean, I couldn’t take it anymore and went to hug JaeJoong from behind. There’s always something spiritual about seeing beautiful views from high up. Seeing them with the person you love most in the world by your side was probably one of the best gifts you could ever get. And the best gifts are always the ones that you can’t put money on.
On the way back from our hike we parted ways with Junsu and Eunbi so that each couple could have some down time together in town.
Despite still being winter, the sun had started to shine down quite heavily on our hike. The wind had kept us cool at the peak but once we had started descending back towards town we had gotten a bit sweaty. JaeJoong had hiked like a champ today and anyone would have been able to tell from just looking at him. My baby was probably the sweatiest out of all of us. He’d definitely earned first go in the shower when we got home.
Whilst he was freshening up, I loaded my laptop up and started downloading all the photos we had taken today. I had managed to look at each one of them properly by the time JaeJoong emerged from the bathroom. He had already hopped straight into bed when I finally turned away from the screen.
“Having a nap?” I grinned.
“Absolutely…” He looked so adorable completely hidden away under the blanket with only his head popping out.
I reluctantly left my sleeping turtle to have my own shower before I lost control and jumped onto him and disturbed his hard-earned nap.
When I finished washing myself he was still fast asleep. It looked like it was just me and my laptop for a while. I slipped back into the seat and went through my photos again. I wanted one to be my new wallpaper but there were too many choices. There were some great scenery shots, but there were also great people shots-Junsu hugging a tree; Eunbi and JaeJoong laughing together; Junsu and I trying to hold up part of the mountain as if we could actually lift huge rocks over our heads; an innocent shot of JaeJoong standing with me at one of the views… And we had a winner! Gorgeous scenery, gorgeous couple, Junsu not in the photo anywhere to ruin it with his face-it was perfect for my laptop. Besides, it was one of the rare photos JaeJoong let me take with him. It was 100% JaeJoong approved, so I wouldn’t have to feel guilty if I made it my wallpaper.
I turned around with a smile to look at the real thing and found him awake. He’d just woken up by the looks of things and was still yawning cutely. His arm slipped out from under the bedcover to cover his mouth up in belated politeness. He looked innocent enough but for some reason I felt like something wasn’t right.
It took me a moment to figure it out. Something was strange. He’d gone to take his nap without a shirt on. His turtle act earlier had hidden that fact from me but now a long vertical strip of bare skin peeped out from the cover.
Channeling Eunbi, I frowned and swiveled the whole way around in my chair. “JaeJoongie, it’s winter. You shouldn’t sleep without a shirt on.”
He looked up at me and blushed a little. “The shower was hot…”
“Doesn’t matter. Your body temperature lowers when you sleep. Go grab a shirt before you freeze.”
“I c-can’t.” He blushed some more.
“Why not?” I peered quizzically at him. He made no move to answer and it finally hit me. Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph, my boyfriend was naked!
I looked away almost instantly, feeling my own cheeks burst into flame.
“I-I wanted to try sleeping without my clothes on,” he mumbled. “I’ve never done it before and it seemed fun.”
“Seemed fun…” I repeated faintly and summoned the nerve to glance at him again. “It’s winter, JaeJoongie, winter. Nude sleeping is a summer sport.”
He frowned. “No, it’s fine. It’s quite warm under here.”
Oh, he did not just say that! And so innocently. I could feel even the skin of my neck heating up to match my cheeks.
”It’s better than I realized,” he continued. “I feel so free.”
Oh, JaeJoong, please stop talking…
“And I really like how much softer the sheets feel when there’s nothing else covering up my skin. Have you ever slept like this?”
“I have.”
“It’s good, right?”
I nodded, trying to keep my mind blank. I was doing a good job at it too until he shifted around a bit too much and the covers slipped a little further down. Right now I felt like superman running into some kryptonite.
The second I saw some nipple peek through, reality crashed back into me. I rushed over to draw the curtains.
“What are you doing?” I heard JaeJoong call out.
“As long as you are naked in bed the curtains are staying closed!”
“Why? If the curtains are drawn that means I’m back to being repressed. I’m not really free.”
“No clothes, no window.”
JaeJoong stared at me with raised eyebrows. “Isn’t that a bit extreme?”
The guy lying with no clothes on in winter was judging me? I crossed my arms over my chest and took his gaze head on.
Okay, so maybe deep down I knew I was being a little ridiculous-it wasn’t as if anyone would really be able to peek inside the bedroom window at my man (maybe a few birds), but I refused to back down.
JaeJoong let out a long sigh and slid back to a lying position. I came and sat beside him over the bedcover.
“Aren’t you tired at all?” he asked.
“Not really. I had some good breaks during the hike.” I reached out to gently stroke his cheeks and play with his hair in what I hoped was a soothing motion. “Did you enjoy today?”
“Yep. Thanks for letting me come.”
I swatted his words away with a pfft. “I really liked having you there with us. You were really good at it.”
My eyes strayed over to the lump of his body hidden under the blankets. It looked so normal and innocent but…he was naked under there! It was virtually impossible to keep up any coherent thought for too long. To put it simply: my mind was going nuts. I was starting to feel a bit clammy too.
I mean, they were just sheets. It would be really easy to just pull them down. I’d be able to see everything. His milky skin would fill my vision. That would be the end of that. It was all too easy to do. But I couldn’t just suddenly expose him like that. That would not be gentlemanlike at all.
JaeJoong spoke up again whilst I was halfway through mentally tying my hands behind my back. “I really liked being there with you too. If the future allows it, I want to do it again.”
”Sure,” I nodded.
“I want to discover new places with you.”
I smiled. “Yeah… That would be cool. It’s still my dream-to find new places and explore them in depth. But that’s if there are even any new places left to uncover by the time I get that opportunity,” I chuckled.
“I can think of one.”
“Oh?” That made one of us then. What place did he know of that I didn’t?
“I-It’s the only place we have where no one else can go but us. It’s the only place no one has ever seen before…” He avoided my gaze as he spoke. I watched as a faint pink tinge spread over his cheeks. Suddenly I understood his comment.
My heart hammered away-I’d lost control of it the second his cheeks had heated up-and I could have sworn I even lost a bit of vision for a second.
His eyes looked back into mine. “Do you want to go there with me?”
At that moment, I couldn’t have looked away from him even if I tried.
CLICK FOR LAST SECTION OF THIS CHAP!!
Quick midway A/N: Sorry to interrupt. About that weird playground equipment I was trying to describe at the beginning of this 23B post… It’s a really old-school type of play equipment and I still see it around in old parks in my country. It’s probably not a Korean thing, but I think I’ve got some points left on my creative license. LOL!
I tried to draw it from memory in case I totally described it crap. Dunno why I drew it… but here it is anyway!
LMAO I am such a Picasso, ne? XD