The devil's dictionary
EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
An English sea-captain being asked if he had read "The Exile of Erin," replied: "No, sir, but I should like to anchor on it." Years afterwards, when he had been hanged as a pirate after a career of unparalleled atrocities, the following memorandum was found in the ship's log that he had kept at the time of his reply:
Aug. 3d, 1842. Made a joke on the ex-Isle of Erin. Coldly received. War with the whole world!
This devil's dictionary has a bunch of awesome entries, but that one was the weirdest so far so I decided it must go up. It is a joke dictionary from 1911. http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext97/dvldc10.txt
Some more entries. . .
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
BELLADONNA, n. In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two
tongues.
ELYSIUM, n. An imaginary delightful country which the ancients foolishly believed to be inhabited by the spirits of the good. This ridiculous and mischievous fable was swept off the face of the earth by the early Christians -- may their souls be happy in Heaven!
An English sea-captain being asked if he had read "The Exile of Erin," replied: "No, sir, but I should like to anchor on it." Years afterwards, when he had been hanged as a pirate after a career of unparalleled atrocities, the following memorandum was found in the ship's log that he had kept at the time of his reply:
Aug. 3d, 1842. Made a joke on the ex-Isle of Erin. Coldly received. War with the whole world!
This devil's dictionary has a bunch of awesome entries, but that one was the weirdest so far so I decided it must go up. It is a joke dictionary from 1911. http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext97/dvldc10.txt
Some more entries. . .
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
BELLADONNA, n. In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two
tongues.
ELYSIUM, n. An imaginary delightful country which the ancients foolishly believed to be inhabited by the spirits of the good. This ridiculous and mischievous fable was swept off the face of the earth by the early Christians -- may their souls be happy in Heaven!