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[wild_musings]

Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue

Comments

[anonymous]

there's a guy at my church and he recently told everyone he's been cutting for like 3 years and he's suicidal. he has been to the ER twice for trying to kill himself and to a mental institute. he's been on meds since before christmas so they help him think happy thoughts and stuff, but he's becoming dependent on those to survive. i made him a mix cd awhile back with hope songs, songs with lyrics that make him realize that life is so worth living.

anyways, he just recently asked me to be more than friends with him. and i really do NOT like him like that. at all. not even remotely. i just really want to see him better. i almost want to tell him that i'm sort of seeing someone else, even though i'm not. i mean HE'S FREAKING SUICIDAL! i'm scared to say that i don't like him because idk. if he decides to try to kill himself i'll feel like it's all my fault, which is totally irrational, right? ugh. but what i'm really afraid of is that if i say no, what other chance with a boy am i going to get in life? i mean, i'm not pretty, skinny, attractive, so i really don't know what he sees in me. but he sees something. and that scares me even more than saying no.

[anonymous]

That happened to me once, but it was with a long-term friend with whom I was very close. I'd cry myself to sleep every night because I didn't understand why a nice guy like that couldn't be happy. He'd tell me that the only thing that kept him from killing himself was that I was his friend, his only friend, his best friend, and that if it ever ended he'd die.

It took me a long time to recognize that as abuse.

Today, I don't know if he's alive or dead.

In your case, I'd tell you not to go out with him. Even if it seems like he's the victim, he's trapping you through your own guilt. And (I'm kind of glad this is anon because what I'm going to say sound mean, even though I don't mean it to be; keep in mind that I don't know who you are, so I have no idea what you're like) mostly likely what he sees in you is someone who's kind to him in a world of people that aren't. It's easy to mistake that for love, especially when you're desperate. He doesn't necessarily see the good in you, only the good that you give him. Again, you're getting used for his gain. It's not fair to you.