The element of surprise
Recently, I (re)discovered the art of coming out of the closet. This was due to a combination of awkward questions about girls and my own compulsion to "tell the truth", a habit that, ironically, may have been drummed into me in my Islamic Studies class at school.
I am no stranger to closets (said he of the poor dress sense). I have had to come out to various groups of people as a vegetarian, an atheist, a Hebrew-speaker, and oh, as gay. The reactions to all of them have ranged from non-chalant 'Oh right's, to tight-lipped, wide-eyed nods masking a profound horror, to questions about my sanity.
But not long ago, I was in the company of some bona fide straight blokes who were, until then, unaware of my inclinations. We were intellectually discussing the group of Latin American girls that we had met the night before, with the guys admiring bust sizes, facial features, and even personality traits. Throughout this discussion, I was sitting on the sofa smiling, biting my tongue, patiently waiting for the brownies to bake and the topic to change.
Suddenly one of them, who was standing in the balcony smoking, turned to me and asked, "What about you bro, what's your story? You have a girlfriend?"
"Nah.. I don't.."
"Really? You've never had one?"
A short pause followed.
"Erm, I bat for the other team," I said, decidedly not beating around the bush.
"Oh," replied one of them, having understood the expression. He took a long drag from his cigarette, as if contemplating a better response.
I had to be more explicit with the other one: "I am gay."
What followed was the standard barrage of questions - do you have a boyfriend, does your family know, have you really never fancied a girl etc., - which I patiently answered whilst scraping the slightly burnt brownie off the baking tray.
I've been 'out' for over seven years now. I am well past the Tell-Everyone-On-The-Street phase and I now view my sexual orientation as just another part of my biology, rather than a defining feature of my character. 'Coming out' to someone new usually doesn't arouse such awkwardness in me.
But this time, it was different. I don't know why, I wasn't too comfortable at first telling these (straight) guys. I guess I just cared about my friendship with them and didn't want to give them a rude shock. But a (smallish) rude shock now is better than a bigger shock later on.
Later that night, before we went out for a party, one of the (allegedly) straight guys berated me for wearing mismatched clothes and footwear and proceeded to give me fashion advice. It was my turn to be shocked!
I am no stranger to closets (said he of the poor dress sense). I have had to come out to various groups of people as a vegetarian, an atheist, a Hebrew-speaker, and oh, as gay. The reactions to all of them have ranged from non-chalant 'Oh right's, to tight-lipped, wide-eyed nods masking a profound horror, to questions about my sanity.
But not long ago, I was in the company of some bona fide straight blokes who were, until then, unaware of my inclinations. We were intellectually discussing the group of Latin American girls that we had met the night before, with the guys admiring bust sizes, facial features, and even personality traits. Throughout this discussion, I was sitting on the sofa smiling, biting my tongue, patiently waiting for the brownies to bake and the topic to change.
Suddenly one of them, who was standing in the balcony smoking, turned to me and asked, "What about you bro, what's your story? You have a girlfriend?"
"Nah.. I don't.."
"Really? You've never had one?"
A short pause followed.
"Erm, I bat for the other team," I said, decidedly not beating around the bush.
"Oh," replied one of them, having understood the expression. He took a long drag from his cigarette, as if contemplating a better response.
I had to be more explicit with the other one: "I am gay."
What followed was the standard barrage of questions - do you have a boyfriend, does your family know, have you really never fancied a girl etc., - which I patiently answered whilst scraping the slightly burnt brownie off the baking tray.
I've been 'out' for over seven years now. I am well past the Tell-Everyone-On-The-Street phase and I now view my sexual orientation as just another part of my biology, rather than a defining feature of my character. 'Coming out' to someone new usually doesn't arouse such awkwardness in me.
But this time, it was different. I don't know why, I wasn't too comfortable at first telling these (straight) guys. I guess I just cared about my friendship with them and didn't want to give them a rude shock. But a (smallish) rude shock now is better than a bigger shock later on.
Later that night, before we went out for a party, one of the (allegedly) straight guys berated me for wearing mismatched clothes and footwear and proceeded to give me fashion advice. It was my turn to be shocked!