Original Story?
I normally don't do this kind of thing, because the last time I did it, it turned into some Mary Sue-fest. The memory is not pleasant.
I've been musing about and outlining an original story I'd like to write. I finally got myself to type the "Preface" today.
I tried really hard not to make it seem ridiculous like other originals I've read, so feedback is what I'm really looking for. It's not even that long, so just take some time to read it.
Last note before I begin- I didn't originally want to do it in first person, because it would be from the perspective of a guy, but this is just how it came out. And I have no idea what the name "Diao" actually means. I didn't want to use that "name" in the first place, but it climbed into my brain through my ear and won't leave. If it turns out to be a Korean cuss word, please tell me.
Untitled
Preface
“Diao.”
All the heads in the room turned when I said the name, everyone waiting anxiously to hear what would be said next.
“Diao?” The hefty investigator sitting across from me asked.
“Diao Lam.”
“Do you realize who Ms. Lam was, boy?”
“I had my suspicions.” I said smugly, thinking about the past.
He only sighed and shook his head at my reaction before stating robotically, “Ms. Lam was one of the most wanted people in the world as of
last year. Armed robbery, identity theft, fraud...but most of all,” he paused and ran his chubby fingers through his hair,
“Murder.”
“I could’ve told you that. She tried to killed me for Christ’s sake.”
The other investigator, a smaller man, came over to my side of the table.
“When was that? When she tried to kill you?”
I smiled, the memory coming to mind like it happened just the other day.
I've been musing about and outlining an original story I'd like to write. I finally got myself to type the "Preface" today.
I tried really hard not to make it seem ridiculous like other originals I've read, so feedback is what I'm really looking for. It's not even that long, so just take some time to read it.
Last note before I begin- I didn't originally want to do it in first person, because it would be from the perspective of a guy, but this is just how it came out. And I have no idea what the name "Diao" actually means. I didn't want to use that "name" in the first place, but it climbed into my brain through my ear and won't leave. If it turns out to be a Korean cuss word, please tell me.
Untitled
Preface
“Diao.”
All the heads in the room turned when I said the name, everyone waiting anxiously to hear what would be said next.
“Diao?” The hefty investigator sitting across from me asked.
“Diao Lam.”
“Do you realize who Ms. Lam was, boy?”
“I had my suspicions.” I said smugly, thinking about the past.
He only sighed and shook his head at my reaction before stating robotically, “Ms. Lam was one of the most wanted people in the world as of
last year. Armed robbery, identity theft, fraud...but most of all,” he paused and ran his chubby fingers through his hair,
“Murder.”
“I could’ve told you that. She tried to killed me for Christ’s sake.”
The other investigator, a smaller man, came over to my side of the table.
“When was that? When she tried to kill you?”
I smiled, the memory coming to mind like it happened just the other day.