I've hurt you I can see. Do you think it's not hurting me?
Saying goodbye Harry was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I knew it wasn't goodbye so much as a see you later. God, I hoped it was a see you later. It threw my little world for a spin when I realized that I actually gave a crap about whether Harry lived or died but I guess you just can't help this kinda thing. Always tryin' so hard to feel so much less than I actually feel. That never really worked out for me before but the real surprise this time was that he felt more for me. I never had any idea how much until I met up with him to sign a bunch of papers that'd end things all official like.
I needed to get out of Mexico and back to L.A. I'd been puttin' it off for so long cause when it came right down to it I was bein' a chicken shit. I could remember the venom in my words when I said them to Angel. Don't get me wrong, he was bein' kind of a dick to me off and on in general lately but I think I went above and beyond with my little goodbye speech to him. Fuck. And the clincher was he was right. Angel was wrong about so many other things and this time, this had to be the one fucking time he was right. There was something wrong with Harry. It was killing him.
It was killing me.
I hated feeling like this. Like there was nothing I could do. What was the use of havin' superpowers when you couldn't do anything with them. When you couldn't save the fucking day. Shit. There had to be a way. B came back from the dead, I'd almost died half a dozen times and we were both standing. It couldn't be the end for him. I wouldn't let it. And unfortunately if I wanted to even try to do anything there was only two great resources I had. One of 'em was Wes, cause let's face it Watcher Boy digs hard on those books. I'd look him up for sure but I knew I had to start with the tough one. Life wasn't gonna get put on hold for me and now that I'd ended things for sure with Harry I wasn't entirely sure that I wouldn't find Angel and B in the middle of another liplock by the time I came home. I'd been gone for way too long and facts were facts. If you wanted help in L.A. of the mystical variety Angel and Wolfram and Hart were the route to take.
So even though my flight or fight instinct was kickin' my ass hardcore to beat feet back to who the hell even knew where. I snuck into the Hyperion because the last thing I wanted was to run into Connor before I could find Angel. Definitely wasn't up for a confrontation with Little Brother before I could talk to his old man.
I went up to the roof, cause hardly a night went by where Angel didn't hang up there. Let's face it, it was prime brooding territory. He'd be up here eventually.
Until then, I'd just wait.
I needed to get out of Mexico and back to L.A. I'd been puttin' it off for so long cause when it came right down to it I was bein' a chicken shit. I could remember the venom in my words when I said them to Angel. Don't get me wrong, he was bein' kind of a dick to me off and on in general lately but I think I went above and beyond with my little goodbye speech to him. Fuck. And the clincher was he was right. Angel was wrong about so many other things and this time, this had to be the one fucking time he was right. There was something wrong with Harry. It was killing him.
It was killing me.
I hated feeling like this. Like there was nothing I could do. What was the use of havin' superpowers when you couldn't do anything with them. When you couldn't save the fucking day. Shit. There had to be a way. B came back from the dead, I'd almost died half a dozen times and we were both standing. It couldn't be the end for him. I wouldn't let it. And unfortunately if I wanted to even try to do anything there was only two great resources I had. One of 'em was Wes, cause let's face it Watcher Boy digs hard on those books. I'd look him up for sure but I knew I had to start with the tough one. Life wasn't gonna get put on hold for me and now that I'd ended things for sure with Harry I wasn't entirely sure that I wouldn't find Angel and B in the middle of another liplock by the time I came home. I'd been gone for way too long and facts were facts. If you wanted help in L.A. of the mystical variety Angel and Wolfram and Hart were the route to take.
So even though my flight or fight instinct was kickin' my ass hardcore to beat feet back to who the hell even knew where. I snuck into the Hyperion because the last thing I wanted was to run into Connor before I could find Angel. Definitely wasn't up for a confrontation with Little Brother before I could talk to his old man.
I went up to the roof, cause hardly a night went by where Angel didn't hang up there. Let's face it, it was prime brooding territory. He'd be up here eventually.
Until then, I'd just wait.