(no subject)
my first tour went alright. i had a group of high school kids who looked to be in about grade nine, many of whom unnerved me by looking very disinterested. my reaction to this was to become defensive and colder, while at the same time trying to be as interesting and ethusiastic as possible. i find that to be overly enthusiastic makes it less interesting though because it's unnatural. and then every so often i have this moment of doubt and i internally regain my footing. it was good overall i guess. some kids kept their eyes on me the whole time, and i got several questions, which is always a good sign. it's quite difficult though. after the first ten minutes i found myself trying not to show that i was shaking, and slightly wondering if i'd even be able to keep going. i'd keep worrying about the fact that some of them looked bored, and thinking i was not doing something right. now, i both look forward to and dread my next tour - tomorrow at nine am. with time, i can only get more comfortable and relaxed and assertive.
for about the past five nights i have dreamt that i am studying for an exam. usually it is at the last minute and it seriously looks like i'm going to fail the exam. the dream always ends before the beginning of the exam. it seems to be an exam with a different subject every night. one night i was studying at the last minute, in the ottawa public library, for a calculus course which i hadn't attended or studied for throughout the entire year (no, i don't take calculus - but i am thinking about it for next year for my distribution credit). these exam dreams are odd for two reasons. first, my exams finished a week ago. secondly, i almost never dream about school. maybe i can't let go of the stress or perhaps thrill of exams and school.
for about the past five nights i have dreamt that i am studying for an exam. usually it is at the last minute and it seriously looks like i'm going to fail the exam. the dream always ends before the beginning of the exam. it seems to be an exam with a different subject every night. one night i was studying at the last minute, in the ottawa public library, for a calculus course which i hadn't attended or studied for throughout the entire year (no, i don't take calculus - but i am thinking about it for next year for my distribution credit). these exam dreams are odd for two reasons. first, my exams finished a week ago. secondly, i almost never dream about school. maybe i can't let go of the stress or perhaps thrill of exams and school.