Life..or something like it
Tonight i think i will talk of nothing..but yet everything.. do you get what i mean? Sometimes i dont even know what I mean..
Im not sure about my life any more, things have just gotten so complicated.growing up..becomeing responsible was never a thought in my head until these past few years.. I've realized im getting older and theres alot more that I have to deal with. school,home,friends,lovers,hate,enimies,cruelty,death and alot lot more.. I'm almost never happy but when I am it never seems to last very long..ONe minute i'm up and then the next I've hit rock bottom.
Sometimes i wonder if life is nothing but a dream?! and if were really all asleep and nothing is reality..but then why does everything hurt so much..
whats to become of me? of my life..Will I amount to anything at all? Will anyone love me..truely love me..I think my greatest fear..is being alone..not haveing anyone love me..i mean soul mate love..and in your reading this...which knowone will..you muct think im crazy...maybe i am...but nobodys perfectly sane.
I'm not pretty..yet I know im not ugly..i get too much attention from guys to be ugly..yet..nothing seems to last long...relationship wise..it pains me to think of the times when i was so happy and to think now that im so deppressed theres days that i dont want to wake up..I'm not the one to comit to this...in acts of suicide..im mean it's a thought that has crossed my mind at one point or another..But I dont think that i could ever.
I'm drinking moutain dew and am so bored off my ass..Im tired but im not..I had to go to work today and it sucked..I hate work but thats another of lifes greatness.. Yea.. I have to call brenda tommara..meow..yay.. I dont kno Wow I think this is the most I've ever written..although it's mainly for me..cus nobody reads this..I guess thats what I like about it in a way..and in another makes me feel lonely all over again..I get this way alot..and i know i shouldnt..ppl say its good to get the things troubleing you off your mind and talk about it or write about it..but it makes me feel worse thinking about it..saying it. Im not sure if anyone understands me..I guess.. owell right..who care..nobody..someboday..me..No..No..No.. Thats right no to the questions no to everything no no no..never yes...why...but what do i ask why to? Do you kno? Do i kno..im not sure..even as i read this over again line after line..trying to keep my tears hiddin all the time..Dont let them know your weak..that you cry..that you have feelings..just becomeing stone..its like poetry almost and whats most poetry based on..it seems..saddnedd hate..deppression..rarely do i see happy poetry..certanly it's not me..And in this i end my rant and i pitty the one reading this if you do..its nothing i guess..beacuse im trying to hide it..and you dont care..
Im not sure about my life any more, things have just gotten so complicated.growing up..becomeing responsible was never a thought in my head until these past few years.. I've realized im getting older and theres alot more that I have to deal with. school,home,friends,lovers,hate,enimies,cruelty,death and alot lot more.. I'm almost never happy but when I am it never seems to last very long..ONe minute i'm up and then the next I've hit rock bottom.
Sometimes i wonder if life is nothing but a dream?! and if were really all asleep and nothing is reality..but then why does everything hurt so much..
whats to become of me? of my life..Will I amount to anything at all? Will anyone love me..truely love me..I think my greatest fear..is being alone..not haveing anyone love me..i mean soul mate love..and in your reading this...which knowone will..you muct think im crazy...maybe i am...but nobodys perfectly sane.
I'm not pretty..yet I know im not ugly..i get too much attention from guys to be ugly..yet..nothing seems to last long...relationship wise..it pains me to think of the times when i was so happy and to think now that im so deppressed theres days that i dont want to wake up..I'm not the one to comit to this...in acts of suicide..im mean it's a thought that has crossed my mind at one point or another..But I dont think that i could ever.
I'm drinking moutain dew and am so bored off my ass..Im tired but im not..I had to go to work today and it sucked..I hate work but thats another of lifes greatness.. Yea.. I have to call brenda tommara..meow..yay.. I dont kno Wow I think this is the most I've ever written..although it's mainly for me..cus nobody reads this..I guess thats what I like about it in a way..and in another makes me feel lonely all over again..I get this way alot..and i know i shouldnt..ppl say its good to get the things troubleing you off your mind and talk about it or write about it..but it makes me feel worse thinking about it..saying it. Im not sure if anyone understands me..I guess.. owell right..who care..nobody..someboday..me..No..No..No.. Thats right no to the questions no to everything no no no..never yes...why...but what do i ask why to? Do you kno? Do i kno..im not sure..even as i read this over again line after line..trying to keep my tears hiddin all the time..Dont let them know your weak..that you cry..that you have feelings..just becomeing stone..its like poetry almost and whats most poetry based on..it seems..saddnedd hate..deppression..rarely do i see happy poetry..certanly it's not me..And in this i end my rant and i pitty the one reading this if you do..its nothing i guess..beacuse im trying to hide it..and you dont care..