Hasty Retreats

[buffys_bitch]

Percy urges us to leave without him and who am I to argue with the boss? I grab Fred by the arm and signal for us to move out. No sense in repeating the deaths we'd just lived through. Cordy looks reluctant but I call out to her

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[buffys_bitch]

"Um, I'm not sure...try again and then I'll let you know."

Fred smiles at me, doesn't punch me or push me away. She actually smiles at me. And tells me to do it again. It feels odd. Shouldn't she be calling me names now or pulling away from me? Or biting my neck?

Suddenly I want this so badly I feel an ache deep in my gut. How long has it been? How long since I had anyone look at me like that?
I move in to her and we fall slowly onto the bed. She's so warm to the touch, and I love the feel of her body pressing against me.

I lean in again to kiss her slightly parted lips, trying to do it as gently and tenderly as I can. This is all new to her right? Gotta go slow, make everything good for her. No hurting the girl. Funny thing though, it feels all new to me too.

Fred's mouth opens to mine and I kiss her more deeply, feeling her respond beneath me. She wants me too, I'm not imagining it. Her hands and lips tell me so. I pull back for a moment and just look at her, into her eyes. Her face is flushed and she's breathing a little shallowly. I stroke her cheek, and flash her a cocky grin.

"So, that Angel memory you were talking about? I hope it's slipped off the 'best of' list now."

[fredburkle]

Everything was spinning, but it wasn't because of the vodka. I smiled up at him and nodded, "Angel who?" I saw his answering grin just before he bent down to kiss me again. His lips were soft and tender, kind of cold, but I could barely feel that, because I was so hot. I ran my hands up his neck and kissed him hard and deep.

If I had to guess, I'd say that kissing was one of those instinctual things. I'd never done it before, but here I was kissing Spike like an old pro. Or at least I think I was a pro. I probably sucked, and he was just too nice to tell me. I was about to pull away when he did something with his hands that made me moan and pull him closer.

[buffys_bitch]

She's kissing me hungrily, christ! the mouth on her... tastes so sweet and so good.

My hands roam down her back and settle on her backside, squeezing her there and pulling her hips closer to mine. She moans and it excites me to no end, I break away from the kiss and start to trail kisses down the side of her slender neck, sucking at the tender spot where her throat meets her collar bone. My teeth graze her skin but they are blunt, not fanged. Tempting, but I hold myself in check.

I gently grind my hips into her, letting her feel how aroused she makes me, but I still hold back, taking everything as slowly as I can. Give her the chance to back out at any time.

[fredburkle]

I groaned softly, kissing him back slow and deep. I felt his hips pushing against me and even though I knew what he wanted, I didn't really have any memories of actually having sex. I felt virginial and maybe technically I was and it really sort of freaked me out. I pulled away from Spike and whispered, "I'm...I...I'm just not ready...yet."

I didn't want him to think I didn't want him, because my entire body was screaming YES! TAKE ME! But my mind, my stupid stupid mind, wouldn't have been able to handle it right now. We'd died today, literally and were staying in a hotel where humans were in the minority. Add to that a big heaping of sex with a vampire, and you've got yourself one freaked out Fredly.

I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning my head back on the bed. "I'm sorry, Spike. I think this might sound pretty cliche, but...it's honestly not you. I just...I.." I sighed and opened my eyes and looked into his. "I'm just...scared. I don't even barely know who I am...and if I want to give myself to you, even just physically, I...well I just guess I should know myself first."

I closed my eyes again and whispered, "I'm so sorry." I hoped he didn't hate me now, especially since he was supposed to be protecting me. But more than that, because I genually liked Spike. He was one of the good ones, even being a vampire and all. He had a soul and he was a champion. I just hoped I hadn't really hurt his feelings.

[buffys_bitch]

"I'm...I...I'm just not ready...yet."

Fred pulls away, and speaks her words with a tiny voice, like she's afraid of how I'll react.

"I'm sorry, Spike. ...it's honestly not you....I'm just...scared. I don't even barely know who I am...and if I want to give myself to you, even just physically, I...well I just guess I should know myself first...I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, there's nothing at all to be sorry for, Fred."

I do my best to hide my disappointment with a half-smile and a caress of her cheek before I roll onto my back, over on my side of the bed. And being the dolt that I am, I'd forgotten that my back was still a mess of bullet holes and have to sit up again, trying not to curse.

I think I'd pushed her too far, made her panic. I'd felt Fred's heart racing when I'd lain on top of her, pressed my body against hers. Now I wonder if it had been as much out of fear as excitement. My thoughts go back to the things I'd done before, unspeakable things to other women.

Not wanting to dwell on it, I stood up abruptly and went to check the locks on the door again, and look out the half boarded up window onto the street. For an east facing room, the window cover was shoddily done, and sunlight would probably still spill through onto the bed. I'd have to sleep in the corner of the room furthest away from the window to be safe.

"You get some rest pet, I'll bed down here." I murmured, sitting down next to the door and pulling out a pack of smokes and starting to light one.