Sins of the father?

[wigetz]

So this is going to be a rather serious post...ignore it if you wish...
How beholden are we to the "Sins of the Father"? I ask this to myself sometimes, since, I often times find myself with an underlying...anymosity...let's say...for my dad. Not that he was ever horrible or unloving. Just difficult, when we were young. And I still, I guess, haven't

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Re: <-- preachy panda

[wigetz]

I agree with you. I do. I would be upset if my parents didn't have expectations for me. But there is a point where the expectations can become burdens to uphold.

My parents have high expectations for me, and have instilled in me high expectations of my own. And, every day I feel I haven't met them, I feel like I am failing alittle more.

It's not that I live for my parents, persay, but I do feel a certain sense of responsibility to them. And knowing their expecations for me, and the ridgid evaluation they might have for how those things are appropriately achieved, makes it hard to deal with at times. Maybe it is a personal thing...even a cultural thing. I have a great number of asian friends who had parents who set very high expecations, and expressed their displeasure when their weren't met. They might love us unconditionally, but they are also incapable of keeping their opinions and judgements to themselves. Asian guilt exceeds Catholic guilt, christian guilt, whatever guilt you can think of.

Anyways...the fact remains that, while I judge certain things in my life to be necessary, my parents feel differently. And in that difference, their exists a set of unmet expecations. And, because of that, I feel like failure to them. Even if I might not actually have those expectations for my own life. And that is why, perhaps, I feel an anymosity towards them. I am not saying it is right, or even valid, just owning up to the fact that it is there. And knowing that, if I had kids, that I would have high expectations, and would place upon them the same extreme pressure I felt placed upon, makes me worry and wonder and imagine that my kids would likely feel like I do. Because I have friends in similar situations, who are just as frustrated, who have had to deal with the same cliche Asian parent/child conflicts.

But I really appreciate your thoughts. Thanks:)