Been away
I've not really felt like posting for a while, and I don't expect it to change. I'm not really feeling the live journal vibe, and at this point I don't think that there are a lot of people who would really notice if I post or don't post anything. I've still got the same Icon on my main page that people were kind of skeptical of in the first place, and it's still just about my favorite piece of PSP artwork I've ever done(which is ironic since I created it by simulating PSP effects by running an image through a half dozen different seperate filters to create an estimation of what I wanted to do). I wouldn't be posting now, but I actually have something to say that is profound to me. Probably slightly rude at parts too, but then I've never been good at being rude, so I'll probably just edit out anything I don't like...
Being a former part of an E-community is wierd. I was just sitting around yesterday when it occured to me to wonder what all of these people who I used to get daily updates on are up to. I certainly don't have the time to thoroughly check up on everything, and so I'm sitting here sifting through the most recent posts to make sure that everybody's holding up ok. I find myself smiling hearing that someone I never really got along with(but ultimately do appreaciate) is doing better, only to tear up reading a more recent post that he's in decline. There are people who I blame for stuff that's happened to me unjustly, and people who I legitimately think went out of their way to create difficulties. The pain from realizing that my feelings toward someone has changed for better or worse is something that I don't like facing particularly, and when I suddenly find myself confronted with a whole page of people who I feel differently about, it's hard to muster the effort to face that maybe I can't really consider myself a part of this community that used to be what got me through day to day(not in a literal sence, mind you. I look at my situation, and for the most place I was pretty stable... except for hitting that locker. Sorry SWR, but I guess Lori and I had issues from the begining that bugged me on some level. I hope that didn't negatively effect your opinion of me, and I'm pretty sure that it didn't since you've always been pretty cool about everything and all, so I guess that's that.). I'm not trying to be dramtic about leaving, and technically, I'm sure I'm too late for that to be even a remote possibility, but it's more like I am making a post saying that I think about you guys sometimes, and want to know how you're doing, and sometimes I read posts, but not often. This probably won't change, and just because I'm not sitting here making posts, doesn't mean I don't care or am trying to be rude. I could say something stupid like "I've outgrown..." this or that, but, like I say, it's stupid. Ultimately, I've outgrown nothing, I'm just in a situation where I'm not around enough to consider myself part of this e-community anymore.
All of that said, I do still think of you, and I think it'd be insane to leave in a huff or anything. Hope all is well, and I'll be around, however infrequently. Hope I'm not sending a creepy stalker vibe out here, but technically "lurker" is a better description.
Anyway, off to do laundry and think about comic books
-J
P.S. SHIT! I almost forgot, since it has nothing to do with the post, but I am developing an idea for comic based on a robotic samurai... it's kinda dorky in the sense that I combined two sort of geek fascinations of mine, but the design is solid, and it's got some tangible elements. Not exactly the second coming of Sponky Wilbean, but it's definitely a wierd thing that I'm up to right now. When I'm happier with the sketches, I'll have to work on posting a pic or something. Other than that, nothing much going on. I could go on about kids(they rock!), but I don't feel I'm in the right frame of mind right now to do that.
Being a former part of an E-community is wierd. I was just sitting around yesterday when it occured to me to wonder what all of these people who I used to get daily updates on are up to. I certainly don't have the time to thoroughly check up on everything, and so I'm sitting here sifting through the most recent posts to make sure that everybody's holding up ok. I find myself smiling hearing that someone I never really got along with(but ultimately do appreaciate) is doing better, only to tear up reading a more recent post that he's in decline. There are people who I blame for stuff that's happened to me unjustly, and people who I legitimately think went out of their way to create difficulties. The pain from realizing that my feelings toward someone has changed for better or worse is something that I don't like facing particularly, and when I suddenly find myself confronted with a whole page of people who I feel differently about, it's hard to muster the effort to face that maybe I can't really consider myself a part of this community that used to be what got me through day to day(not in a literal sence, mind you. I look at my situation, and for the most place I was pretty stable... except for hitting that locker. Sorry SWR, but I guess Lori and I had issues from the begining that bugged me on some level. I hope that didn't negatively effect your opinion of me, and I'm pretty sure that it didn't since you've always been pretty cool about everything and all, so I guess that's that.). I'm not trying to be dramtic about leaving, and technically, I'm sure I'm too late for that to be even a remote possibility, but it's more like I am making a post saying that I think about you guys sometimes, and want to know how you're doing, and sometimes I read posts, but not often. This probably won't change, and just because I'm not sitting here making posts, doesn't mean I don't care or am trying to be rude. I could say something stupid like "I've outgrown..." this or that, but, like I say, it's stupid. Ultimately, I've outgrown nothing, I'm just in a situation where I'm not around enough to consider myself part of this e-community anymore.
All of that said, I do still think of you, and I think it'd be insane to leave in a huff or anything. Hope all is well, and I'll be around, however infrequently. Hope I'm not sending a creepy stalker vibe out here, but technically "lurker" is a better description.
Anyway, off to do laundry and think about comic books
-J
P.S. SHIT! I almost forgot, since it has nothing to do with the post, but I am developing an idea for comic based on a robotic samurai... it's kinda dorky in the sense that I combined two sort of geek fascinations of mine, but the design is solid, and it's got some tangible elements. Not exactly the second coming of Sponky Wilbean, but it's definitely a wierd thing that I'm up to right now. When I'm happier with the sketches, I'll have to work on posting a pic or something. Other than that, nothing much going on. I could go on about kids(they rock!), but I don't feel I'm in the right frame of mind right now to do that.