How long is summer, anyway?
I worked an 8-hour shift today.
Although I arrived on time, I clocked in 12 minutes late because no one in the store heard me threatening to break the front door, or deigned to answer the phone when I called the office line.
One of my first customers: "Why can't I find heavy wool socks? I need heavy wool socks like you wear in hunting boots? Why can't I find the socks I need???"
me: (in my head) Because it's North Carolina in motherfucking June, you goddamn moron,
me: (out loud) Hunting socks are seasonal items. Try the outdoor outfitters up the road."
me: (in my head) And don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way . . .
Customer, with urgency: "Ah need some colored glasses."
me: " . . . "
Customer: "Ah need colored glasses!!"
me: " . . . do you mean drinking glasses, or eyeglasses . . . ?"
Customer: "Ahh glasses!"
me: "Um. If you mean sunglasses, over there."
me: (blink blink)
Customer: "I wanna look at your ring like Princess Diane"
I show ring. I quote price.
Customer: "I got my ring for $19.95, JEST LIKE THAT."
me: *bland smile*
Customer:: "Your prices are OUTRAGEOUS!"
me: "So you already have a ring like this?"
Customer: " I got it for $19.95."
me: "So you want another one!"
Customer: "No!"
me: "Okay!"
me: (in my head) I CRUSH YOU I CRUSH YOU I CRUSH YOU.
Although I arrived on time, I clocked in 12 minutes late because no one in the store heard me threatening to break the front door, or deigned to answer the phone when I called the office line.
One of my first customers: "Why can't I find heavy wool socks? I need heavy wool socks like you wear in hunting boots? Why can't I find the socks I need???"
me: (in my head) Because it's North Carolina in motherfucking June, you goddamn moron,
me: (out loud) Hunting socks are seasonal items. Try the outdoor outfitters up the road."
me: (in my head) And don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way . . .
Customer, with urgency: "Ah need some colored glasses."
me: " . . . "
Customer: "Ah need colored glasses!!"
me: " . . . do you mean drinking glasses, or eyeglasses . . . ?"
Customer: "Ahh glasses!"
me: "Um. If you mean sunglasses, over there."
me: (blink blink)
Customer: "I wanna look at your ring like Princess Diane"
I show ring. I quote price.
Customer: "I got my ring for $19.95, JEST LIKE THAT."
me: *bland smile*
Customer:: "Your prices are OUTRAGEOUS!"
me: "So you already have a ring like this?"
Customer: " I got it for $19.95."
me: "So you want another one!"
Customer: "No!"
me: "Okay!"
me: (in my head) I CRUSH YOU I CRUSH YOU I CRUSH YOU.