Fic: Invisible [SGA, Lorne/Parrish, PG-13] 2/2
See part one for header info.
***
It took longer than David expected for Evan to arrive, bearing a covered plate and an anxious expression. "Sheppard's kidnapped Beckett," he said, plopping the tray on the desk. "I've gotta get out there and join in the search. Lucius is really worried about him." He rubbed his hand over his head and muttered bitterly, "Dammit, I should have detained Sheppard when I had the chance."
"You didn't know," David said, panic welling up. This wasn't good. It wasn't good at all. He walked quickly over to the desk and laid his hand on Evan's arm, not sure which of them he was trying to calm down.
"Security is my responsibility. I should have known something was up," he said. "I'll have to tell Lucius about it." He patted David's hand absently. "Just crash here. I'm not sure when I'll get back and Lucius has everyone working on this, so, you know, he's probably not going to be around for awhile. And you need your rest."
What he needed was to keep Evan here, give him a chance for the pheromones to wear off while giving Sheppard a chance to get Beckett to work on the antidote. Desperate, he tried to think of something, anything that might convince Evan to stay. Think. What had he seen or heard that might-- Oh. Like a lightbulb going off, David flushed as he figured out one thing that just might work. He laid his hand on Evan's cheek, stroking it gently. "Just be careful, okay? I--" He frowned, and pressed his hand against Evan's forehead. "Are you all right? You feel a little feverish to me."
"What?" Evan stiffened abruptly. "I feel fine."
"Are you sure?" David let all his anxiety leak into his voice. "Maybe I wasn't as well as I thought. You better stay here. I may have infected you."
"I'm fine," Evan said. "I feel better than I have.... Well, in a long time."
"Oh, well, that's great then. It's just that Lucius was so concerned earlier about sick people running around Atlantis...." He let his voice drift off.
"It wouldn't have affected me this quickly," Evan said, but he looked troubled. "If it's something that's really dangerous, the quarantine procedures would spring up."
"True, but Lucius isn't from either Earth or Atlantis. He might be more susceptible to it. And Sheppard still has his cold."
"God, yeah, I forgot about that. I guess it's possible." He sank down onto the bed. "I'll ask Lucius what I should do." He went to touch his radio, but David aggressively laced his fingers through Evan's hand.
"You don't want to bother Lucius over a cold, do you? What with Beckett gone--" David blanked on who was next in line for the military, if both Sheppard and Evan were out. Didn't matter, though, did it? Evan said people were susceptible to suggestion when first infected. "I'm sure Ronon can coordinate the search. He's the best tracker we have."
"Yeah, yeah, you're right about that." Evan stared at their interlaced hands. He glanced at David, looking puzzled. "You're really worried about me, aren't you? Do I look that sick?"
David had to look away. It was true, he was worried about Evan. He was always worried about Evan, whether he was off-world or on Atlantis. David cared for him more than was reasonable, given that Evan had a reputation for short-term relationships, and David wanted a long-term partner. The reality of Evan being bi could only end in heartbreak. A couple of months of fun, then years of embarrassment; David had gone through that particular cycle before.
There was a knot in his throat, and David had to clear it. "You're looking a little pale," is all he said.
"Huh. I'll contact the infirmary, see what they say." He tugged David's hand and gave it a squeeze, grinning. "I'm not going to die from this. I'm not even sick." He pulled his hand away and clicked on his radio; David was close enough to. "Lorne to--the infirmary, I guess."
"Biro here!"
"Hey, listen. Is there any sort of virus running around Atlantis recently?"
"As a matter of fact, there is. The scientists down in the hydroponics bays have been reporting chills and lethargy, the beginnings of a cold. Lucius is down there now, giving out one of his tinctures to people who aren't feeling well. Seems to perk people right up."
"That's great, Doc. He's such a swell guy."
"He certainly is, Major. I don't know what we'd do without him."
"Tell Lucius that I may have a touch of whatever the scientists have, will you? He said he was going to stop in, and I don't want him to catch anything."
"I'll let him know, but I'm sure he'll stop in. It's just that things are pretty crazy right now, and Lucius is very interested in the search for Colonel Sheppard. He might not get to you until tomorrow. So rest up and drink plenty of clear fluids in the meantime."
"I'm all set." Evan clicked off his radio and looked at David. "I guess we'll be sharing quarters for awhile."
"I don't mind," David said. He glanced at the bed and shook his head. "But it's going to be tough to fit us both into that."
Evan shook his head. "We'll manage," he said. "It won't be long, I'm sure. Lucius already said he was going to stop in, so it shouldn't be more than an hour. Biro's just being Biro when she says it's not going to be until tomorrow."
Evan took a couple minutes to inform the necessary people that he was going to be delayed, and why, then he set his earpiece on the nightstand, heeled off his shoes, and flopped onto the bed. "This started out as a really good day."
David nodded, then sat down on the couch and tried to read, but his mind was on what was happening with Evan. He knew that there would be some sort of withdrawal process, but he hadn't been exposed for as long as most people in Atlantis, so he told himself it wouldn't be too bad, right up until Evan said, "Is this room getting really cold all of a sudden?"
David glanced at him, seeing how pale Evan was, and that he'd started shivering. He closed his book and went to sit down next to him.
"Don't get too close," Evan muttered, pushing David's hand away as he tried to feel Evan's forehead. "Don't want you to get sick, too."
David looked away, firming up the lie. "I already had it, remember?"
"Oh, yeah, the labs...." Evan said, and let his hand fall away. "You're a pretty great guy, you know? I liked having you on my team."
"I liked being on it," David said truthfully, "but you know how it is with promotions."
"Yeah, see, I don't get that. McKay is chief scientist, and he's still on Sheppard's team. Why did a promotion to head botanist mean you had to resign?" His voice was brittle and fuzzy; and his words started to slur.
"I just did." David pulled the covers up over Evan's very nice shoulders. Then he stood up, planning on heading back to the couch, but Evan weakly grabbed at his wrist.
"Stay," he said. "Please stay."
"I'm just going over to the couch, Evan. I'll be right over there."
"No, you won't. You quit the team, David. Why'd you quit the team?" Evan sounded desperate. "I did it, didn't I? You noticed me looking, and it drove you away. "
"No, no, nothing like that," David said, trying to reassure him. "I just--" His heart was pounding, part of him thrilled to hear that Evan noticed that he'd gone, that Evan cared, while part of him felt heavy with guilt, that he'd run out on Evan. He was second guessing himself again, wondering if he'd made the right choice or simply the expedient one. "Let me get you some water," he said, almost desperately.
"Yes, exactly like that. That's the way it always happens. I do something, and then they go away." His brow furrowed. "I didn't try to kiss you, did I? When the Torlan affected us? I swear I would have remembered it."
"No, Major, it had nothing to do with that incident." David made himself use Evan's title. "I just. I wasn't very good at being off-world. I kept getting distracted." Which was true, damn it. Only it wasn't just plants and vegetation that drew his eye, it was the way Evan looked, the way he laughed. The way he made those dry, sarcastic comments that flew right by if the listener wasn't paying careful attention.
And David was always paying attention.
"Stay here. On Atlantis," Evan said, his voice fretful. "With me."
"I can't, I really. I can't" David said, slipping Evan's hand onto the bed. "I want to, I do. But it isn't a good idea."
"Why?" Evan said, his eyes twisting shut tight. "No one would have to know."
David jerked at the words, the truth of them knocking into other tiny truths, making his stomach twist around itself like a living thing. He felt like he couldn't breathe, like his blood was draining out of his body, and had to sit down on the bed, afraid he might fall over. Words cascaded out of his mouth like a chemical reaction, every thought, every feeling tumbling out like bits of charged electrical particles that were no longer able to be contained. "That's just it. No one here knows me, Evan, knows the work that I do. Not even you. I'm practically invisible." Scrubbing his hands over his face, he fought back against the isolation and loneliness that threatened to overwhelm him again. "I should leave," he muttered. "I should just fucking leave."
"Don't go!" Evan said anxiously. "I'm sorry. Jeez, I'm sorry." He tried to pat David's hand, missed, and ended up clawing at the covers on the bed. "I'll take care of you, I promise."
David snorted, choking down his self-pity; he had work to do, and Evan wasn't responsible for him feeling like this; it had been going on for quite a long time. Pulling himself together, he squeezed Evan's hand. Hopefully Evan wouldn't even remember his reaction in the morning; David didn't want to remember it himself. "You thirsty?" he said, groping through the collection of cups Evan had on his nightstand, but none of them looked all that clean. "I need to go wash this," he said, snagging the best looking of the lot. "Try to rest if you can."
"Just for a moment," Evan muttered exhaustedly, as David headed into the bathroom to clean the cup and fill a pitcher with water."Just don't leave."
Evan had dropped off to sleep by the time David got back. He looked like hell, dark smudges under his eyes, glaringly obvious against his skin. His hair was plastered to his head with sweat, but he still shivered under the blankets. Occasionally he roused enough to whimper, settling back again only when David rested nearby, close enough to touch.
David felt miserable about it, but he didn't know how to relieve Evan's suffering; as the hours passed, he brought water, and talked some, or listened when Evan rambled. By morning, it'll be better, he told himself. Just wait for the morning.
The radio crackled. David went ahead and picked it up; Evan was too out of it to do any good, and would be until the toxin was out of his system. He froze as Lucius's voice proudly declared: "Attention, everyone. I have great news. Colonel Sheppard has been captured, and is now in Ronon's custody. Dr. Beckett will be returning to the infirmary immediately upon arrival."
David felt sure he imagined the fait whoops of joy that followed that announcement.
"What do I do now?" Lucius's voice carried over the com. "Oh, push this--"
The radio went dead, and David felt a sudden chill of his own. It looked like it was just him and Evan now, and the two of them had to find a way to save Atlantis.
"Hey, what's up?" Evan asked weakly, sweat beading his forehead even as he shook. "Something happen?"
"They found Sheppard." David set the radio down carefully on the night stand.
"That's great, right?" Evan smiled weakly. "I mean, once Beckett's settled, he'll send someone to look at me."
"That's right. Just as soon as he's settled." God help him, David had no idea what to do next. "You'll be fine, Evan. I know you will." He felt a rush of tenderness; David wanted to kiss him so badly. Instead, he let himself gently stroke Evan's rough cheek, then pressed his forehead to Evan's in an Athosian kiss.
Evan pulled him down into a real one, brushing dry lips against David's own, and David let him. "I missed you so much," Evan whispered, stroking his hand through David's hair. "So, so much."
David pulled back and squeezed his eyes tight. Yes, right. That's right. That was why he'd left. "Here," he said, fumbling a couple pills into Evan's hand and pressing a cup of water on him. "This should help with your fever. I'm sure you'll feel more like yourself in the morning." He turned away, a little saddened at the thought, and feeling guilty because of that. It wasn't right that he wanted to feel Evan's touch so much; he had to set that aside, he had to move on.
Evan, though, didn't seem to want him to go. He wasn't delirious or rambling, he didn't reach out and fight for David to stay; instead he fixed a firm gaze on David and said, "You'll be here in the morning."
"Yes," David said around the lump in his throat. "I'll be here." As he watched Evan knock back the pills and settle down to sleep, David felt the tight knot of anxiety that had settled in his stomach start to relax. Whatever was between them, they could deal with it later, once Atlantis was safe.
***
In the morning, David discovered that it was all over, that Colonel Sheppard had pulled it off. While David dealt with Evan's withdrawal symptoms, Sheppard had found a way to get Beckett to manufacture an antidote. Lucius was quickly neutralized, and all that was left was to make sure everyone on Atlantis got an injection to flush the pheromones from their system. Feeling just a tad bitter, David stuck out his arm for the injection; no one had even mentioned his part in saving Atlantis.
The fact that Evan hadn't said a word after receiving his own injection didn't help. Maybe it would be better if he resigned.
The nurse quickly finished with David and turned to the next scientist. David rolled his sleeve back into place, then stumbled out into the hall, not looking around at anyone as he passed. He knew jealousy wasn't becoming, but this could have been his chance to make a contribution, to matter. He could have been the hero for once. Instead, after putting Evan through the hell of withdrawal for no reason at all, he was being sent back to the hydroponics bay to organize the cleanup of Lucius's mess.
"Hey, David. Wait up," Evan called, jogging down the hallway after him. "How are you feeling?"
David thought about it. "Better," he said, surprised that it was true. "I am so sorry about last night," he said, for what must have been the hundredth time.
"It's okay," Evan said, cupping David's elbow in the palm of his hand and guiding him around the corner and into another hallway.
Okay, here it comes, David thought. Better to get in front of it than to be hit from behind. "Listen, Major, I understand, you were delusional and said some things that you didn't mean--"
"No, nothing like that." Evan shook his head. "What I wanted to say was that if Sheppard had been captured before Beckett was clean and able to synthesize the antidote, you would have been able to do it."
David pulled his arm away, rubbing his elbow. He didn't need an 'everyone is special' pep talk. "It's very kind of you to say that, Major."
Evan rolled his eyes. "Don't pull that crap on me, David. I do know you. I know what you can do." They were standing practically toe to toe, like David was one of Evan's marines, due for a dressing down, but Evan didn't yell at him. Instead, he took David's hand in his own and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "I trust you, okay? I know you would have pulled this off."
He sounded...sincere. David found himself blinking a little more strongly than normal. "Thank you."
"You're a smart guy, okay? Smarter than me. Maybe not the smartest on Atlantis, but I've seen the ego that goes with that, and I prefer you." Evan shook himself. "It's one of the reasons I picked you for my team."
"You-- I thought I was assigned--"
"Naah, I had a choice, and you looked like the best of the lot." His voice dropped to a lower register, his voice taking on a rough growl that made David's heart pound. "You were the best looking, too."
David ducked his head shyly, then glanced up at him. "Really?"
"Yeah, really. You've never been invisible to me," Evan said, lifting his chin. "Listen, you don't have to be on my team. I get that not everyone is cut out for field work. But I like you." He rubbed his thumb over the inside of David's wrist, making the skin tingle. "And I want to see you, on a...non-professional basis. Everything I said--most of what I said, anyway--was true. I want you to stay." He cupped the back of David's head in his hand, stepped closer, and pulled him in for a long, slow kiss.
In spite of all his wariness, his certainty that this was a bad idea, David slid his hands along Evan's arms to his shoulders and let his hands wrap around them as he leaned into Evan's warmth. The cold ache he'd carried around inside for so long melted at Evan's touch, at the way their bodies pressed together. He moaned softly, opening up and letting Evan inside, letting him smooth over the sharp, jagged edges of loneliness that had seemed a part of him from the moment he left Earth.
At last, they pulled back from each other, and David felt a little giddy. From the glimmer in Evan's eyes, he thought Evan might feel a little giddy, too. "Come on," Evan said, nodding back at the main corridor. "You're needed in Weir's office."
Evan hustled them along, and when David stepped out of the transporter, he could see that Dr Beckett and Dr McKay were sitting in Dr. Weir's office, while Colonel Sheppard was leaning against her desk. He shot Evan a confused look, but headed for the office anyway, hoping it wouldn't be too awkward to hang around the door until her current meeting was over.
The door whisked open the moment he arrived, though, and Dr. Weir motioned him inside. Sheppard moved over to the couch and perched on the armrest next to Rodney. "Dr. Parrish," she said formally. "Please sit down." He quickly seated himself on the chair in front of her desk, and he could feel Evan moving to stand behind him. "It took a little doing, but we were finally able to piece together your part in this process."
"I knew that with the information on botanicals on that laptop, Rodney had to have had help," Dr. Beckett said. "Lorne was the one who mentioned what you had done."
"Oh please, as if I wouldn't have been able to figure it out." Dr. McKay replied.
"Rodney," Colonel Sheppard said, poking Dr. McKay in the arm. "What have I said about working nicely with others?"
"All right, fine." Dr. McKay rolled his eyes and flapped a hand in David's direction. "You weren't a complete idiot to work with, for a botanist."
"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Sheppard said, grinning at David.
Dr. McKay winced. "I think I sprained something in my brain just saying it."
Elizabeth shook her head at Rodney's comment, a faint smile etching her lips. "Despite Dr. McKay's way with words, I wanted to commend you for your work during this crisis. Your efforts enabled Dr. Beckett to create a cure for Lucius's drug, freeing everyone from his influence." She turned slightly and picked up a document from her desk. "As a token of our appreciation, I'd like present you with this." She held out a certificate, one of those 'attaboy' looking things that corporations gave out. Then she smiled warmly, looking much less formal and intimidating than she had a moment ago. "And as Lucius's probable sixth wife, I wanted to add a very personal and heartfelt thank you to that, as well."
Stammering his acceptance, a little overwhelmed as everyone nodded and smiled at him, David saw that the paper wasn't exactly what he'd thought it was. Instead of a certificate of achievement, he held a promissory note for one 'thank you' meal, specially prepared by the four of them, good for after the next Daedalus run. A dinner with fresh food from Earth, for him and small group of friends.
David glanced over at Evan, who was rocking back and forth on his toes, grinning, and David couldn't help grinning back. It was time he made himself visible to more than just one person, David thought. Now that he had a reason to stay.
The End
***
It took longer than David expected for Evan to arrive, bearing a covered plate and an anxious expression. "Sheppard's kidnapped Beckett," he said, plopping the tray on the desk. "I've gotta get out there and join in the search. Lucius is really worried about him." He rubbed his hand over his head and muttered bitterly, "Dammit, I should have detained Sheppard when I had the chance."
"You didn't know," David said, panic welling up. This wasn't good. It wasn't good at all. He walked quickly over to the desk and laid his hand on Evan's arm, not sure which of them he was trying to calm down.
"Security is my responsibility. I should have known something was up," he said. "I'll have to tell Lucius about it." He patted David's hand absently. "Just crash here. I'm not sure when I'll get back and Lucius has everyone working on this, so, you know, he's probably not going to be around for awhile. And you need your rest."
What he needed was to keep Evan here, give him a chance for the pheromones to wear off while giving Sheppard a chance to get Beckett to work on the antidote. Desperate, he tried to think of something, anything that might convince Evan to stay. Think. What had he seen or heard that might-- Oh. Like a lightbulb going off, David flushed as he figured out one thing that just might work. He laid his hand on Evan's cheek, stroking it gently. "Just be careful, okay? I--" He frowned, and pressed his hand against Evan's forehead. "Are you all right? You feel a little feverish to me."
"What?" Evan stiffened abruptly. "I feel fine."
"Are you sure?" David let all his anxiety leak into his voice. "Maybe I wasn't as well as I thought. You better stay here. I may have infected you."
"I'm fine," Evan said. "I feel better than I have.... Well, in a long time."
"Oh, well, that's great then. It's just that Lucius was so concerned earlier about sick people running around Atlantis...." He let his voice drift off.
"It wouldn't have affected me this quickly," Evan said, but he looked troubled. "If it's something that's really dangerous, the quarantine procedures would spring up."
"True, but Lucius isn't from either Earth or Atlantis. He might be more susceptible to it. And Sheppard still has his cold."
"God, yeah, I forgot about that. I guess it's possible." He sank down onto the bed. "I'll ask Lucius what I should do." He went to touch his radio, but David aggressively laced his fingers through Evan's hand.
"You don't want to bother Lucius over a cold, do you? What with Beckett gone--" David blanked on who was next in line for the military, if both Sheppard and Evan were out. Didn't matter, though, did it? Evan said people were susceptible to suggestion when first infected. "I'm sure Ronon can coordinate the search. He's the best tracker we have."
"Yeah, yeah, you're right about that." Evan stared at their interlaced hands. He glanced at David, looking puzzled. "You're really worried about me, aren't you? Do I look that sick?"
David had to look away. It was true, he was worried about Evan. He was always worried about Evan, whether he was off-world or on Atlantis. David cared for him more than was reasonable, given that Evan had a reputation for short-term relationships, and David wanted a long-term partner. The reality of Evan being bi could only end in heartbreak. A couple of months of fun, then years of embarrassment; David had gone through that particular cycle before.
There was a knot in his throat, and David had to clear it. "You're looking a little pale," is all he said.
"Huh. I'll contact the infirmary, see what they say." He tugged David's hand and gave it a squeeze, grinning. "I'm not going to die from this. I'm not even sick." He pulled his hand away and clicked on his radio; David was close enough to. "Lorne to--the infirmary, I guess."
"Biro here!"
"Hey, listen. Is there any sort of virus running around Atlantis recently?"
"As a matter of fact, there is. The scientists down in the hydroponics bays have been reporting chills and lethargy, the beginnings of a cold. Lucius is down there now, giving out one of his tinctures to people who aren't feeling well. Seems to perk people right up."
"That's great, Doc. He's such a swell guy."
"He certainly is, Major. I don't know what we'd do without him."
"Tell Lucius that I may have a touch of whatever the scientists have, will you? He said he was going to stop in, and I don't want him to catch anything."
"I'll let him know, but I'm sure he'll stop in. It's just that things are pretty crazy right now, and Lucius is very interested in the search for Colonel Sheppard. He might not get to you until tomorrow. So rest up and drink plenty of clear fluids in the meantime."
"I'm all set." Evan clicked off his radio and looked at David. "I guess we'll be sharing quarters for awhile."
"I don't mind," David said. He glanced at the bed and shook his head. "But it's going to be tough to fit us both into that."
Evan shook his head. "We'll manage," he said. "It won't be long, I'm sure. Lucius already said he was going to stop in, so it shouldn't be more than an hour. Biro's just being Biro when she says it's not going to be until tomorrow."
Evan took a couple minutes to inform the necessary people that he was going to be delayed, and why, then he set his earpiece on the nightstand, heeled off his shoes, and flopped onto the bed. "This started out as a really good day."
David nodded, then sat down on the couch and tried to read, but his mind was on what was happening with Evan. He knew that there would be some sort of withdrawal process, but he hadn't been exposed for as long as most people in Atlantis, so he told himself it wouldn't be too bad, right up until Evan said, "Is this room getting really cold all of a sudden?"
David glanced at him, seeing how pale Evan was, and that he'd started shivering. He closed his book and went to sit down next to him.
"Don't get too close," Evan muttered, pushing David's hand away as he tried to feel Evan's forehead. "Don't want you to get sick, too."
David looked away, firming up the lie. "I already had it, remember?"
"Oh, yeah, the labs...." Evan said, and let his hand fall away. "You're a pretty great guy, you know? I liked having you on my team."
"I liked being on it," David said truthfully, "but you know how it is with promotions."
"Yeah, see, I don't get that. McKay is chief scientist, and he's still on Sheppard's team. Why did a promotion to head botanist mean you had to resign?" His voice was brittle and fuzzy; and his words started to slur.
"I just did." David pulled the covers up over Evan's very nice shoulders. Then he stood up, planning on heading back to the couch, but Evan weakly grabbed at his wrist.
"Stay," he said. "Please stay."
"I'm just going over to the couch, Evan. I'll be right over there."
"No, you won't. You quit the team, David. Why'd you quit the team?" Evan sounded desperate. "I did it, didn't I? You noticed me looking, and it drove you away. "
"No, no, nothing like that," David said, trying to reassure him. "I just--" His heart was pounding, part of him thrilled to hear that Evan noticed that he'd gone, that Evan cared, while part of him felt heavy with guilt, that he'd run out on Evan. He was second guessing himself again, wondering if he'd made the right choice or simply the expedient one. "Let me get you some water," he said, almost desperately.
"Yes, exactly like that. That's the way it always happens. I do something, and then they go away." His brow furrowed. "I didn't try to kiss you, did I? When the Torlan affected us? I swear I would have remembered it."
"No, Major, it had nothing to do with that incident." David made himself use Evan's title. "I just. I wasn't very good at being off-world. I kept getting distracted." Which was true, damn it. Only it wasn't just plants and vegetation that drew his eye, it was the way Evan looked, the way he laughed. The way he made those dry, sarcastic comments that flew right by if the listener wasn't paying careful attention.
And David was always paying attention.
"Stay here. On Atlantis," Evan said, his voice fretful. "With me."
"I can't, I really. I can't" David said, slipping Evan's hand onto the bed. "I want to, I do. But it isn't a good idea."
"Why?" Evan said, his eyes twisting shut tight. "No one would have to know."
David jerked at the words, the truth of them knocking into other tiny truths, making his stomach twist around itself like a living thing. He felt like he couldn't breathe, like his blood was draining out of his body, and had to sit down on the bed, afraid he might fall over. Words cascaded out of his mouth like a chemical reaction, every thought, every feeling tumbling out like bits of charged electrical particles that were no longer able to be contained. "That's just it. No one here knows me, Evan, knows the work that I do. Not even you. I'm practically invisible." Scrubbing his hands over his face, he fought back against the isolation and loneliness that threatened to overwhelm him again. "I should leave," he muttered. "I should just fucking leave."
"Don't go!" Evan said anxiously. "I'm sorry. Jeez, I'm sorry." He tried to pat David's hand, missed, and ended up clawing at the covers on the bed. "I'll take care of you, I promise."
David snorted, choking down his self-pity; he had work to do, and Evan wasn't responsible for him feeling like this; it had been going on for quite a long time. Pulling himself together, he squeezed Evan's hand. Hopefully Evan wouldn't even remember his reaction in the morning; David didn't want to remember it himself. "You thirsty?" he said, groping through the collection of cups Evan had on his nightstand, but none of them looked all that clean. "I need to go wash this," he said, snagging the best looking of the lot. "Try to rest if you can."
"Just for a moment," Evan muttered exhaustedly, as David headed into the bathroom to clean the cup and fill a pitcher with water."Just don't leave."
Evan had dropped off to sleep by the time David got back. He looked like hell, dark smudges under his eyes, glaringly obvious against his skin. His hair was plastered to his head with sweat, but he still shivered under the blankets. Occasionally he roused enough to whimper, settling back again only when David rested nearby, close enough to touch.
David felt miserable about it, but he didn't know how to relieve Evan's suffering; as the hours passed, he brought water, and talked some, or listened when Evan rambled. By morning, it'll be better, he told himself. Just wait for the morning.
The radio crackled. David went ahead and picked it up; Evan was too out of it to do any good, and would be until the toxin was out of his system. He froze as Lucius's voice proudly declared: "Attention, everyone. I have great news. Colonel Sheppard has been captured, and is now in Ronon's custody. Dr. Beckett will be returning to the infirmary immediately upon arrival."
David felt sure he imagined the fait whoops of joy that followed that announcement.
"What do I do now?" Lucius's voice carried over the com. "Oh, push this--"
The radio went dead, and David felt a sudden chill of his own. It looked like it was just him and Evan now, and the two of them had to find a way to save Atlantis.
"Hey, what's up?" Evan asked weakly, sweat beading his forehead even as he shook. "Something happen?"
"They found Sheppard." David set the radio down carefully on the night stand.
"That's great, right?" Evan smiled weakly. "I mean, once Beckett's settled, he'll send someone to look at me."
"That's right. Just as soon as he's settled." God help him, David had no idea what to do next. "You'll be fine, Evan. I know you will." He felt a rush of tenderness; David wanted to kiss him so badly. Instead, he let himself gently stroke Evan's rough cheek, then pressed his forehead to Evan's in an Athosian kiss.
Evan pulled him down into a real one, brushing dry lips against David's own, and David let him. "I missed you so much," Evan whispered, stroking his hand through David's hair. "So, so much."
David pulled back and squeezed his eyes tight. Yes, right. That's right. That was why he'd left. "Here," he said, fumbling a couple pills into Evan's hand and pressing a cup of water on him. "This should help with your fever. I'm sure you'll feel more like yourself in the morning." He turned away, a little saddened at the thought, and feeling guilty because of that. It wasn't right that he wanted to feel Evan's touch so much; he had to set that aside, he had to move on.
Evan, though, didn't seem to want him to go. He wasn't delirious or rambling, he didn't reach out and fight for David to stay; instead he fixed a firm gaze on David and said, "You'll be here in the morning."
"Yes," David said around the lump in his throat. "I'll be here." As he watched Evan knock back the pills and settle down to sleep, David felt the tight knot of anxiety that had settled in his stomach start to relax. Whatever was between them, they could deal with it later, once Atlantis was safe.
***
In the morning, David discovered that it was all over, that Colonel Sheppard had pulled it off. While David dealt with Evan's withdrawal symptoms, Sheppard had found a way to get Beckett to manufacture an antidote. Lucius was quickly neutralized, and all that was left was to make sure everyone on Atlantis got an injection to flush the pheromones from their system. Feeling just a tad bitter, David stuck out his arm for the injection; no one had even mentioned his part in saving Atlantis.
The fact that Evan hadn't said a word after receiving his own injection didn't help. Maybe it would be better if he resigned.
The nurse quickly finished with David and turned to the next scientist. David rolled his sleeve back into place, then stumbled out into the hall, not looking around at anyone as he passed. He knew jealousy wasn't becoming, but this could have been his chance to make a contribution, to matter. He could have been the hero for once. Instead, after putting Evan through the hell of withdrawal for no reason at all, he was being sent back to the hydroponics bay to organize the cleanup of Lucius's mess.
"Hey, David. Wait up," Evan called, jogging down the hallway after him. "How are you feeling?"
David thought about it. "Better," he said, surprised that it was true. "I am so sorry about last night," he said, for what must have been the hundredth time.
"It's okay," Evan said, cupping David's elbow in the palm of his hand and guiding him around the corner and into another hallway.
Okay, here it comes, David thought. Better to get in front of it than to be hit from behind. "Listen, Major, I understand, you were delusional and said some things that you didn't mean--"
"No, nothing like that." Evan shook his head. "What I wanted to say was that if Sheppard had been captured before Beckett was clean and able to synthesize the antidote, you would have been able to do it."
David pulled his arm away, rubbing his elbow. He didn't need an 'everyone is special' pep talk. "It's very kind of you to say that, Major."
Evan rolled his eyes. "Don't pull that crap on me, David. I do know you. I know what you can do." They were standing practically toe to toe, like David was one of Evan's marines, due for a dressing down, but Evan didn't yell at him. Instead, he took David's hand in his own and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "I trust you, okay? I know you would have pulled this off."
He sounded...sincere. David found himself blinking a little more strongly than normal. "Thank you."
"You're a smart guy, okay? Smarter than me. Maybe not the smartest on Atlantis, but I've seen the ego that goes with that, and I prefer you." Evan shook himself. "It's one of the reasons I picked you for my team."
"You-- I thought I was assigned--"
"Naah, I had a choice, and you looked like the best of the lot." His voice dropped to a lower register, his voice taking on a rough growl that made David's heart pound. "You were the best looking, too."
David ducked his head shyly, then glanced up at him. "Really?"
"Yeah, really. You've never been invisible to me," Evan said, lifting his chin. "Listen, you don't have to be on my team. I get that not everyone is cut out for field work. But I like you." He rubbed his thumb over the inside of David's wrist, making the skin tingle. "And I want to see you, on a...non-professional basis. Everything I said--most of what I said, anyway--was true. I want you to stay." He cupped the back of David's head in his hand, stepped closer, and pulled him in for a long, slow kiss.
In spite of all his wariness, his certainty that this was a bad idea, David slid his hands along Evan's arms to his shoulders and let his hands wrap around them as he leaned into Evan's warmth. The cold ache he'd carried around inside for so long melted at Evan's touch, at the way their bodies pressed together. He moaned softly, opening up and letting Evan inside, letting him smooth over the sharp, jagged edges of loneliness that had seemed a part of him from the moment he left Earth.
At last, they pulled back from each other, and David felt a little giddy. From the glimmer in Evan's eyes, he thought Evan might feel a little giddy, too. "Come on," Evan said, nodding back at the main corridor. "You're needed in Weir's office."
Evan hustled them along, and when David stepped out of the transporter, he could see that Dr Beckett and Dr McKay were sitting in Dr. Weir's office, while Colonel Sheppard was leaning against her desk. He shot Evan a confused look, but headed for the office anyway, hoping it wouldn't be too awkward to hang around the door until her current meeting was over.
The door whisked open the moment he arrived, though, and Dr. Weir motioned him inside. Sheppard moved over to the couch and perched on the armrest next to Rodney. "Dr. Parrish," she said formally. "Please sit down." He quickly seated himself on the chair in front of her desk, and he could feel Evan moving to stand behind him. "It took a little doing, but we were finally able to piece together your part in this process."
"I knew that with the information on botanicals on that laptop, Rodney had to have had help," Dr. Beckett said. "Lorne was the one who mentioned what you had done."
"Oh please, as if I wouldn't have been able to figure it out." Dr. McKay replied.
"Rodney," Colonel Sheppard said, poking Dr. McKay in the arm. "What have I said about working nicely with others?"
"All right, fine." Dr. McKay rolled his eyes and flapped a hand in David's direction. "You weren't a complete idiot to work with, for a botanist."
"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Sheppard said, grinning at David.
Dr. McKay winced. "I think I sprained something in my brain just saying it."
Elizabeth shook her head at Rodney's comment, a faint smile etching her lips. "Despite Dr. McKay's way with words, I wanted to commend you for your work during this crisis. Your efforts enabled Dr. Beckett to create a cure for Lucius's drug, freeing everyone from his influence." She turned slightly and picked up a document from her desk. "As a token of our appreciation, I'd like present you with this." She held out a certificate, one of those 'attaboy' looking things that corporations gave out. Then she smiled warmly, looking much less formal and intimidating than she had a moment ago. "And as Lucius's probable sixth wife, I wanted to add a very personal and heartfelt thank you to that, as well."
Stammering his acceptance, a little overwhelmed as everyone nodded and smiled at him, David saw that the paper wasn't exactly what he'd thought it was. Instead of a certificate of achievement, he held a promissory note for one 'thank you' meal, specially prepared by the four of them, good for after the next Daedalus run. A dinner with fresh food from Earth, for him and small group of friends.
David glanced over at Evan, who was rocking back and forth on his toes, grinning, and David couldn't help grinning back. It was time he made himself visible to more than just one person, David thought. Now that he had a reason to stay.
The End