Fat no more!
I'm starting my weight loss journey again. I feel like I'm starting all over again for the 1st time. I feel like everything I've accomplished before is gone. I lost nearly 200 pounds the 1st time and I can't manage to lose 15 this time. I've gained a quarter of the weight back and that scares the shit out of me, because I never want to be as heavy as I used to be. I'm averaging 10 pounds a month since me and Patrick broke up. Okay, so maybe not that much, but it sure feels like it. I've tried low carbing time and time again since then, but I'll last a week or two at most. This time I need to do it. Summer is just around the corner and what am I supposed to do... wear my sweatshirt all summer to hide how fat I've gotten? My aunt is getting married in 3 weeks and I want to be comfortable at the wedding in my strapless dress. If I gain one more pound the dress is going to burst. I have to do it for myself and for Cameron. How am I supposed to bring him outside in the nice weather and play with him if I get tired just from walking up the stairs? That is awful. Food is an addiction. It's my drug of choice. It's my best friend, yet my worst enemy at the same time. Isn't it weird how almost everyone has an addiction? Whether it be booze, drugs, food or sex. It seems everyone is addicted to something. I'm thankful that my addiction isn't drugs or booze, but food can be just as bad. If you are severly obese it can't be any better than being a drug addict. Either way you are staring death straight in the face. Heart disease runs in my family on my Mother's side. That also scares me. Most of the people who have had heart disease or some sort of artery problem or heart problem or diabetes weren't even fat, so by being fat, I just increase my chances even more of having some sort of problem. That scares the shit out of me. I don't want to die at 40, because I didn't take care of myself.
I started low carbing yesterday. It wasn't even planned. I was going on my 15 at work and I hadn't eaten breakfast and I thought to myself, "I could get pizza and chips, like I usually do, or I could get a packet of tuna with some pumpkin seeds." and I went for the tuna and pumpkin seeds. I've been doing pretty good since. Mostly salad and chicken. Last night I had steak tips and salad. Tonight I had chicken and salad. I'm worried about the weekend though. So Steph, Abbie, or anyone who sees me this weekend, PLEASE yell at me if I try to eat something I shouldn't. I need you guys. Even if you aren't low carbing you're still allowed to kick my ass. :) I can still drink beer though, HEHE, just light beer. I can't give everything I love up. That would just be insanity.
I'm going to pin my size 14's on the wall. This way I'll see them everyday and maybe it'll help me along my way. I miss those jeans so much. I used to get so many compliments about how I looked in those. Until they didn't fit anymore and went below my belly and gave me the worst case of camel toe ever.
I started low carbing yesterday. It wasn't even planned. I was going on my 15 at work and I hadn't eaten breakfast and I thought to myself, "I could get pizza and chips, like I usually do, or I could get a packet of tuna with some pumpkin seeds." and I went for the tuna and pumpkin seeds. I've been doing pretty good since. Mostly salad and chicken. Last night I had steak tips and salad. Tonight I had chicken and salad. I'm worried about the weekend though. So Steph, Abbie, or anyone who sees me this weekend, PLEASE yell at me if I try to eat something I shouldn't. I need you guys. Even if you aren't low carbing you're still allowed to kick my ass. :) I can still drink beer though, HEHE, just light beer. I can't give everything I love up. That would just be insanity.
I'm going to pin my size 14's on the wall. This way I'll see them everyday and maybe it'll help me along my way. I miss those jeans so much. I used to get so many compliments about how I looked in those. Until they didn't fit anymore and went below my belly and gave me the worst case of camel toe ever.