weird and rambly, about a website.
So it's been a rough few days. Been fighting a lot with Kitty. Saying things to each other that best friends aren't ever supposed to say. Things are okay for now, I think. Right now I don't feel like things will ever be the way they were, though. That might just be my gloom talking.
This week has been incredibly slow for work. It's probably the last full week we'll be working from home since we got an email yesterday saying to prepare for a move "sometime next week." But since I really busted my ass last month with lots of travel and executive board stuff, I am thankful for the last uneventful week. We haven't even had any on-site meetings, which I thought was weird but didn't press. I've spent a lot of time jagging off on facebook and just scouting around. My friend Holly sent me a website she came across, with the email subject line "wtf." This website (http://www.freewebs.com/thinnest/index.htm) is a pro-anorexia site.
I read through the whole thing. It's a website for people who are fully aware that they have a disorder, an illness, but they are perfectly happy to not treat it. The whole thing is full of fucked up tips for hiding your eating disorders, a terrible creed and even a psalm about anorexia. The writer of the psalm even went so far as to use "olde englishe" and say things like "It leadeth me past the confectioners." Give me a break, if you're going to try to write something, at least keep it current. People did not suffer from anorexia 2000 years ago when they talked like that. Leadeth my ass. And in the creed itself, the second "stanza" talks about the most vehement self-loathing I've read in a long time. And this is supposed to be a creed, something that you say to yourself to give you hope and strength in times of weakness? Shit, that wouldn't win me over.
The most disturbing part of the site, I thought, was the "Letter from Ana," which is the name that they use for personifying anorexia. The whole thing is dripping with hate and fear and disgust. It highlights all of the worst things about a disease like this, about how you'll never be anything more than a fat cow, how satisfied she is to see you shoving your fingers down your throat, how you have no friends but her. How on earth is this supposed to be supportive? If anything, I'd run for the hills if I saw a letter from my disease saying that you can't ever tell anyone of our secret relationship of loathing and sickness and hatred. Isn't that what every child molester tells the kids they molest, too? Anytime something has to be "secret," it's usually wrong.
Ha, that's why Andrew never wanted to tell anyone we were married.
But I digress! I'm absolutely disgusted that rubbish like this is out there for young, impressionable women to read. And men, too, I guess, though only 10% of anorexia patients are men. I feel very lucky that the eating disorder thing never appealed to me. I was blessed with an already thin frame, so I guess I never worried about it. It just makes me want to cry that there are people out there who have this terrible disorder and actually CHOOSE to not do anything about it. I mean, yeah, it's their choice, it's their body, all that... but to know that this is the kind of garbage they tell themselves to keep themselves from eating? I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Ugh, so this was a weird and rambly point.
Tonight is the Nine Inch Nails concert. I have lawn seats, so of course it's cold and rainy. But aha! I still have the poncho I bought in Disney World in case it rained! Weather, consider yourself thwarted. At least a little.
This week has been incredibly slow for work. It's probably the last full week we'll be working from home since we got an email yesterday saying to prepare for a move "sometime next week." But since I really busted my ass last month with lots of travel and executive board stuff, I am thankful for the last uneventful week. We haven't even had any on-site meetings, which I thought was weird but didn't press. I've spent a lot of time jagging off on facebook and just scouting around. My friend Holly sent me a website she came across, with the email subject line "wtf." This website (http://www.freewebs.com/thinnest/index.htm) is a pro-anorexia site.
I read through the whole thing. It's a website for people who are fully aware that they have a disorder, an illness, but they are perfectly happy to not treat it. The whole thing is full of fucked up tips for hiding your eating disorders, a terrible creed and even a psalm about anorexia. The writer of the psalm even went so far as to use "olde englishe" and say things like "It leadeth me past the confectioners." Give me a break, if you're going to try to write something, at least keep it current. People did not suffer from anorexia 2000 years ago when they talked like that. Leadeth my ass. And in the creed itself, the second "stanza" talks about the most vehement self-loathing I've read in a long time. And this is supposed to be a creed, something that you say to yourself to give you hope and strength in times of weakness? Shit, that wouldn't win me over.
The most disturbing part of the site, I thought, was the "Letter from Ana," which is the name that they use for personifying anorexia. The whole thing is dripping with hate and fear and disgust. It highlights all of the worst things about a disease like this, about how you'll never be anything more than a fat cow, how satisfied she is to see you shoving your fingers down your throat, how you have no friends but her. How on earth is this supposed to be supportive? If anything, I'd run for the hills if I saw a letter from my disease saying that you can't ever tell anyone of our secret relationship of loathing and sickness and hatred. Isn't that what every child molester tells the kids they molest, too? Anytime something has to be "secret," it's usually wrong.
Ha, that's why Andrew never wanted to tell anyone we were married.
But I digress! I'm absolutely disgusted that rubbish like this is out there for young, impressionable women to read. And men, too, I guess, though only 10% of anorexia patients are men. I feel very lucky that the eating disorder thing never appealed to me. I was blessed with an already thin frame, so I guess I never worried about it. It just makes me want to cry that there are people out there who have this terrible disorder and actually CHOOSE to not do anything about it. I mean, yeah, it's their choice, it's their body, all that... but to know that this is the kind of garbage they tell themselves to keep themselves from eating? I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Ugh, so this was a weird and rambly point.
Tonight is the Nine Inch Nails concert. I have lawn seats, so of course it's cold and rainy. But aha! I still have the poncho I bought in Disney World in case it rained! Weather, consider yourself thwarted. At least a little.