oh life...
I am pulled in a thousand different directions at once.
In the foreground of my mind is trick riding- riding in a show like the one the troupe puts on, or Cavalia or Arabian Nights or something. By now its pretty obvious Olissio isn't going to take the time to teach me. If I want to make it happen, I'll have to get a job at Dixie Stampede or Arabian Nights to get my foot in the door. It really sucks the gig in Wisconsin fell through, but on the other hand, its really great it did. Here's why-
When my job in Wisconsin fell through, I worked as a sea kayaking guide instead. I got in touch with my wild side, embodied my own ideal of womanhood. a wilder, rougher version, my own version. That, and that job got me the job in the United Arab Emirates, a place I never thought I would ever see. It actually felt like home for a while. And now, they want me to go back, for 6 months. And I have to decide whether to commit or not by the end of May. holy god. I'm freaking out a little bit.
And then, when I poke around on Etsy doing a little shopping, I remember my dream of owning my own real, non-virtual shop. Where I would have stability and steady income and a gym membership. but there's always time for that when my body can't handle the rigor of outdoor guiding or my wrinkles show too much to be in a show.
And then there's the whole issue of physical therapy and getting over this huge elephant in the room. I just hate trying to fix it. its extremely unpleasant. And if I don't fix it soon, I don't know what I'll do.
this is just so frustrating.
In the foreground of my mind is trick riding- riding in a show like the one the troupe puts on, or Cavalia or Arabian Nights or something. By now its pretty obvious Olissio isn't going to take the time to teach me. If I want to make it happen, I'll have to get a job at Dixie Stampede or Arabian Nights to get my foot in the door. It really sucks the gig in Wisconsin fell through, but on the other hand, its really great it did. Here's why-
When my job in Wisconsin fell through, I worked as a sea kayaking guide instead. I got in touch with my wild side, embodied my own ideal of womanhood. a wilder, rougher version, my own version. That, and that job got me the job in the United Arab Emirates, a place I never thought I would ever see. It actually felt like home for a while. And now, they want me to go back, for 6 months. And I have to decide whether to commit or not by the end of May. holy god. I'm freaking out a little bit.
And then, when I poke around on Etsy doing a little shopping, I remember my dream of owning my own real, non-virtual shop. Where I would have stability and steady income and a gym membership. but there's always time for that when my body can't handle the rigor of outdoor guiding or my wrinkles show too much to be in a show.
And then there's the whole issue of physical therapy and getting over this huge elephant in the room. I just hate trying to fix it. its extremely unpleasant. And if I don't fix it soon, I don't know what I'll do.
this is just so frustrating.