The Self and the Other World
Title: The Self and the Other World
Author: Angel Leviathan
Disclaimer: Wicked, the characters, concept, etc, aren't mine.
Rating: PG
Verse: Book
Prompt Name: Despair
Summary: "Blue diamonds make me feel sick with guilt and glitter makes me want to cry and scream at the same time. I can’t explain any of it, but it’s all there.”
Notes: Could be a part of beenhere_before when it opens, if that explains the general idea behind the fic.
The Glinda that appeared in the doorway at midday did not match the one who had left earlier that morning. Upon leaving, there had been gold curls set perfectly in place, white heels and a powder blue corset dress. Now, in place of previous attire, there were grey smudged shoes, curls in disarray and a dress that looked as if it had been half-dipped in the wrong vat of dye. Bright blue eyes had dimmed to a near black of disappointment and Glinda dragged her feet as she crossed the room and collapsed on her bed.
Elphaba had only intended to glance up from her essay, but she paused and stared before her brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. “What happened to you?” she questioned.
The blonde was prying off one of her ruined shoes. “A spell backfired,” she replied. “Or got away from me, rather...I’m not quite sure what happened, really. One minute I was reigning the power in and the next... Well, I’m sure Milla is regretting taking a sorcery module as an elective; the force hit her before it hit me and her outfit is completely ruined.”
Her roommate looked her up and down. “You wouldn’t call your own attire ‘completely ruined’?”
“This can be cut and re-stitched into a skirt and corset, if needs must. There’s not a lot you can do about a gaping hole across the chest of an outfit, however.”
Elphaba shrugged and dismissed the thought; what did she know about dresses anyway? “And the spell?” she asked. “What did you intend to do?”
Glinda dragged a dirtied ribbon from her hair and sighed. “Oh, that. Well, it was supposed to allow you to see a few seconds into the future for a while, in-case you ever found yourself at odds with another magic-wielder or the like. I must have said the last words of the incantation wrong, because, well...” she gesticulated wildly, “’boom’.”
Brown eyes glazed over a little in thought. “I wonder...” she mused aloud. “Has anyone ever thought to examine how you perform a wide range of spells? I mean, considering how your incantations seem to end. It might not be that you’re saying them wrong; it could be some aspect of the power you harness or something to do with your body chemistry. How you concentrate, even.”
Glinda laughed. “I think it’s much more prudent to just admit that I’m not the greatest sorceress Shiz has ever been graced with.”
Elphaba twitched her shoulders again. “Still, it might be worth exploring. No need to just accept something if there’s a chance you can alter it.”
The tie-dyed dress pooled around Glinda’s feet as she stepped out of it and dove under the covers of her bed. “I,” she declared, “am going to get some sleep. I’ve no more classes today anyway. I’m exhausted.”
“See, you shouldn’t be so tired after a simple spell, either...”
“Oh, Elphie. Don’t search for excuses for my ineptness. You never allow excuses for yourself; what gives me the right to have reasons for failings?”
Elphaba merely sighed, shook her head, and returned to her essay.
-
Glinda lay perfectly - a little too perfectly - still as she slept, for all that her sleep was fitful and disturbed, despite her efforts to claw herself back to consciousness. On the outside, it seemed that her exhaustion had correctly sent her into a deep sleep, but her mind seemed to sweep through the world and jumble it all up, until none of it made any sense. Nothing was right and everything was wrong, most of all dear Elphaba, who was herself and yet an entirely different person in the same moment. The world of her agitated sleep was washed in the wrong, dull hues, and not even the green girl was quite that green any longer.
She found Ella sat on the edge of her bed, gripping the edge of the mattress and staring straight ahead. After six months of being forced to share a room at university, Gracie found she had learned to deal with her ghostly pale - almost sickly green - and unwanted roommate, but even now her strange moods had the ability to throw her. She tried not to care; she had no reason to cater to the girl’s emotions, considering all the time she spent with her friends, with drinking and nights on the town keeping her out of her roommate's company, but coming ‘home’ to find the strange young woman in some sort of trance was more than a little disturbing.
“Ella?” she called. Gracie waited a few moments. The girl didn’t so much as twitch. “Ella?” she repeated, at greater volume. Shaking her head, the blonde first-year rummaged around in her bag for her cell phone. Enough was enough. She never had any idea whether Ella was unwell or simply playing up. They rarely spoke. What if she had some unknown medical condition that nobody had thought to inform her of? What if she returned one day to find her dead on the floor?
“Grace?”
About to dial, Gracie hesitated, torn between stating that nobody called her ‘Grace’ and snapping at Ella for scaring her...again.
“What on earth do you think you’re playing at? There are people in these halls shooting up god knows what and you think it’s a laugh to mimic their zoned-out state? Terrify the dim girl, is that it? I might not be as bright as you, but there’s no need to exploit that.“
Dark eyes focused on blue and Ella raised her head, dragging back unkempt raven hair that hung around her face. “Something’s wrong,” she stated, voice low.
Gracie sighed and closed the door behind her. “...Did someone die? Did you fail a test?” For all she knew of Ella, both could be equally as damaging to the girl.
“No,” she growled, her grip on the mattress intensifying. “Nothing like that.”
Gracie flopped down onto her own bed. “Then what?”
“I don’t belong here.”
“Now, that’s not true,” she started to lie, in a bright voice.
“I don’t mean in emotional teenage angst terms, Grace, I mean in general, the world, this world, not the damned university.” Ella frowned, really looking at her roommate for the first time. “...You don't belong here either,” she breathed.
The pink-clad girl gawped at her. “Just what do you mean by that?” she demanded.
“It’s not meant to be offensive. I don’t mean I like you any less.”
Gracie blinked. Ella liked her?
“But there’s something....wrong,” Ella continued, her voice soft. “Something inside... I don’t understand. I know things from my lectures...and I’ve never heard them before. I can tell you exactly how a wing functions, the muscles, bones, everything, and I’ve never studied anything avian. I could tell you how to make another creature fly, when I know it’s impossible.” She straightened and gestured to a pair of black and white striped socks on the radiator. “I could tell you that I wear those because they remind me of my sister...but I have no siblings. Blue diamonds make me feel sick with guilt and glitter makes me want to cry and scream at the same time. I can’t explain any of it, but it’s all there.”
Talking of nausea, Gracie felt quite sick herself. She had shoved aside the thought that there was someone prominent missing from their room and tended to stop and stare whenever she came across roses, as if they held the answer. She knew Ella was terrified of the sea without asking, and the ocean even made her uncomfortable. She knew there was something lurking deep in Ella’s mind that scared her, and potential within herself that she couldn’t access no matter how hard she tried. What was going on? Perhaps they truly didn’t belong.
“It’s...driving me crazy. It’s nagging at me night and day. I can’t sleep, I can’t complete my assignments...something’s telling me I’ve done terrible things and I shouldn’t exist, let alone not belong.” Eyes wild, Ella backed up until she hit the wall, drew her knees to her chest and folded her arms over her head. “I can’t...I can’t...Glinda, make it stop, Glinda, please...”
Grace. Glinda. Gracie. Glinda, Glinda, Glinda... Grace.
Gracie bolted from the room, heart pounding and head spinning.
Glinda woke to darkness with a scream that managed to chill even Elphaba. Glitter and raven locks, Gracie and Ella and the spell, the future, the future, no, no. Dreams, imagination. The spell! All that power had to do something, go somewhere, be active in some form. Another world? There couldn’t be. Maybe Nessa was right, maybe magic was evil if it showed you such things.
“Glinda?” Elphaba called, peering over the top of her book from the corner she had jammed herself into, as per usual.
Glinda stared.
All she could see was Ella.
She shivered and swallowed another scream.
Fin
Author: Angel Leviathan
Disclaimer: Wicked, the characters, concept, etc, aren't mine.
Rating: PG
Verse: Book
Prompt Name: Despair
Summary: "Blue diamonds make me feel sick with guilt and glitter makes me want to cry and scream at the same time. I can’t explain any of it, but it’s all there.”
Notes: Could be a part of beenhere_before when it opens, if that explains the general idea behind the fic.
The Glinda that appeared in the doorway at midday did not match the one who had left earlier that morning. Upon leaving, there had been gold curls set perfectly in place, white heels and a powder blue corset dress. Now, in place of previous attire, there were grey smudged shoes, curls in disarray and a dress that looked as if it had been half-dipped in the wrong vat of dye. Bright blue eyes had dimmed to a near black of disappointment and Glinda dragged her feet as she crossed the room and collapsed on her bed.
Elphaba had only intended to glance up from her essay, but she paused and stared before her brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. “What happened to you?” she questioned.
The blonde was prying off one of her ruined shoes. “A spell backfired,” she replied. “Or got away from me, rather...I’m not quite sure what happened, really. One minute I was reigning the power in and the next... Well, I’m sure Milla is regretting taking a sorcery module as an elective; the force hit her before it hit me and her outfit is completely ruined.”
Her roommate looked her up and down. “You wouldn’t call your own attire ‘completely ruined’?”
“This can be cut and re-stitched into a skirt and corset, if needs must. There’s not a lot you can do about a gaping hole across the chest of an outfit, however.”
Elphaba shrugged and dismissed the thought; what did she know about dresses anyway? “And the spell?” she asked. “What did you intend to do?”
Glinda dragged a dirtied ribbon from her hair and sighed. “Oh, that. Well, it was supposed to allow you to see a few seconds into the future for a while, in-case you ever found yourself at odds with another magic-wielder or the like. I must have said the last words of the incantation wrong, because, well...” she gesticulated wildly, “’boom’.”
Brown eyes glazed over a little in thought. “I wonder...” she mused aloud. “Has anyone ever thought to examine how you perform a wide range of spells? I mean, considering how your incantations seem to end. It might not be that you’re saying them wrong; it could be some aspect of the power you harness or something to do with your body chemistry. How you concentrate, even.”
Glinda laughed. “I think it’s much more prudent to just admit that I’m not the greatest sorceress Shiz has ever been graced with.”
Elphaba twitched her shoulders again. “Still, it might be worth exploring. No need to just accept something if there’s a chance you can alter it.”
The tie-dyed dress pooled around Glinda’s feet as she stepped out of it and dove under the covers of her bed. “I,” she declared, “am going to get some sleep. I’ve no more classes today anyway. I’m exhausted.”
“See, you shouldn’t be so tired after a simple spell, either...”
“Oh, Elphie. Don’t search for excuses for my ineptness. You never allow excuses for yourself; what gives me the right to have reasons for failings?”
Elphaba merely sighed, shook her head, and returned to her essay.
-
Glinda lay perfectly - a little too perfectly - still as she slept, for all that her sleep was fitful and disturbed, despite her efforts to claw herself back to consciousness. On the outside, it seemed that her exhaustion had correctly sent her into a deep sleep, but her mind seemed to sweep through the world and jumble it all up, until none of it made any sense. Nothing was right and everything was wrong, most of all dear Elphaba, who was herself and yet an entirely different person in the same moment. The world of her agitated sleep was washed in the wrong, dull hues, and not even the green girl was quite that green any longer.
She found Ella sat on the edge of her bed, gripping the edge of the mattress and staring straight ahead. After six months of being forced to share a room at university, Gracie found she had learned to deal with her ghostly pale - almost sickly green - and unwanted roommate, but even now her strange moods had the ability to throw her. She tried not to care; she had no reason to cater to the girl’s emotions, considering all the time she spent with her friends, with drinking and nights on the town keeping her out of her roommate's company, but coming ‘home’ to find the strange young woman in some sort of trance was more than a little disturbing.
“Ella?” she called. Gracie waited a few moments. The girl didn’t so much as twitch. “Ella?” she repeated, at greater volume. Shaking her head, the blonde first-year rummaged around in her bag for her cell phone. Enough was enough. She never had any idea whether Ella was unwell or simply playing up. They rarely spoke. What if she had some unknown medical condition that nobody had thought to inform her of? What if she returned one day to find her dead on the floor?
“Grace?”
About to dial, Gracie hesitated, torn between stating that nobody called her ‘Grace’ and snapping at Ella for scaring her...again.
“What on earth do you think you’re playing at? There are people in these halls shooting up god knows what and you think it’s a laugh to mimic their zoned-out state? Terrify the dim girl, is that it? I might not be as bright as you, but there’s no need to exploit that.“
Dark eyes focused on blue and Ella raised her head, dragging back unkempt raven hair that hung around her face. “Something’s wrong,” she stated, voice low.
Gracie sighed and closed the door behind her. “...Did someone die? Did you fail a test?” For all she knew of Ella, both could be equally as damaging to the girl.
“No,” she growled, her grip on the mattress intensifying. “Nothing like that.”
Gracie flopped down onto her own bed. “Then what?”
“I don’t belong here.”
“Now, that’s not true,” she started to lie, in a bright voice.
“I don’t mean in emotional teenage angst terms, Grace, I mean in general, the world, this world, not the damned university.” Ella frowned, really looking at her roommate for the first time. “...You don't belong here either,” she breathed.
The pink-clad girl gawped at her. “Just what do you mean by that?” she demanded.
“It’s not meant to be offensive. I don’t mean I like you any less.”
Gracie blinked. Ella liked her?
“But there’s something....wrong,” Ella continued, her voice soft. “Something inside... I don’t understand. I know things from my lectures...and I’ve never heard them before. I can tell you exactly how a wing functions, the muscles, bones, everything, and I’ve never studied anything avian. I could tell you how to make another creature fly, when I know it’s impossible.” She straightened and gestured to a pair of black and white striped socks on the radiator. “I could tell you that I wear those because they remind me of my sister...but I have no siblings. Blue diamonds make me feel sick with guilt and glitter makes me want to cry and scream at the same time. I can’t explain any of it, but it’s all there.”
Talking of nausea, Gracie felt quite sick herself. She had shoved aside the thought that there was someone prominent missing from their room and tended to stop and stare whenever she came across roses, as if they held the answer. She knew Ella was terrified of the sea without asking, and the ocean even made her uncomfortable. She knew there was something lurking deep in Ella’s mind that scared her, and potential within herself that she couldn’t access no matter how hard she tried. What was going on? Perhaps they truly didn’t belong.
“It’s...driving me crazy. It’s nagging at me night and day. I can’t sleep, I can’t complete my assignments...something’s telling me I’ve done terrible things and I shouldn’t exist, let alone not belong.” Eyes wild, Ella backed up until she hit the wall, drew her knees to her chest and folded her arms over her head. “I can’t...I can’t...Glinda, make it stop, Glinda, please...”
Grace. Glinda. Gracie. Glinda, Glinda, Glinda... Grace.
Gracie bolted from the room, heart pounding and head spinning.
Glinda woke to darkness with a scream that managed to chill even Elphaba. Glitter and raven locks, Gracie and Ella and the spell, the future, the future, no, no. Dreams, imagination. The spell! All that power had to do something, go somewhere, be active in some form. Another world? There couldn’t be. Maybe Nessa was right, maybe magic was evil if it showed you such things.
“Glinda?” Elphaba called, peering over the top of her book from the corner she had jammed herself into, as per usual.
Glinda stared.
All she could see was Ella.
She shivered and swallowed another scream.
Fin