Best Thing Ever:
Finding out your ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend is SIGNIFICANTLY uglier than you.
Seriously, I feel on top of the world right now. Since I found out about him, I've been assuming I'm smarter than him (because I'm pretty damn smart, let's be honest), funnier than him (because I'm also kind of hilarious), and more talented than him (because I'm really damn talented)*. So, of course, I assumed that he was really attractive. My image of him in my head was this tall, muscular, handsome Southern gentleman, blonde hair, big white smile, Abercrombie-and-Fitch-model-esque.
He is the OPPOSITE of this. He looks like a Neanderthalish caveman thing, disgusting shaggy beard and all. I've been practically bouncing off the walls (especially seeing as I have a maybe-kinda-date with a very, very cute girl). Having every bit of your jealousy melt away is a great feeling. This may sound like an overstatement, but he's really just that ugly. I was showing his picture to my friend at work, and she physically recoiled.
*I would, of course, assume he is more modest than me. But don't call me out on this right now, I'm having a happy-feel-good-about-myself day, which are pretty few and far between, so let me be happy.
Seriously, I feel on top of the world right now. Since I found out about him, I've been assuming I'm smarter than him (because I'm pretty damn smart, let's be honest), funnier than him (because I'm also kind of hilarious), and more talented than him (because I'm really damn talented)*. So, of course, I assumed that he was really attractive. My image of him in my head was this tall, muscular, handsome Southern gentleman, blonde hair, big white smile, Abercrombie-and-Fitch-model-esque.
He is the OPPOSITE of this. He looks like a Neanderthalish caveman thing, disgusting shaggy beard and all. I've been practically bouncing off the walls (especially seeing as I have a maybe-kinda-date with a very, very cute girl). Having every bit of your jealousy melt away is a great feeling. This may sound like an overstatement, but he's really just that ugly. I was showing his picture to my friend at work, and she physically recoiled.
*I would, of course, assume he is more modest than me. But don't call me out on this right now, I'm having a happy-feel-good-about-myself day, which are pretty few and far between, so let me be happy.