COM 200 - types of love
Sociologist John Alan Lee created a similar scheme that defined six types of love found in both romantic and nonromantic relationships: eros, ludis, storge, mania, pragma, and agape.81 As you read descriptions of these types, see which best describes the types of love you find in your relationships.
Eros is sexual love based on the pursuit of beauty and pleasure. The physical need for sex brings many couples together. Erotic lovers crave sexual intimacy and passionately seek sexual activity to satisfy their need. Sexual attraction brings special needs and emotions to a relationship, sometimes obscuring other concerns. Shakespeare described this phenomenon when he wrote, “But love is blind, and lovers cannot see the petty folly that themselves commit.”
Ludis describes love as a game, something to pass the time. Ludic lovers are not seeking long-term relationships; rather, they seek immediate gratification and to win their partner’s affection. Their goal is to be in love and to enjoy their partner rather than to achieve a sexual victory.
Early dating relationships are often of the ludic type. Going on a date to a junior high dance is a casual pleasure, not a prelude to a lifelong commitment. Ludis lasts as long as the couple has fun and finds the relationship mutually satisfying.
Storge is the sort of love found in most friendships and in relationships with siblings and other family members. Sexual consummation is not a factor in this sort of love, although sexual attraction may be present. A storgic relationship usually develops over a long period of time, and it is solid and more resistant to change than erotic love. Trust, caring, and compassion are high; selfishness is low.
Mania describes a love relationship that swings wildly between extreme highs and lows. A manic lover is obsessed with the relationship with the other person. Each of the lovers may have an insatiable need for attention, often fueled by a low self-concept.
Pragma is the root word for pragmatic. This kind of relationship works because the partners’ personal requirements, personalities, backgrounds, likes, and dislikes are compatible. In some cultures, parents prearrange marriages because of pragmatic concerns, and if the couple is lucky, passion develops later on, as the relationship takes its course.
Agape love is based on a spiritual ideal of love. It involves giving of yourself and expecting nothing in return. This kind of “pure” love may characterize the relationship between a parent and a child, or the relationship between a spiritual leader and his or her followers.
Eros is sexual love based on the pursuit of beauty and pleasure. The physical need for sex brings many couples together. Erotic lovers crave sexual intimacy and passionately seek sexual activity to satisfy their need. Sexual attraction brings special needs and emotions to a relationship, sometimes obscuring other concerns. Shakespeare described this phenomenon when he wrote, “But love is blind, and lovers cannot see the petty folly that themselves commit.”
Ludis describes love as a game, something to pass the time. Ludic lovers are not seeking long-term relationships; rather, they seek immediate gratification and to win their partner’s affection. Their goal is to be in love and to enjoy their partner rather than to achieve a sexual victory.
Early dating relationships are often of the ludic type. Going on a date to a junior high dance is a casual pleasure, not a prelude to a lifelong commitment. Ludis lasts as long as the couple has fun and finds the relationship mutually satisfying.
Storge is the sort of love found in most friendships and in relationships with siblings and other family members. Sexual consummation is not a factor in this sort of love, although sexual attraction may be present. A storgic relationship usually develops over a long period of time, and it is solid and more resistant to change than erotic love. Trust, caring, and compassion are high; selfishness is low.
Mania describes a love relationship that swings wildly between extreme highs and lows. A manic lover is obsessed with the relationship with the other person. Each of the lovers may have an insatiable need for attention, often fueled by a low self-concept.
Pragma is the root word for pragmatic. This kind of relationship works because the partners’ personal requirements, personalities, backgrounds, likes, and dislikes are compatible. In some cultures, parents prearrange marriages because of pragmatic concerns, and if the couple is lucky, passion develops later on, as the relationship takes its course.
Agape love is based on a spiritual ideal of love. It involves giving of yourself and expecting nothing in return. This kind of “pure” love may characterize the relationship between a parent and a child, or the relationship between a spiritual leader and his or her followers.