another year of this?
Last year was a series of struggles. Struggles to pay rent, struggles to find jobs, struggles to aquire advancement, struggles to find a break, struggles to get out of a state of struggle.
And it's getting worse. My mom and dad are less and less able to help me, as their financial stability continues to deteriorate.
I have thousands of dollars that I need to pay in student loans soon (minus what my perental units are trying to help me with) and I'm not even sure If I can cover rent THIS month. I spoke to one of my friends from the Art Institute and she graduated 3 years ago. She's unemployed still.
Is this where I'm headed? poverty? Here I am. I have skills and a Bachelors degree and nobody gives a shit. Since I don't know anyone, My skills mean nothing. Am I entering another year of absolute shit? I don't want it. I'm tired of trying to make connections and failing. I'm tired of thinking "oh whenever I have money I can do that" I'm tired of getting treated like shit by every single job I have. I'm so tired of everything.
I've become a total pothead too. I used to toke it up once a month or so. Now I smoke almost every night. Every day, I see the people around me and the world around me and I want everyone to die. But that feeling goes away when I smoke. So I guess I'm not too ashamed of it. I'd rather have the munchies and giggle a lot then kill someone and go to prison.
And it's getting worse. My mom and dad are less and less able to help me, as their financial stability continues to deteriorate.
I have thousands of dollars that I need to pay in student loans soon (minus what my perental units are trying to help me with) and I'm not even sure If I can cover rent THIS month. I spoke to one of my friends from the Art Institute and she graduated 3 years ago. She's unemployed still.
Is this where I'm headed? poverty? Here I am. I have skills and a Bachelors degree and nobody gives a shit. Since I don't know anyone, My skills mean nothing. Am I entering another year of absolute shit? I don't want it. I'm tired of trying to make connections and failing. I'm tired of thinking "oh whenever I have money I can do that" I'm tired of getting treated like shit by every single job I have. I'm so tired of everything.
I've become a total pothead too. I used to toke it up once a month or so. Now I smoke almost every night. Every day, I see the people around me and the world around me and I want everyone to die. But that feeling goes away when I smoke. So I guess I'm not too ashamed of it. I'd rather have the munchies and giggle a lot then kill someone and go to prison.