bathroom poetry by JOsh Gibson
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
Here I sit
What a caper
I have to shit
But I'm out of paper
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!
Some people come here to take a shit,
I came here to leave one.
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...
Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to shit out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away
(Written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Hillsboro Fire Department wants you.
(Seen above a urinal)
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!
(Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine)
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."
(Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands")
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
Here I sit
What a caper
I have to shit
But I'm out of paper
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!
Some people come here to take a shit,
I came here to leave one.
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...
Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to shit out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away
(Written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Hillsboro Fire Department wants you.
(Seen above a urinal)
Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
We don't piss in your ashtrays!
(Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine)
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."
(Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands")
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.