You made me smile today with your insights. I think it is just more difficult for superficial people with stars in their eyes to get over the facades.
My spectacular is someone else's average. Trust me there. It's odd that no matter what you look like on the outside, it takes one person out there to believe in you with all their sincerity to turn everything on it's side. I am consistently amazed by someone due to their beautiful smile with thought behind it instead of how "built" they are or how great they look dressed or undressed. It takes people with some real life experience to have depth and appreciation for real people. All you'll need is one person (hey, maybe two if that is your thing... ;-))
You respect them and admire them and then everything on the "outside" of the circuit you have created matters less, insults bear less of an impact or may even flip flop with the compliments as being less believable, puts you on another level entirely because ONE important person know the secret and everyone else can take off like the hosers they are. Once you have been "discovered" you're less self-concerned and you become a better friend in a different way too. All that time and energy you may have spent on wondering and trying to be what everyone else may want you to be for them gets reallocated to just being.
I think this is just one of those times when I know myself and no one knows my core as well as I do and it frustrates me to no end. It's like very few people want to put that sort of time and attention into finding out exactly who the other person is through interaction just for the sake of this, rather than interaction so they can "get" something from you. I am very sensitive to realizing when someone comes along and they are hoping that they can cram me into their hopes, wishes, and perceptions of WHO THEY WOULD LIKE TO BE WITH until they fell dead. You cannot *make* someone love you or make yourself love someone. It sucks for everyone though the other party may not realize it. Why go for the hollow victory? It's the kind of weight I do not want on my shoulders: living up to someone else's expectations that way. I should be exceeding their expectations in unexpected ways if I want to start a love bond with someone. That sets a good tone for me.
Just continue to *be* and someone will recognize what you are when you are not even trying, just expressing.
You made me smile today with your insights.
I think it is just more difficult for superficial people with stars in their eyes to get over the facades.
My spectacular is someone else's average. Trust me there. It's odd that no matter what you look like on the outside, it takes one person out there to believe in you with all their sincerity to turn everything on it's side. I am consistently amazed by someone due to their beautiful smile with thought behind it instead of how "built" they are or how great they look dressed or undressed. It takes people with some real life experience to have depth and appreciation for real people. All you'll need is one person (hey, maybe two if that is your thing... ;-))
You respect them and admire them and then everything on the "outside" of the circuit you have created matters less, insults bear less of an impact or may even flip flop with the compliments as being less believable, puts you on another level entirely because ONE important person know the secret and everyone else can take off like the hosers they are. Once you have been "discovered" you're less self-concerned and you become a better friend in a different way too. All that time and energy you may have spent on wondering and trying to be what everyone else may want you to be for them gets reallocated to just being.
I think this is just one of those times when I know myself and no one knows my core as well as I do and it frustrates me to no end. It's like very few people want to put that sort of time and attention into finding out exactly who the other person is through interaction just for the sake of this, rather than interaction so they can "get" something from you. I am very sensitive to realizing when someone comes along and they are hoping that they can cram me into their hopes, wishes, and perceptions of WHO THEY WOULD LIKE TO BE WITH until they fell dead. You cannot *make* someone love you or make yourself love someone. It sucks for everyone though the other party may not realize it. Why go for the hollow victory? It's the kind of weight I do not want on my shoulders: living up to someone else's expectations that way. I should be exceeding their expectations in unexpected ways if I want to start a love bond with someone. That sets a good tone for me.
Just continue to *be* and someone will recognize what you are when you are not even trying, just expressing.
Thanks again.
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