(no subject)
Life may not always go your way
And every once in awhile you might have a bad day
But i promise you now you won't ever be lonely
The sky turns dark and everything goes wrong
Run to me and i'll leave the light on
And i promise you now you won't ever be lonely
It's still gonna snow and it's still gonna rain
The wind's gonna blow on a cold winter day
And i promise you now you won't ever be lonely
You're safe from the world wrapped in my arms
And i'll never let go
Baby, here's where it starts
And i promise you now you won't ever be lonely
Here's a shoulder you can cry on
And a love you can rely on
For as long as i live
There will always be a place you belong
For as long as i live
There will always be a place you belong
Here beside me
heart and soul baby--you only
and i promise you now you won't ever be lonely
Andy Griggs "You Won't Ever Be Lonely"
The Dream
Don't turn me on if you can't turn me lose
I still got a lot of leavin left to do
Dierks Bentley "Lot of leavin left to do"
The fucking reality
My life consists of nothing but contradictions. I want a conservative life with liberal beliefs. I want to stay at home and raise my kids and depend on my husband but at the same time i want to believe that gay marriage is ok and things don't have to be done the same way they've been done for the past umpteen years just because they've done that way for so longI am a spiritual person with no spiritual outlet, christianity has been chosen for me, but i didn't pick it. I want to become an anthropolgist and study other cultures but i can't figure out my own. Meat will make me stop shaking but i can't stand to eat it. I love Adam but can't stand that he is two hours away. Maybe if he lived closer we'd well to tell the truth i don't know how it would change our relationship but i know it will, we would fight more or stop fighting and come to a solution. What if we stick it out through college and then find we can't mend our differences, then what? we say well that was fun thanks for getting me through school, have a nice life. I am not thinking straight. he's actually on the phone with me now, we're not talking, we call each other and then don't talk, we just sit there and don't say anything, and it's a comfort just hearing the static on the line, cause it feels like he's right next to me, until i hang up... So i worked my ass off this semester. The last paper i wrote was a field project for an athropology class, i'd been excited about it all semester. I had gotten the highest grade in the class on the last two tests and i felt i did good on this project. I got an 80.. Here's what the professor said, "Did you only look at those 4 artifacts??? Please take the next step-past art appreciation and into 'anthropology'-and consider the cultural context of these artifacts. What do they tell us about Mesoamerica cultures?" SO basically i failed to do the whole point of the project and apparently i suck at being an anthropologist. I found something i enjoy doing that makes me feel intellectual, and i love it, but maybe i'm no good at it. Maybe i should become a geologist, study the thing that pays the most and be done with it. Hey, i could move to Rolla, get married to adam before i graduate, hang out with a bunch of engineers twenty-four seven, live by myself in an apartment, make my parents pay for out-of-state fees for college. At the same time, i could throw all my half liberal four letter word beliefs out the fucking window, give up any hope of becoming half the person i want to be, sit demurely on a rock while adam fishes and turn into his mother. and i think that's just about enough for tonight, i'm going to get nasty if i don't make myself shut up soon~~e
And every once in awhile you might have a bad day
But i promise you now you won't ever be lonely
The sky turns dark and everything goes wrong
Run to me and i'll leave the light on
And i promise you now you won't ever be lonely
It's still gonna snow and it's still gonna rain
The wind's gonna blow on a cold winter day
And i promise you now you won't ever be lonely
You're safe from the world wrapped in my arms
And i'll never let go
Baby, here's where it starts
And i promise you now you won't ever be lonely
Here's a shoulder you can cry on
And a love you can rely on
For as long as i live
There will always be a place you belong
For as long as i live
There will always be a place you belong
Here beside me
heart and soul baby--you only
and i promise you now you won't ever be lonely
Andy Griggs "You Won't Ever Be Lonely"
The Dream
Don't turn me on if you can't turn me lose
I still got a lot of leavin left to do
Dierks Bentley "Lot of leavin left to do"
The fucking reality
My life consists of nothing but contradictions. I want a conservative life with liberal beliefs. I want to stay at home and raise my kids and depend on my husband but at the same time i want to believe that gay marriage is ok and things don't have to be done the same way they've been done for the past umpteen years just because they've done that way for so longI am a spiritual person with no spiritual outlet, christianity has been chosen for me, but i didn't pick it. I want to become an anthropolgist and study other cultures but i can't figure out my own. Meat will make me stop shaking but i can't stand to eat it. I love Adam but can't stand that he is two hours away. Maybe if he lived closer we'd well to tell the truth i don't know how it would change our relationship but i know it will, we would fight more or stop fighting and come to a solution. What if we stick it out through college and then find we can't mend our differences, then what? we say well that was fun thanks for getting me through school, have a nice life. I am not thinking straight. he's actually on the phone with me now, we're not talking, we call each other and then don't talk, we just sit there and don't say anything, and it's a comfort just hearing the static on the line, cause it feels like he's right next to me, until i hang up... So i worked my ass off this semester. The last paper i wrote was a field project for an athropology class, i'd been excited about it all semester. I had gotten the highest grade in the class on the last two tests and i felt i did good on this project. I got an 80.. Here's what the professor said, "Did you only look at those 4 artifacts??? Please take the next step-past art appreciation and into 'anthropology'-and consider the cultural context of these artifacts. What do they tell us about Mesoamerica cultures?" SO basically i failed to do the whole point of the project and apparently i suck at being an anthropologist. I found something i enjoy doing that makes me feel intellectual, and i love it, but maybe i'm no good at it. Maybe i should become a geologist, study the thing that pays the most and be done with it. Hey, i could move to Rolla, get married to adam before i graduate, hang out with a bunch of engineers twenty-four seven, live by myself in an apartment, make my parents pay for out-of-state fees for college. At the same time, i could throw all my half liberal four letter word beliefs out the fucking window, give up any hope of becoming half the person i want to be, sit demurely on a rock while adam fishes and turn into his mother. and i think that's just about enough for tonight, i'm going to get nasty if i don't make myself shut up soon~~e