Revelation.
It wouldn’t be the first time I’d had a “revelation” after an extremely boozy weekend, but this time, I think I’ve really cracked something. After a year of being single, and somewhat involuntary celibate I took someone home, and everything suddenly fitted back into place - so to speak!
The following morning, I asked a good male friend of mine what my next step should be, and this was his answer: “There’s a few options you could choose. 1. Text him, and when he doesn’t reply, text him some more, and frighten him off. 2. Don’t text him, wait for him to text you, then realise you don’t really like him that much. 3. Text him now, declaring your undying love for him, and scare him off. 4. Text me instead, declaring your undying love for me (this would be an option, if he didn’t already have a girlfriend), or 5. Just chill out, send him a text on Monday asking if he wants to go for beers and go from there.”
Obviously option 5 seems like the most sensible suggestion, so why is it I’ve spent around the last 10 years practising options 1 to 4? It really is so simple, and yet it’s taken me until now to actually realise it. Why is this? Unfortunately it’s because I am a fully fledged compulsive over-thinker. I like to think that I’m in control of any given situation, and if that means playing out in my head every single possible scenario to the nth degree, then that’s just what I’ll do! It isn’t until now that I realise every time I practiced options 1 to 4 I was doing exactly the opposite.
I asked another male friend the same morning. He asked me if I liked the guy, to which I answered “I don’t really know him, but I guess I could”. He told me I should wait until 8pm, and then if he hasn’t contacted me, I should contact him, because if I didn’t then he would think I just wanted it to be casual. So now we have another option.
I’ve spent pretty much the last year complaining about being single, and then as per option 2. Arrange a “date” or wait for him to say he likes me, and then completely back off. I’ve been frightened out of dating. When I was younger the most exciting part about it was getting to know them, the start, when everything is electric. Now, it scares me half to death. This weekend though, my mindset completely changed. I’ve proved to myself I can take someone home, have some fun, and just sit back and relax. If he gets in touch? Great. If he doesn’t? So what. I know that from now on, there’s no longer an option 1 to 5. There’s only one option, but I won’t be contacting him come Monday either. If he wants to get in touch, he will, if he doesn’t, he won’t. It really is as simple as that.
The following morning, I asked a good male friend of mine what my next step should be, and this was his answer: “There’s a few options you could choose. 1. Text him, and when he doesn’t reply, text him some more, and frighten him off. 2. Don’t text him, wait for him to text you, then realise you don’t really like him that much. 3. Text him now, declaring your undying love for him, and scare him off. 4. Text me instead, declaring your undying love for me (this would be an option, if he didn’t already have a girlfriend), or 5. Just chill out, send him a text on Monday asking if he wants to go for beers and go from there.”
Obviously option 5 seems like the most sensible suggestion, so why is it I’ve spent around the last 10 years practising options 1 to 4? It really is so simple, and yet it’s taken me until now to actually realise it. Why is this? Unfortunately it’s because I am a fully fledged compulsive over-thinker. I like to think that I’m in control of any given situation, and if that means playing out in my head every single possible scenario to the nth degree, then that’s just what I’ll do! It isn’t until now that I realise every time I practiced options 1 to 4 I was doing exactly the opposite.
I asked another male friend the same morning. He asked me if I liked the guy, to which I answered “I don’t really know him, but I guess I could”. He told me I should wait until 8pm, and then if he hasn’t contacted me, I should contact him, because if I didn’t then he would think I just wanted it to be casual. So now we have another option.
I’ve spent pretty much the last year complaining about being single, and then as per option 2. Arrange a “date” or wait for him to say he likes me, and then completely back off. I’ve been frightened out of dating. When I was younger the most exciting part about it was getting to know them, the start, when everything is electric. Now, it scares me half to death. This weekend though, my mindset completely changed. I’ve proved to myself I can take someone home, have some fun, and just sit back and relax. If he gets in touch? Great. If he doesn’t? So what. I know that from now on, there’s no longer an option 1 to 5. There’s only one option, but I won’t be contacting him come Monday either. If he wants to get in touch, he will, if he doesn’t, he won’t. It really is as simple as that.