OMG UPDATE. . . . . . wait- . . . what?
A young woman wanders into the room. She is cautious, glancing around the room suspiciously. As she strays farther from the entrance, a cold sense of familiarity overtakes her. "I have been here before. . ." she mutters in a low, shocked voice. She takes two definite steps backwards and stumbles over a derelict tomb. An awkward mess of flailing limbs crashes to the ground with a screech. An impressive cloud of noxious dust erupts from the ancient book. It hits her. With her nose squashed flatly against the cover of the book, she recalls with ease: An era long gone; a journal undertaken in youth! Indeed, this near forgotten volume held the secrets of her past.
*walks in, trips over her lj* OH YEAH!!! I have a journal. 'Spose I'll update it.
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Yea I got nothing. Or maybe it's just that I hate discussing the intimate details of my life with all the strangers of the internet. By strangers of the internet I guess I'm referring to the hand full of close friends, family, and lovers, who actually read this, like 3 people. So I guess what I'm trying to say here is, I'm lazy and uninspired. Also boring beyond what is traditionally comprehensible by the human brain. This leads me to ponder: can I update my journal, in the truest sense of the word, if I have nothing relevant to add to it? To be more specific, would the reader (you) be able to detect any change in my life over the last couple of months, without my explicit statement of it? We need not address the question of whether any change has actually taken place, as I will assert that the accumulation of day-to-day experiences transforms our overall perception of reality in, at the very least, a subtle manner. (Though I care not to support this particular assertion with any kind of logical evidence or arguments, as it is not the subject of this entry.) I am not necessarily in a position to judge this article a fit entry. You must ask yourself: Has this so-called "update" changed, in any way, your perception of me since I last utilized Livejournal? Can you adequately gauge said changes through my writing style exclusively? Is my choice of subject matter, or definite lack thereof, substantial enough to allude to any transformation? (Keep in mind my pre-existing tendency to compose "updates" of this nature.) I have my doubts. I suspect the majority of my readership has interacted with me in the time between posts, which gives you a distinct advantage: you are already updated on the recent occurrences in my life. So, without the additional obstacle of having to deduce any change (which may or may not exist) from this text, the reader should have the ability to simply analyze these statements and make a determination. In the unfortunate event of my utter failure to update as is traditionally defined, I can offer you only my sincerest apologies. Clearly, maintaining a journal or diary, is completely beyond the scope if my abilities. What's lucky for you here (or catastrophically tragic depending on how you look at it), is that I do excel marvelously in one department: Bullshitting, third floor, across from Men's Wear.
If you didn't read all that, couldn't comprehend it, or weren't sufficiently entertained, fuck you up the goatass. Also, here's something amusing that's probably more on your level:
Surely, this is the only seal in existence that wouldn't benefit from being clubbed to death!
*walks in, trips over her lj* OH YEAH!!! I have a journal. 'Spose I'll update it.
...
...
...
Yea I got nothing. Or maybe it's just that I hate discussing the intimate details of my life with all the strangers of the internet. By strangers of the internet I guess I'm referring to the hand full of close friends, family, and lovers, who actually read this, like 3 people. So I guess what I'm trying to say here is, I'm lazy and uninspired. Also boring beyond what is traditionally comprehensible by the human brain. This leads me to ponder: can I update my journal, in the truest sense of the word, if I have nothing relevant to add to it? To be more specific, would the reader (you) be able to detect any change in my life over the last couple of months, without my explicit statement of it? We need not address the question of whether any change has actually taken place, as I will assert that the accumulation of day-to-day experiences transforms our overall perception of reality in, at the very least, a subtle manner. (Though I care not to support this particular assertion with any kind of logical evidence or arguments, as it is not the subject of this entry.) I am not necessarily in a position to judge this article a fit entry. You must ask yourself: Has this so-called "update" changed, in any way, your perception of me since I last utilized Livejournal? Can you adequately gauge said changes through my writing style exclusively? Is my choice of subject matter, or definite lack thereof, substantial enough to allude to any transformation? (Keep in mind my pre-existing tendency to compose "updates" of this nature.) I have my doubts. I suspect the majority of my readership has interacted with me in the time between posts, which gives you a distinct advantage: you are already updated on the recent occurrences in my life. So, without the additional obstacle of having to deduce any change (which may or may not exist) from this text, the reader should have the ability to simply analyze these statements and make a determination. In the unfortunate event of my utter failure to update as is traditionally defined, I can offer you only my sincerest apologies. Clearly, maintaining a journal or diary, is completely beyond the scope if my abilities. What's lucky for you here (or catastrophically tragic depending on how you look at it), is that I do excel marvelously in one department: Bullshitting, third floor, across from Men's Wear.
If you didn't read all that, couldn't comprehend it, or weren't sufficiently entertained, fuck you up the goatass. Also, here's something amusing that's probably more on your level:
Surely, this is the only seal in existence that wouldn't benefit from being clubbed to death!