First day on the job
"रुक जाना नहीँ तू कहीँ हार के, कांटोँ पे चलके मिलेंगे साएँ बहार के.."
"Don't give up yet, feeling broken-hearted; only after treading the path of thorns will you find the shades of spring.."
-- Majrooh Sultanpuri, from his song Ruk Jaana Nahi
Today was my first day of work at the research lab where I will be doing a study for the next six months.
I braved the -3°C bone-chill to walk to the lab, wearing a crisp, ironed shirt and (very lightly) polished shoes, among other things. When I got there, my ever-smiling supervisor showed me to my desk where I would spend the next seven or so hours. There was a computer, a chair and a phone. And lots of space.
The work was.. confusing. Before I begin the study, I have to sift through the methods and results of previous studies around my topic and decide what I want to measure/test in my subjects and how best to do it. I didn't know where to begin looking. My supervisor helpfully gave me a few papers which I decided to ignore for the time being. And then she gave me more papers. And more. I started looking through papers, not entirely sure what I was looking for. Despite having read around the topic before and despite having been to the lab before to observe, I didn't feel like I had a grasp of things; I didn't feel like I was in control. More than once, I doubted my own capability to do this project. But I can do it.
Before long, I decided it was time to get some coffee.
Someone forgot an 'a' there..
I must have downed at least two liters of boiled water with various concentrations of caffeine and sweetener stirred in. If I wasn't addicted to the stuff before now, my placement at this lab will definitely hammer the addiction into place. I did get some work done - I made a list! (It's what medical students do best). I even had a chat with my supervisor about a couple of theories about vision, just to look smart.
My supervisor and people on neighboring desks are really nice. Being a master's student, I'm quite possibly the lowest person in the pecking order, but no one makes me feel inferior (I do anyway!). It's great to be around people who are from different backgrounds but kind of working on the same thing as I am.
My desk is strategically located so neither the photocopier (God) nor the all-important kitchen (the temple) are too far away from me. When my eyes grow tired of staring at black and white text, I look up and see my reflection in the skylight. It's great for feeding my narcissism. Then a crane moves through my reflection; I snap out of it and go back to work.
Last night I had an odd dream. I dreamt I had fallen out of a plane or a space shuttle or something. I fell without a parachute, I could see myself falling towards Africa. It was dark, because I was falling at night, but I could see that I was falling into the forests of south-west Africa (if there are any forests there!). I was scared, thinking I was probably going to die in the forest, either by starving or getting eaten. And I really didn't want to die. So when I landed, uninjured (the trees cushioned my fall), I got up and walked straight out of the forest into a nearby town. I think my experience with this study in this lab is going to be similar - I might be confused and scared at first, and feel like I'm falling through a dark void.. but I will land, and I will get up and go out into the light.
"Don't give up yet, feeling broken-hearted; only after treading the path of thorns will you find the shades of spring.."
-- Majrooh Sultanpuri, from his song Ruk Jaana Nahi
Today was my first day of work at the research lab where I will be doing a study for the next six months.
I braved the -3°C bone-chill to walk to the lab, wearing a crisp, ironed shirt and (very lightly) polished shoes, among other things. When I got there, my ever-smiling supervisor showed me to my desk where I would spend the next seven or so hours. There was a computer, a chair and a phone. And lots of space.
The work was.. confusing. Before I begin the study, I have to sift through the methods and results of previous studies around my topic and decide what I want to measure/test in my subjects and how best to do it. I didn't know where to begin looking. My supervisor helpfully gave me a few papers which I decided to ignore for the time being. And then she gave me more papers. And more. I started looking through papers, not entirely sure what I was looking for. Despite having read around the topic before and despite having been to the lab before to observe, I didn't feel like I had a grasp of things; I didn't feel like I was in control. More than once, I doubted my own capability to do this project. But I can do it.
Before long, I decided it was time to get some coffee.
Someone forgot an 'a' there..
I must have downed at least two liters of boiled water with various concentrations of caffeine and sweetener stirred in. If I wasn't addicted to the stuff before now, my placement at this lab will definitely hammer the addiction into place. I did get some work done - I made a list! (It's what medical students do best). I even had a chat with my supervisor about a couple of theories about vision, just to look smart.
My supervisor and people on neighboring desks are really nice. Being a master's student, I'm quite possibly the lowest person in the pecking order, but no one makes me feel inferior (I do anyway!). It's great to be around people who are from different backgrounds but kind of working on the same thing as I am.
My desk is strategically located so neither the photocopier (God) nor the all-important kitchen (the temple) are too far away from me. When my eyes grow tired of staring at black and white text, I look up and see my reflection in the skylight. It's great for feeding my narcissism. Then a crane moves through my reflection; I snap out of it and go back to work.
Last night I had an odd dream. I dreamt I had fallen out of a plane or a space shuttle or something. I fell without a parachute, I could see myself falling towards Africa. It was dark, because I was falling at night, but I could see that I was falling into the forests of south-west Africa (if there are any forests there!). I was scared, thinking I was probably going to die in the forest, either by starving or getting eaten. And I really didn't want to die. So when I landed, uninjured (the trees cushioned my fall), I got up and walked straight out of the forest into a nearby town. I think my experience with this study in this lab is going to be similar - I might be confused and scared at first, and feel like I'm falling through a dark void.. but I will land, and I will get up and go out into the light.