Reverse Schadenfruede

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I find that other people's happiness tends to magnify my lack of it. I don't wish for anything bad to happen to said people, but it just brings me down and I can't keep pretending like I care sometimes. I feel like my desire to create is the only thing keeping me from totally losing it. Making myself happy by making others happy, I suppose.

Then there's a certain revelation that keeps popping up which I'd much rather suppress with copious amounts of, whatever I'm consuming.

Need more sake.