Actually Sitting With A Smile On My Face
So today was a really good day. First of Mikka had a interview first thing this morning and for once she didnt just clam up. She said that she did really go and was herself in the interview. So it looks halfway good for her. They said that they were interviewing a few people for the two jobs they will have becoming avaliable. So I'm happy for her. Plus she had a few minutes to herself today since granny had colt and Brad had Gracin.
On to me. Well Bobby came and saw me today like he said that he would and that made me very happy. He brought me a T-shirt and made sure that it smelled like him, by wearing it again before he got there. We had lunch actually we had a very long lunch I went on break at 2:07 and didnt get back until 3:23, I personally thought that it was funny. I wasnt going to rush our lunch at all and I took my time with it. Its not like I was going to have anything to really do when I got back anyway. So we went and ate, and we talked. Boy did we talk. I gave him the list "of DEMANDS" and he read it. He said he wanted to keep the paper incase he forgets what he needs to do to keep me happy. I thought that, that was sweet. So we talked and were for the most part very civil to each other. I said somethings that I had to get off my chest and so did he. It felt good to be able to talk and not cry whenever he looks at me. It was hard at some points but I did pull through. We talked about how he is planning on getting things straight and getting out on his own. For the most part his plan sounds really good. There are still some points that need to be worked out, but thats to be expected when your just learning on how to be on your own. Hes got the saving money to get the apartment down its the monthly payments that are not figured out just yet, but I have faith that he will get there. He looked really sleepy and he ate like he hadnt in days. I dont know if thats the case but I am worried about him. Talking to him on the phone is going to not be the strong point in this point of the relationship. I am going to have to see him to get some words and time out of him. At this point of the night I refuse to let anything make my day bad. When we got back from luch he ended up staying there with me until close like I said its not like I was going to be doing anything. He hugged me like 20 times and these were those long deep hugs. When we first got back and I went to the back of the studio and was putting my purse away. He came up behind me and started rubbing my back and massaging my back it felt so good to have his hands on my skin I was about to melt under them. He flipped me around and kissed me so deeply that my knees started to shake. I havent felt that way is such a long time I forgot how he used to make me feel. When we first started out that was how I felt about everything that he did. I mean to be honest the little bit of time in the back of the studio made me so wet it was crazy as hell. I stood there in utter shock when he was kissing me and holding my face and started to feel the old tingly feeling all over my body I had to stop him before it went to far. He talked about taking it back to the old times in the car, I dont think I can really go through the car again so I'm thinking that I am going to try and get a hotel room atleast once a month either when we both dont have to work or when we have to go in late the next day. I am starting to think that maybe this break is going to be a good thing for us, I mean in just less than a week I understand that some of the things that I put him through was really just mean. I know I made him jump through some really big hoops while he was here and for that I am sorry. I appriecate him so much more, and its only been 5 days. I see him from a diffrent perspective right now and I think that I needed a reality check. Trust me when I say that I miss the shit out of him and yes I am still mad that he left but its starting to get a little bit better. Well that being said I am going to try and get some sleep, hopefully with the addition of his T-shirt, that BTW smells so good, to the pillows I can trick my mind into being peaceful. Well wish me luck NIGHT.
On to me. Well Bobby came and saw me today like he said that he would and that made me very happy. He brought me a T-shirt and made sure that it smelled like him, by wearing it again before he got there. We had lunch actually we had a very long lunch I went on break at 2:07 and didnt get back until 3:23, I personally thought that it was funny. I wasnt going to rush our lunch at all and I took my time with it. Its not like I was going to have anything to really do when I got back anyway. So we went and ate, and we talked. Boy did we talk. I gave him the list "of DEMANDS" and he read it. He said he wanted to keep the paper incase he forgets what he needs to do to keep me happy. I thought that, that was sweet. So we talked and were for the most part very civil to each other. I said somethings that I had to get off my chest and so did he. It felt good to be able to talk and not cry whenever he looks at me. It was hard at some points but I did pull through. We talked about how he is planning on getting things straight and getting out on his own. For the most part his plan sounds really good. There are still some points that need to be worked out, but thats to be expected when your just learning on how to be on your own. Hes got the saving money to get the apartment down its the monthly payments that are not figured out just yet, but I have faith that he will get there. He looked really sleepy and he ate like he hadnt in days. I dont know if thats the case but I am worried about him. Talking to him on the phone is going to not be the strong point in this point of the relationship. I am going to have to see him to get some words and time out of him. At this point of the night I refuse to let anything make my day bad. When we got back from luch he ended up staying there with me until close like I said its not like I was going to be doing anything. He hugged me like 20 times and these were those long deep hugs. When we first got back and I went to the back of the studio and was putting my purse away. He came up behind me and started rubbing my back and massaging my back it felt so good to have his hands on my skin I was about to melt under them. He flipped me around and kissed me so deeply that my knees started to shake. I havent felt that way is such a long time I forgot how he used to make me feel. When we first started out that was how I felt about everything that he did. I mean to be honest the little bit of time in the back of the studio made me so wet it was crazy as hell. I stood there in utter shock when he was kissing me and holding my face and started to feel the old tingly feeling all over my body I had to stop him before it went to far. He talked about taking it back to the old times in the car, I dont think I can really go through the car again so I'm thinking that I am going to try and get a hotel room atleast once a month either when we both dont have to work or when we have to go in late the next day. I am starting to think that maybe this break is going to be a good thing for us, I mean in just less than a week I understand that some of the things that I put him through was really just mean. I know I made him jump through some really big hoops while he was here and for that I am sorry. I appriecate him so much more, and its only been 5 days. I see him from a diffrent perspective right now and I think that I needed a reality check. Trust me when I say that I miss the shit out of him and yes I am still mad that he left but its starting to get a little bit better. Well that being said I am going to try and get some sleep, hopefully with the addition of his T-shirt, that BTW smells so good, to the pillows I can trick my mind into being peaceful. Well wish me luck NIGHT.