Stolen from Amber.
A Pitchy Occurence
Caitlin paced up and down jiggling her wenis. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Apple, had arranged to meet her here in a tree. "I have something malifluous to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Apple was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Caitlin expected to see her bounce up, her corroded hair streaming behind her and her smelly eyes aglow.
Caitlin heard footsteps but they seemed rather squatty for a delicate and surreal girl like Mary Sue Apple, whose tread was squishy. She turned around and saw Meghan staring at her.
"What are you doing here?" Meghan said amazingly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Caitlin had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so superstitiously. "Mary Sue Apple asked me to meet her here." As she gazed at Meghan her toe began to throb quietly.
"Oh," Meghan said depreciously. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Caitlin said and caught her by her femur. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes" Meghan said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a virgin touched for the very first time.
From behind a jaguar, Mary Sue Apple watched with a pink light in her bitchy eyes. She took a list out of her pocket and checked off Caitlin/Meghan. Then she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved a koala bear from extinction.