Elohai!
My co-worker, Annie, brought her baby to work today. Aww, such a dumpling! I worked a half hour more than usual today... I didn't go home. I went straight to that Arabic class which I had signed up for. The Arabic class was fine.. just half hour of actual study. Then the other class came in, and we talked about our schools and teachers. Turns out one of them was from Arab Unity School. Ah, the hate!
Phrases I learnt in Arabic:
Shoo shoghalak/shoghol ma-lak? - What's your job/ What do you work as?
Ana bitibda shogholi es'sa'ah tamaniyah - I start my work at 8 'o' clock.
- Apparently, they don't use the grammitical word for 'what' [maaza or maa] in everyday communication. The use the word shoo. It makes it sound like a shoe sale or something.
I'll stop boring now. Anyways, I got home around 1730. Treated myself to some internet-surfing. Then I watered the plants and after that I practised some more Hebrew. I dunno if it's a good idea to learn 2 Semitic languages at once. But I do wanna soak up as much Hebrew as I can by the end of the summer holidays.
Now to the point of this entry. Hold your breath, everyone...
... my dad knows about my sexuality ..... you may breathe now :)
It started out with him coming into my room and telling me that he'd seen the address of some porno site in my browser's history. That was all fine, I reasoned that I was a growing teenaged boy and that it was like a pastime and not an indulgence. Then he told me something like 'You're not on the right path, you're doing all these things and you're reading stupid books about homosexuality and lesbians" .. and I asked him, "So, what would you do if I was one of them?"
I saw fear on his face when I said that. He told me that I'd made him even more depressed now. I tried to explain that it's something I have from birth and I'm ok with it.. so he should be too. But he kept going on about how he wanted me to live a "normal life" and be happy. He still doesn't wanna face the fact that his son can be different. He doesn't want to face the truth. Allah! I told him to get rid of the fear, because fear, as my friend Daniel once wrote, is the root of every negative aspect about us.
I told him how some parents disown their kids and throw them out of the house for being gay and that's when I heard him choking on tears. I saw his eyes go red. His eyes were glistening :( I didn't wanna hurt his feelings by making him think that I thought he was gonna kick me out and/or disown me. I don't think I've ever seen this side of him. And I'm not particularly glad that I brought it out. My mom heard a bit of the conversation too, but I don't think she grasped the whole thing. End of the conversation, he thought [and still thinks] that I'm gay, not bisexual; he still wanted me to be happy by leading a normal life.. when I said it probably wasn't normal for me, he argued that it might change and that I could sacrifice this much for them.
After this little talk, I was really worried that he might do something rash.. to himself, so I called him away from Sarah and I requested him to not do anything violent. He reassured me, saying that he's not that kind of a person. I just hope he gets over this fact and accepts it soon so that it doesn't affect his health or temperament.
Phrases I learnt in Arabic:
Shoo shoghalak/shoghol ma-lak? - What's your job/ What do you work as?
Ana bitibda shogholi es'sa'ah tamaniyah - I start my work at 8 'o' clock.
- Apparently, they don't use the grammitical word for 'what' [maaza or maa] in everyday communication. The use the word shoo. It makes it sound like a shoe sale or something.
I'll stop boring now. Anyways, I got home around 1730. Treated myself to some internet-surfing. Then I watered the plants and after that I practised some more Hebrew. I dunno if it's a good idea to learn 2 Semitic languages at once. But I do wanna soak up as much Hebrew as I can by the end of the summer holidays.
Now to the point of this entry. Hold your breath, everyone...
... my dad knows about my sexuality ..... you may breathe now :)
It started out with him coming into my room and telling me that he'd seen the address of some porno site in my browser's history. That was all fine, I reasoned that I was a growing teenaged boy and that it was like a pastime and not an indulgence. Then he told me something like 'You're not on the right path, you're doing all these things and you're reading stupid books about homosexuality and lesbians" .. and I asked him, "So, what would you do if I was one of them?"
I saw fear on his face when I said that. He told me that I'd made him even more depressed now. I tried to explain that it's something I have from birth and I'm ok with it.. so he should be too. But he kept going on about how he wanted me to live a "normal life" and be happy. He still doesn't wanna face the fact that his son can be different. He doesn't want to face the truth. Allah! I told him to get rid of the fear, because fear, as my friend Daniel once wrote, is the root of every negative aspect about us.
I told him how some parents disown their kids and throw them out of the house for being gay and that's when I heard him choking on tears. I saw his eyes go red. His eyes were glistening :( I didn't wanna hurt his feelings by making him think that I thought he was gonna kick me out and/or disown me. I don't think I've ever seen this side of him. And I'm not particularly glad that I brought it out. My mom heard a bit of the conversation too, but I don't think she grasped the whole thing. End of the conversation, he thought [and still thinks] that I'm gay, not bisexual; he still wanted me to be happy by leading a normal life.. when I said it probably wasn't normal for me, he argued that it might change and that I could sacrifice this much for them.
After this little talk, I was really worried that he might do something rash.. to himself, so I called him away from Sarah and I requested him to not do anything violent. He reassured me, saying that he's not that kind of a person. I just hope he gets over this fact and accepts it soon so that it doesn't affect his health or temperament.