(no subject)
well it's been a rough week.
and it looks as if another rough week is coming.
So over the course of this week i have:
1. woke up at 5..and watched the sunrise over manhatten from the 30th floor of a building on madison ave ( too bad i was in a dentists chair at the time..so it was a bit tainted)
2. had an anxiety attack/ nervous breakdown. i won't get into detail.
3. returned from a wonderful trip to NH. it was so good to see some familiar family and friends. It was so nice seeing my sister and my mom and dad. i am lucky to have such a loving family. Seeing crit and em was great too. I miss them both so much. UNH was fun..i saw numerous chs people who i would either rather not have seen or just was weirded out about seeing even if they didn't know me. eh. it was a blast anyways.
4. decided that for me to possibly get all my work done for next week, that i must basically not stop working the entire weekend except maybe to sleep.
today seems to be looking up. I got a B on a midterm i thought i failed. I just got back from the woodshop. I was cutting wood with a bandsaw. I find power tools so scary and they really freak me out b/c i am a klutz and can imagine me chopping off a finger. Somehow i left feeling quite refreshed. I think it's b/c when i was in the woodshop i was forced to stay present and not let my mind drift to other things. I could only think about what i was doing right in that moment, or risk a chopped finger. Think about that... how often can you be completly present, completly focused on the moment. Not often. find somewhere you can do that..it feels great.
god this journal is boring.
leave a comment if you disagree.
and it looks as if another rough week is coming.
So over the course of this week i have:
1. woke up at 5..and watched the sunrise over manhatten from the 30th floor of a building on madison ave ( too bad i was in a dentists chair at the time..so it was a bit tainted)
2. had an anxiety attack/ nervous breakdown. i won't get into detail.
3. returned from a wonderful trip to NH. it was so good to see some familiar family and friends. It was so nice seeing my sister and my mom and dad. i am lucky to have such a loving family. Seeing crit and em was great too. I miss them both so much. UNH was fun..i saw numerous chs people who i would either rather not have seen or just was weirded out about seeing even if they didn't know me. eh. it was a blast anyways.
4. decided that for me to possibly get all my work done for next week, that i must basically not stop working the entire weekend except maybe to sleep.
today seems to be looking up. I got a B on a midterm i thought i failed. I just got back from the woodshop. I was cutting wood with a bandsaw. I find power tools so scary and they really freak me out b/c i am a klutz and can imagine me chopping off a finger. Somehow i left feeling quite refreshed. I think it's b/c when i was in the woodshop i was forced to stay present and not let my mind drift to other things. I could only think about what i was doing right in that moment, or risk a chopped finger. Think about that... how often can you be completly present, completly focused on the moment. Not often. find somewhere you can do that..it feels great.
god this journal is boring.
leave a comment if you disagree.