Broken
Title: Broken
Author: Wickedgrrl
Rating: PG for now.
Pairing: Otalia
Disclaimer: Don't own. By law, grad students have no money so please don't sue.
A/N: Un-beta'd. I do not know where this is going. We are all going to have to wait and see where it goes on its own.
It had been escalating. Voices getting louder, shoulders squaring for battle; Natalia just hoped Frank would never take a swing at a woman, especially being that it was Olivia. And Natalia prayed that Liv would keep her fists to herself as she stepped toe to toe with her erstwhile suitor. She had finally given Frank back the ring, while gently yet sternly declining his proposal of marriage (again). She had barely finished relaying the events to Olivia before the now all too familiar headlights turned up in their drive.
She knew she should stop this, should send Frank home and Olivia inside but the exes seemed to have a few bones to pick with each other about Phillip so she hadn’t interfered when Olivia blew past her out the door and jumped into confrontation. She could feel the stakes change as the tension began to crackle in the air. As she opened her mouth to intervene there was a shift in the verbal sparing match that caused her voice to catch in her throat. And Natalia’s world slowed down to her own thundering heartbeats, barely able to understand the words yet feeling every one of them pierce her…
“Why?”
“Why?”
“You heard me. You say you’re so in love with her, why?”
“Heh. Oh this is rich Olivia, you want to know why I’m in love with her, why don’t you tell me why are you?”
“Because. Because she when looks at me across the room I feel more alive than I have ever been. Because she amazes me everyday with her wit and her compassion, she has the most amazing mind. Because every morning I can’t wait to hear what she has to say and every night I lie awake wondering when I’m going to hear her laugh again. I’m a walking love sick cliché and I don’t care. I love her because when she looks at me all I can ever want is to be the person she sees behind my walls. I love her because she drives me completely crazy. She thinks she can’t do so many things, she is always settling for herself but when it comes to loving me and loving my kid she fights. Mostly with me. But she fights for the right to love me.”
Their dead lock stare was broken when they heard the slamming of the door. Olivia stood in shock as she realized all she had said, and not in a moment of tender regard but in a rage of anger and privilege. All this time she had held onto the words, cherished their significance and held them close in awe of their power. She felt her chin quiver as she fought to pull it back in and stuff the regret down. Frank would not get the gift of her vulnerability; she had already given him too much. As he began to step toward the farmhouse door in pursuit of his original prey that evening, Olivia took a deep breath and filled her voice with as much quiet malice as she could muster.
“Frank. Stop. You are not welcome in my home.”
The detective merely scoffed his reply, “this isn’t your home. It’s Natalia’s. And after that little display…”
“If you step one toe across that threshold I will call one of SPD’s finest to come arrest you for unlawful entry. You can argue your point in court. My daughter is in that house.”
Frank hesitated with his hand on the door. Olivia was calm. That was so much more unnerving than her typical maelstrom. Self-preservation took precedence and Frank took his leave casting a parting glance at the upstairs window where the shadow of a pacing Natalia moved like a metronome. A smug grin crept across his face, some day soon that room would be his to call home. For surely Olivia had just signed her own walking papers.
Chapter 2
Olivia stared at the clock and watched as another minute rolled over. She lost track how long she had been lying there willing time to start moving backwards. It seemed Natalia would remain the only superhero in the house. Finally admitting defeat, Olivia rolled her feet to the floor and began her morning routine. She’d write Emma a tardy note today. Gladly.
But Emma wasn’t sleeping soundly in her bed as she had expected. Olivia crossed the treacherous sea of toys and peered out the window. Rubbing her eyes at the sight of her daughter boarding the yellow school bus amidst the sea of white, she sighed and once again resigned herself to her fate. She needed to talk to Natalia. Now was the time. Olivia paused and took in the site of Natalia sitting at the table, her hair pulled into a loose ponytail at the back of her neck. Her hands lightly wrapped around a steaming cup of tea. Closing her eyes against the flood of feelings that Natalia managed to stir in her she took a deep breath and moved to pour hot water from the kettle. Staring into the rising steam she began, “Natalia, …”
“No. You wanted to talk? Then you should have come to me last night. I’m not going to belittle either of our intelligence and imply you didn’t mean any of what you said, because we both know you did.” Natalia paused, letting that truth settle between them before continuing, “But what I can’t get is that if you love me as much as you say you do, why am I continually not worthy to hear it from you? Frank gets to hear it, Jeffrey, Bill, Josh; they all get to hear it but what about me?”
“I never told Josh,” Olivia winced at her insolence, cursing herself for picking that trivial piece to answer to. Natalia deserved more from her that much was clear to everyone.
“You didn’t have to. It’s written all over your face whenever I walk in the room. At least that’s what he told me.”
Natalia took a sip of her tea, grateful as the warm liquid helped to ease the lump in her throat. For the first time that morning she turned and allowed their gaze to meet, “And thank you. For not denying the rest.”
Olivia waited. Waited for permission to answer for her failings, but it never came. Instead, her assistant pushed her seat from the table and cast a glance in her direction, “I pushed your schedule back a few hours, and you have a conference call at noon. I’ll see you at the office.”
Natalia gathered her coat and scarf not bothering to put them on before she closed the back door behind her.