fed up and finished.
okay. im finished with my stupid denial. yeah. i liked derek. okay, its out. so there. and he made me believe once that he liked me too.
it pisses me off because i wasnt expecting a relationship or anything, but it hurts anyways. i saw him walking with haley, whom i have no hard feeling against, and was like, "hey, that could have been me." its depressing. and its not even that i want him anymore... or maybe im just in denial again.
the point is that its just stupid. relationships, that is.
they just make you want to laugh and cry at once.
so now do i laugh or cry? laugh at myself about this whole thing that probably doesnt exist? maybe im being paranoid...
i could always cry, but what about? its not like i was in love with him or anything. it was just a crush.
so why do i get really sad when i see him, yet really happy too?
sorry guys, this is actually my first journal when ive let it out. here are audras screwy emotions. trample them.
it pisses me off because i wasnt expecting a relationship or anything, but it hurts anyways. i saw him walking with haley, whom i have no hard feeling against, and was like, "hey, that could have been me." its depressing. and its not even that i want him anymore... or maybe im just in denial again.
the point is that its just stupid. relationships, that is.
they just make you want to laugh and cry at once.
so now do i laugh or cry? laugh at myself about this whole thing that probably doesnt exist? maybe im being paranoid...
i could always cry, but what about? its not like i was in love with him or anything. it was just a crush.
so why do i get really sad when i see him, yet really happy too?
sorry guys, this is actually my first journal when ive let it out. here are audras screwy emotions. trample them.