Three from Crash, this morning
Mom? If I have a substitute teacher, can I send a substitute student to school?
Sure. Who would you send?
Iggy Koopa. He would destroy them.
*****
Mom? Do you need a pencil?
I don't think so.
But what if you had a test and you didn't have a pencil?
I'd use a pen, I guess.
I'm going to put a pencil in your purse. Because you might need one, and then you'd be relieved that I snuck one in.
*****
Mom? I'm glad I'm a boy.
. . . okay. That's good.
(pause while I decide, okay, let's investigate this one.)
Why are you glad you're a boy?
Because when you're a boy you have a penis. If I didn't have one I wouldn't know how to pee.
(pause while I decide, too early to discuss this further and keep my mouth shut.)
*relieved sigh* So anyway, I'm glad I'm a boy.
Sure. Who would you send?
Iggy Koopa. He would destroy them.
*****
Mom? Do you need a pencil?
I don't think so.
But what if you had a test and you didn't have a pencil?
I'd use a pen, I guess.
I'm going to put a pencil in your purse. Because you might need one, and then you'd be relieved that I snuck one in.
*****
Mom? I'm glad I'm a boy.
. . . okay. That's good.
(pause while I decide, okay, let's investigate this one.)
Why are you glad you're a boy?
Because when you're a boy you have a penis. If I didn't have one I wouldn't know how to pee.
(pause while I decide, too early to discuss this further and keep my mouth shut.)
*relieved sigh* So anyway, I'm glad I'm a boy.