(no subject)
I was watching TV last night, and saw a commercial for the radio station KOST 103.5. In case this is just an L.A. station and you are not in L.A., KOST is one of those office-friendly easy listening stations that plays endless loops of Celine Dion and Michael Bolton and others of that ilk. Sure, there are a few classic 80's hits and 70's lite-rock goodies thrown in for good measure, but most of the time it's all about Vanessa Williams, Josh Groban, and Shania Twain's latest crossover. There are also the prerequisite soft-spoken DJ's cooing about love song dedications over the soundtrack of waves gently crashing over what one can only assume is (of course) The Coast.
I've never paid too much attention to KOST. I hear it now and then in an elevator, or the grocery store, or around Christmastime (they have this gimmick where they play ALL Christmas music ALL the time from Thanksgiving to December 26th, if that isn't enough to send you to the funny farm). But this commercial I saw introduced an intriguing new catch phrase:
"KOST 103.5! It's like having a good friend in the car with you all the time!"
Hmmm, I thought. A good friend, huh? That might not be so bad, come to think of it. My friends and I have such different schedules, and for the most part live in different cities, that the days of having some random pal tool around with me in the car just to run errands or whatever are pretty few and far between. Perhaps this could work, maybe KOST was just what I needed to provide the missing link of constant friendship that I guess I've been lacking. I decided to test it out today, and have KOST accompany me on my daily adventures.
I started out bright and early, since I had a nail appointment this morning. I happily buckled myself into the car, and switched the radio to 103.5. I even made it a preset, so that KOST would know that my intentions were for a long-term friendship if it all worked out the way it was supposed to. KOST instantly greeted me with a blast of "Who's That Girl?" by Madonna.
"Quien es esta nina?" asked KOST musically.
"I dunno...you tell me!" I chortled. KOST was silent. Uh-oh...had I overstepped my boundaries? Had I tried to create a false sense of intimacy too soon with my little joke? I figured I'd back off a bit.
"Don't worry, this will be fun!" I assured KOST. KOST just kept on playing the song. Alright, fine...we barely knew each other, after all. A little hesitation is normal.
We arrived at my nail salon. "Do you want to come in, or do you want to wait here?" I asked KOST. I didn't want to be presumptuous. After all, the slogan was that KOST would be like having a good friend in the car with me, it didn't say anything about getting out of the car.
KOST didn't say much, just began warbling "Breathe" by Faith Hill. Ok, I can take a hint. Maybe KOST was nervous about how it might get along with the Vietnamese soap operas that are always playing inside my nail place. That's cool. I got out, making sure to leave the windows rolled down a bit so KOST wouldn't suffocate.
I trotted back out in about 30 minutes, French manicure gleaming. "How'd it go in here?" I asked cheerfully. KOST responded with a dirgelike horn solo by Kenny G.
"That bad, huh? Well, maybe you're just hungry. How 'bout we swing by Subway?" I drove to the Subway in the same shopping center and parked. "I'll be right back, what can I get you?"
KOST just kept on droning Kenny G. I decided that must mean "surprise me", and off I went. When I returned, I had a 6-inch tuna sub for myself, and a bag of Baked Lay's and a cookie for KOST...I got the idea that KOST wasn't a very big eater. I deposited the snacks on the passenger seat, where I imagined KOST was sitting, and waited for a thank-you.
What I got was an earful of the Mariah Carey/Luther Vandross version of "Endless Love". Wait...was KOST professing its love for me?? Slow down there, amigo...it's way too soon! Now I started feeling uneasy, and shifted a few inches closer to my side of the car.
KOST immediately started to play "I Try" by Macy Gray. Uh-oh, it must have noticed my edginess. Was KOST on to me? I'd better play this cool. "Ok, I have one more stop to make before work," I chirped, trying to sound upbeat. "I need to go to Mervyn's and return these sterling silver heart-shaped hoop earrings I bought yesterday. One of 'em broke before I even got it off of the package, can you believe it?" I laughed nervously as KOST kept on singing its anthem of unrequited love. When I got to Mervyn's, I jumped out of the car and raced inside before KOST could totally lose it. But oh no...as I walked into the store, what did I hear playing on the overhead speakers but "I TRY" by MACY GRAY!!! KOST had FOLLOWED me INSIDE!!!
That did it. Good friend in the car with me all the time or not, this was just too much pressure. I quickly took care of my transaction, hurried back to my car, and before switching on the stereo I slid my copy of "Guero" by Beck into the CD player.
I felt bad having to leave KOST stranded there at Mervyn's, but what can you do? I guess sometimes radio stations just aren't "good friend" material. Oh well, live and learn.
I've never paid too much attention to KOST. I hear it now and then in an elevator, or the grocery store, or around Christmastime (they have this gimmick where they play ALL Christmas music ALL the time from Thanksgiving to December 26th, if that isn't enough to send you to the funny farm). But this commercial I saw introduced an intriguing new catch phrase:
"KOST 103.5! It's like having a good friend in the car with you all the time!"
Hmmm, I thought. A good friend, huh? That might not be so bad, come to think of it. My friends and I have such different schedules, and for the most part live in different cities, that the days of having some random pal tool around with me in the car just to run errands or whatever are pretty few and far between. Perhaps this could work, maybe KOST was just what I needed to provide the missing link of constant friendship that I guess I've been lacking. I decided to test it out today, and have KOST accompany me on my daily adventures.
I started out bright and early, since I had a nail appointment this morning. I happily buckled myself into the car, and switched the radio to 103.5. I even made it a preset, so that KOST would know that my intentions were for a long-term friendship if it all worked out the way it was supposed to. KOST instantly greeted me with a blast of "Who's That Girl?" by Madonna.
"Quien es esta nina?" asked KOST musically.
"I dunno...you tell me!" I chortled. KOST was silent. Uh-oh...had I overstepped my boundaries? Had I tried to create a false sense of intimacy too soon with my little joke? I figured I'd back off a bit.
"Don't worry, this will be fun!" I assured KOST. KOST just kept on playing the song. Alright, fine...we barely knew each other, after all. A little hesitation is normal.
We arrived at my nail salon. "Do you want to come in, or do you want to wait here?" I asked KOST. I didn't want to be presumptuous. After all, the slogan was that KOST would be like having a good friend in the car with me, it didn't say anything about getting out of the car.
KOST didn't say much, just began warbling "Breathe" by Faith Hill. Ok, I can take a hint. Maybe KOST was nervous about how it might get along with the Vietnamese soap operas that are always playing inside my nail place. That's cool. I got out, making sure to leave the windows rolled down a bit so KOST wouldn't suffocate.
I trotted back out in about 30 minutes, French manicure gleaming. "How'd it go in here?" I asked cheerfully. KOST responded with a dirgelike horn solo by Kenny G.
"That bad, huh? Well, maybe you're just hungry. How 'bout we swing by Subway?" I drove to the Subway in the same shopping center and parked. "I'll be right back, what can I get you?"
KOST just kept on droning Kenny G. I decided that must mean "surprise me", and off I went. When I returned, I had a 6-inch tuna sub for myself, and a bag of Baked Lay's and a cookie for KOST...I got the idea that KOST wasn't a very big eater. I deposited the snacks on the passenger seat, where I imagined KOST was sitting, and waited for a thank-you.
What I got was an earful of the Mariah Carey/Luther Vandross version of "Endless Love". Wait...was KOST professing its love for me?? Slow down there, amigo...it's way too soon! Now I started feeling uneasy, and shifted a few inches closer to my side of the car.
KOST immediately started to play "I Try" by Macy Gray. Uh-oh, it must have noticed my edginess. Was KOST on to me? I'd better play this cool. "Ok, I have one more stop to make before work," I chirped, trying to sound upbeat. "I need to go to Mervyn's and return these sterling silver heart-shaped hoop earrings I bought yesterday. One of 'em broke before I even got it off of the package, can you believe it?" I laughed nervously as KOST kept on singing its anthem of unrequited love. When I got to Mervyn's, I jumped out of the car and raced inside before KOST could totally lose it. But oh no...as I walked into the store, what did I hear playing on the overhead speakers but "I TRY" by MACY GRAY!!! KOST had FOLLOWED me INSIDE!!!
That did it. Good friend in the car with me all the time or not, this was just too much pressure. I quickly took care of my transaction, hurried back to my car, and before switching on the stereo I slid my copy of "Guero" by Beck into the CD player.
I felt bad having to leave KOST stranded there at Mervyn's, but what can you do? I guess sometimes radio stations just aren't "good friend" material. Oh well, live and learn.