Caught in the symmetry of your mind
I woke up with a start, heartbeat racing, breath quick and catching. Sitting up in bed, I wondered what it was I had been dreaming about. It wasn't often that I had a nightmare that I didn't remember, or like ever.
Looking around slowly, I sat there for a minute waiting for my heart rate to slow down to at least a somewhat normal pace. Once it had I realized where I was. Wasn't crashed out on Wesley's bed, or Kennedy's guest room, or a hospital bed somewhere with watchers standing over my bed. Was back at the Hyperion cause the smurf and Wes had come to bail me out.
Could still see the look on Robin's face right as Wesley had pulled the trigger. Over and over in my head, seein' how many different ways I could've stopped Wesley from killing him. Honestly, deep down I was glad to be rid of him. I knew he'd never give up, always come chasin' me. Fuck, he sent Ken after me when I tried to bail out. I tried. I tried so fucking hard to remember how my relationship with him was before things started takin' a nosedive downhill. It was good, really fucking good. The best thing I thought I'd ever have, and I never did have much.
Pushing the thought out of my head, I climbed out of bed and walked to the window. Peering outside I saw that it was dark out. How long had I been asleep for anyway? Hours? Days? Who the fuck could even keep track anymore. Time sorta all blends together when you're slowly goin' crazy.
Getting up I was feeling the urge for some nicotine hardcore. Those stupid doctors wouldn't even let me smoke, even when I pleaded with them. What's the big fucking deal, they already kidnapped me, why couldn't I have a stoge? Patting down my pockets I realized I didn't have smokes, didn't have much of anything anymore. Bettin' Spike still had a pack downstairs...
Walking downstairs, the hotel looked empty and kinda spooky. Ya know, if I was spooked easily or something. Figured everyone would be in bed or out gettin' themselves killed bein' heroic, but there was a small light on in the office. Knocking lightly at the door, I walked in to find Wesley looking over some books.
"Man, do you ever sleep?" I asked curiously, as I rooted around on the desk for Spike's smokes.
Looking around slowly, I sat there for a minute waiting for my heart rate to slow down to at least a somewhat normal pace. Once it had I realized where I was. Wasn't crashed out on Wesley's bed, or Kennedy's guest room, or a hospital bed somewhere with watchers standing over my bed. Was back at the Hyperion cause the smurf and Wes had come to bail me out.
Could still see the look on Robin's face right as Wesley had pulled the trigger. Over and over in my head, seein' how many different ways I could've stopped Wesley from killing him. Honestly, deep down I was glad to be rid of him. I knew he'd never give up, always come chasin' me. Fuck, he sent Ken after me when I tried to bail out. I tried. I tried so fucking hard to remember how my relationship with him was before things started takin' a nosedive downhill. It was good, really fucking good. The best thing I thought I'd ever have, and I never did have much.
Pushing the thought out of my head, I climbed out of bed and walked to the window. Peering outside I saw that it was dark out. How long had I been asleep for anyway? Hours? Days? Who the fuck could even keep track anymore. Time sorta all blends together when you're slowly goin' crazy.
Getting up I was feeling the urge for some nicotine hardcore. Those stupid doctors wouldn't even let me smoke, even when I pleaded with them. What's the big fucking deal, they already kidnapped me, why couldn't I have a stoge? Patting down my pockets I realized I didn't have smokes, didn't have much of anything anymore. Bettin' Spike still had a pack downstairs...
Walking downstairs, the hotel looked empty and kinda spooky. Ya know, if I was spooked easily or something. Figured everyone would be in bed or out gettin' themselves killed bein' heroic, but there was a small light on in the office. Knocking lightly at the door, I walked in to find Wesley looking over some books.
"Man, do you ever sleep?" I asked curiously, as I rooted around on the desk for Spike's smokes.