Carry you...
Bit of an update really, it's been a while...
So, as most people know, I moved to Newcastle back in August last year. I got my manager job up in Blyth, then in December I was asked to go to South Shields and work there as manager, so I did! I decided last month that as much as I've enjoyed my time up here, it's been a welcome break, I feel I need to get back to Teesside. So I applied for a job at our Darlington Morton Park branch, interviewed, and somehow got it. I was supposed to start back there on 5th May, but due to the assistant manager leaving (tomorrow!) I'm now starting 28th April. I'm glad it's a little sooner, but disappointed because I was looking forward to working with her, and obviously now I'll need to recruit a new one.
I feel that some people will take my return to Teesside as me being quite weak, and coming back, but it's not like that. I miss people. I also feel like I can't really settle here. I knew it wouldn't be forever anyway, it's been good to get away for a little while, as it's made me appreciate what's back home a lot more. I'm going to be going back to my Mam's for a little bit, to get my feet on the ground a little bit, and then hopefully moving to Middlesbrough at some point.
It is true that you only miss what you've gone when it's gone. I miss just being able to meet up for lunch, or to pop round for a brew. Or decide to go on a night out at the last minute. Going to clubs where you can guarantee you'll see people there, not necessarily friends, but acquaintances you have a nice chat to, or a dance with. Up here you don't get that, because I don't really know that many people.
It's brought me a lot of good though. I've developed a lot in my role, which I wouldn't have done if I was still in Teesside, infact I'd probably still be an assistant manager and no further forward. I've developed a lot more independance, and given myself a lot of space to think carefully about what I really want from my life, and what people I want to be involved in it. I've made new friends, and reacquainted myself with old ones I'd lost touch with. Such as Sarah, we only got talking when she asked me if I was Laura in Sumo, and if I was moving to Newcastle because she goes to uni there and doesn't know too many people. We've had some absolutely wicked nights out up here, and I'll miss that, but I'm sure there'll be plenty more in Teesside, especially over the summer! She's become one of my good friends, who I regularly talk to, and could probably tell anything to, and I've never really had any girl friends who were like that.
I've missed Carl, a lot, even though we still see each other, it's not as much as we used to. I miss going round for nights in with booze, being forced to watch the same scrubs 6 times a day, shit tv, football, and lovely playlists. As much as he will cringe at me saying it, this boy is like my soulmate. We have our ups and downs, he gets sick of me frequently, but I think I've realised a lot more about giving people the space that they need at times, and the best of friends will still be there when you need them. It's just so nice being so comfortable with someone. Infact, I've just realised that it's exactly 4 years to the day that we first spent time together.
I'm not looking forward to moving all my stuff back at all, considering I'll be working up here until the 26th, and start at the new shop on 28th. Mind, the rent doesn't run out 'til the end of May, so I suppose a few day trips could be in order on my days off. Just a chew on.
So yes, now you all know what is going on with me, if anyone was bothered.
Wouldn't be the same if I didn't post some soppy lyrics too, years ago I used to set Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness to wake me up every morning before college, and I'd wake up smiling. This song seems to have the same sort of effect, but in a different way. Jimmy Eat World - Carry You.
Love Laura. x
When I know I'm all alone
I say your name slowly
And I know that I'm alone
But I carry you
Does it feel good like the memory
When you try some history
It's a dream to come around
The rule doesn't bend, because the taste doesn't taste the same again
It's easy feeling righteous when removed
All you’ll get is what you wanna hear
It hurts me 'cause it should
How else am I to make it clear?
I could never be the one that you want
Don't ask
Well, heres to living in the moment
'Cause it passed
Maybe a lie is what I need sometimes
You told the most and best of anyone
You said to keep me in your pocket
So I carried you
You better choose your words carefully, because I'm not your anything
I'm gonna to stay here in my place, and you'll stay in yours
Because your only good as what you're good for.
I pace around the room to spend the time
Waiting while the burning pictures fade
One thing to make your mind
And another to say it's name.
I could never be the one that you want
Don't ask
Well, here's to living in the moment
'Cause it passed
I'm still carrying a little hope
That maybe things could be different now.
Is that so wrong?
Would I see you tonight at a place we go?
I wanna make things right before time runs out
(It’s just like you said, the taste don’t taste like it should)
Roll down the windows, let the cold air come in now
Slap my face, just to feel you somehow again
I could never be the one that you want
Don't ask
Well, heres to living in the moment
'Cause it passed
So, as most people know, I moved to Newcastle back in August last year. I got my manager job up in Blyth, then in December I was asked to go to South Shields and work there as manager, so I did! I decided last month that as much as I've enjoyed my time up here, it's been a welcome break, I feel I need to get back to Teesside. So I applied for a job at our Darlington Morton Park branch, interviewed, and somehow got it. I was supposed to start back there on 5th May, but due to the assistant manager leaving (tomorrow!) I'm now starting 28th April. I'm glad it's a little sooner, but disappointed because I was looking forward to working with her, and obviously now I'll need to recruit a new one.
I feel that some people will take my return to Teesside as me being quite weak, and coming back, but it's not like that. I miss people. I also feel like I can't really settle here. I knew it wouldn't be forever anyway, it's been good to get away for a little while, as it's made me appreciate what's back home a lot more. I'm going to be going back to my Mam's for a little bit, to get my feet on the ground a little bit, and then hopefully moving to Middlesbrough at some point.
It is true that you only miss what you've gone when it's gone. I miss just being able to meet up for lunch, or to pop round for a brew. Or decide to go on a night out at the last minute. Going to clubs where you can guarantee you'll see people there, not necessarily friends, but acquaintances you have a nice chat to, or a dance with. Up here you don't get that, because I don't really know that many people.
It's brought me a lot of good though. I've developed a lot in my role, which I wouldn't have done if I was still in Teesside, infact I'd probably still be an assistant manager and no further forward. I've developed a lot more independance, and given myself a lot of space to think carefully about what I really want from my life, and what people I want to be involved in it. I've made new friends, and reacquainted myself with old ones I'd lost touch with. Such as Sarah, we only got talking when she asked me if I was Laura in Sumo, and if I was moving to Newcastle because she goes to uni there and doesn't know too many people. We've had some absolutely wicked nights out up here, and I'll miss that, but I'm sure there'll be plenty more in Teesside, especially over the summer! She's become one of my good friends, who I regularly talk to, and could probably tell anything to, and I've never really had any girl friends who were like that.
I've missed Carl, a lot, even though we still see each other, it's not as much as we used to. I miss going round for nights in with booze, being forced to watch the same scrubs 6 times a day, shit tv, football, and lovely playlists. As much as he will cringe at me saying it, this boy is like my soulmate. We have our ups and downs, he gets sick of me frequently, but I think I've realised a lot more about giving people the space that they need at times, and the best of friends will still be there when you need them. It's just so nice being so comfortable with someone. Infact, I've just realised that it's exactly 4 years to the day that we first spent time together.
I'm not looking forward to moving all my stuff back at all, considering I'll be working up here until the 26th, and start at the new shop on 28th. Mind, the rent doesn't run out 'til the end of May, so I suppose a few day trips could be in order on my days off. Just a chew on.
So yes, now you all know what is going on with me, if anyone was bothered.
Wouldn't be the same if I didn't post some soppy lyrics too, years ago I used to set Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness to wake me up every morning before college, and I'd wake up smiling. This song seems to have the same sort of effect, but in a different way. Jimmy Eat World - Carry You.
Love Laura. x
When I know I'm all alone
I say your name slowly
And I know that I'm alone
But I carry you
Does it feel good like the memory
When you try some history
It's a dream to come around
The rule doesn't bend, because the taste doesn't taste the same again
It's easy feeling righteous when removed
All you’ll get is what you wanna hear
It hurts me 'cause it should
How else am I to make it clear?
I could never be the one that you want
Don't ask
Well, heres to living in the moment
'Cause it passed
Maybe a lie is what I need sometimes
You told the most and best of anyone
You said to keep me in your pocket
So I carried you
You better choose your words carefully, because I'm not your anything
I'm gonna to stay here in my place, and you'll stay in yours
Because your only good as what you're good for.
I pace around the room to spend the time
Waiting while the burning pictures fade
One thing to make your mind
And another to say it's name.
I could never be the one that you want
Don't ask
Well, here's to living in the moment
'Cause it passed
I'm still carrying a little hope
That maybe things could be different now.
Is that so wrong?
Would I see you tonight at a place we go?
I wanna make things right before time runs out
(It’s just like you said, the taste don’t taste like it should)
Roll down the windows, let the cold air come in now
Slap my face, just to feel you somehow again
I could never be the one that you want
Don't ask
Well, heres to living in the moment
'Cause it passed