(no subject)

[widow]

(chilled cardigans, sugar water eyelashes), leaves scattering to one side, away from me, & book pages flipping, everything is like air, and drowned and feels like sad magic is about to happen.
but nothing ever does.
everything is grey like
graves like
sorry doves and the trees look like wretched old blackened fingers,
spiry, breaking through the ground.
i wonder what they want.
what do they think is up there anyway?

so i'm clutching catcher in the rye
pages wet,
we all want to let it all out now
(the sky and i)

tears (and
crystalline sugar)
in my coffee,
tears quite everywhere.

. the faint, fat rain, well it's like god's cries, he lets his sadness fall down,
kisses me.
& i awaken from my snow-white slumber
(Motrin coma)
into grieving.
and yes so he falls down in pure puzzle pieces and kisses me, i wonder
who i can kiss by weeping;

my heart is sinking into my stomach,
they snuggle together by default,
my heart with it's cartoon ♥ s and flowers
and tears
my stomach warm and round like a small cat

it will share it's brunch muffin with the poor heart.
(banana & maple)
they'll cry together and

well, and i feel like i have the emptiest arms in the world.