Today
Well....took my damn pre-calc test today. Did my english work. Cleaned up (like i do almost every day.....but i am not complainig), shower was very nice and very needed.
Found out that I am my mother's best friend. Which i guess should not suprise me. I know more about her than anyone else in her life (since my fathers death). And she called today because her boss is being a fucking male pig again. "Oh no, Barbara is a female. We will give her the work of the deputy director, but not the pay or the gs level (government level system, this decides your pay). She just needed to hear my voice and my usual "everything happens for a reason". She started feeling better and looked at it more as a chance to go back to college and persue her true passion. She wont have the horrible hours she has had so she can begin working on her pyschology degree so she can become a therapist and help people, something that she has a true passion for. I think she will do wonderfully. She loves helping people.
As for my life. I am so happy about yesterday. I waited so long for it. At first i was in shock. Like i could not believe that it happened. And now that has worn off and been replaced my optism about the future. We have both changed a lot since we first met and we have gotten to know things about each other that very few people, if any, know. I have been able to know who he really is, and he has been able to see the real me that is not completely covered in misery or scars.
There are still some worries in my head, and they are not so much about us, they are more about other people. Wondering if i will ever be able to get past it and be alright around them. Right now i could be civil to one if i tried, but i think to the other i would be either cold or silent.
Only time will tell. All i have to do is keep myself calm and in control if i am to be around them any time soon.
Found out that I am my mother's best friend. Which i guess should not suprise me. I know more about her than anyone else in her life (since my fathers death). And she called today because her boss is being a fucking male pig again. "Oh no, Barbara is a female. We will give her the work of the deputy director, but not the pay or the gs level (government level system, this decides your pay). She just needed to hear my voice and my usual "everything happens for a reason". She started feeling better and looked at it more as a chance to go back to college and persue her true passion. She wont have the horrible hours she has had so she can begin working on her pyschology degree so she can become a therapist and help people, something that she has a true passion for. I think she will do wonderfully. She loves helping people.
As for my life. I am so happy about yesterday. I waited so long for it. At first i was in shock. Like i could not believe that it happened. And now that has worn off and been replaced my optism about the future. We have both changed a lot since we first met and we have gotten to know things about each other that very few people, if any, know. I have been able to know who he really is, and he has been able to see the real me that is not completely covered in misery or scars.
There are still some worries in my head, and they are not so much about us, they are more about other people. Wondering if i will ever be able to get past it and be alright around them. Right now i could be civil to one if i tried, but i think to the other i would be either cold or silent.
Only time will tell. All i have to do is keep myself calm and in control if i am to be around them any time soon.