(no subject)
I am filled to the brim with a dark, frothy rage. Like a double grande mocha latte. Unfortunately, I was abandoned on a coffee table to fester quietly on a hot day. I wish I was an iced caramel Frappuccino. I have confidence that, had I been made the latter, I would have been sumarily consumed.
How come no one ever buys the biscotti?
I like cheese danishes. They are a noble pastry. I would like people better if they were more like cheese danishes. Muffins are good too. Cinnamon buns will rule the world one day. The world should be given to the muffins, but they are too kind and gentle, so the cinnamon rolls will asume power. I'm okay with that, so long as the cinnamon buns are like the ones you get from the mall. But seriously, this world is for the muffins. Remember that.
Tapirs are not for eating. No! No tapirs on the table. Those who eat tapirs should be fed to flesh eating bacteria. Go gnaw on something else, like an anteater or a panther. Even a monkey would be fine. Just keep your nasty dirty mouth off the fucking tapirs. Christ! People never learn.
One day I hope to be destroyed by ninjas in my sleep. However, I suspect I am doomed to die in a firey car wreck, which sucks. When I die I want a funeral pyre. I want everyone to eat jiffy pop in my honor. Dump my charred bones somewhere sweet.
There's also a chance I am invincible. The pigeons follow me around like they know something I don't. Plus, I am spotted. Spots=unrivaled power. Maybe.
How come no one ever buys the biscotti?
I like cheese danishes. They are a noble pastry. I would like people better if they were more like cheese danishes. Muffins are good too. Cinnamon buns will rule the world one day. The world should be given to the muffins, but they are too kind and gentle, so the cinnamon rolls will asume power. I'm okay with that, so long as the cinnamon buns are like the ones you get from the mall. But seriously, this world is for the muffins. Remember that.
Tapirs are not for eating. No! No tapirs on the table. Those who eat tapirs should be fed to flesh eating bacteria. Go gnaw on something else, like an anteater or a panther. Even a monkey would be fine. Just keep your nasty dirty mouth off the fucking tapirs. Christ! People never learn.
One day I hope to be destroyed by ninjas in my sleep. However, I suspect I am doomed to die in a firey car wreck, which sucks. When I die I want a funeral pyre. I want everyone to eat jiffy pop in my honor. Dump my charred bones somewhere sweet.
There's also a chance I am invincible. The pigeons follow me around like they know something I don't. Plus, I am spotted. Spots=unrivaled power. Maybe.