It can't last.

[wickedsick]

For the first time in over a year, my life is moving in the right direction.

The last two--soon to be three--weeks have been...INCREDIBLE.

I'm happy.
I'm me again.

I'm perky, upbeat, optimistic, and hopeful.
I sing ALL the time.
I find myself smiling at random thoughts as I walk down the street.
I feel incredible.

I'm so happy I could cry...
...yup, there goes.

God is so astoundingly amazing, I can't even begin to explain.

I've given it all up to Him.
All the drinking.
The partying.
The attitude.
The pride.
The stubborn pursuit.
It is finished.

The rebellion is over

I was fighting God for what I wanted,
but when I surrendered that to him,
I STILL WON!

No, I didn't get what I was specifically fighting for.
Egads, no.

I got the desires of my heart...the True desires of my heart.
What I was chasing wasn't what I wanted at all.

I didn't want a person,
I wanted to be happy.

I misunderstood when I assumed getting what I wanted would make me so.
And it didn't.

Then one day, I don't know how or why,
I said to my Lord, 'I don't want this; I want YOU!'
And so I came Home.
Full-on sprint back to Him.

You are a fire
That lights the night.
You are forgiveness
That heals hearts, even mine!

Only in You are we free,
Only in You can we see,
Only in You do we find Life!

I have always loved You!
I will always love You!
I have always loved You!
I will always love You!

You are salvation
To a people broken inside.
You are redemption
For those who seek second life!
[Addison Road - "I Have Always Loved You"]