loser
This past Sunday was the Anniversary of my best friend Marcel's passing. And now I find myself sitting here looking back through my calender and the events of this past year since we lost Marcel ( I mean; we didn't lose him ....he died.) Anyway..........................This is the recount of things that have happened since Marcel's passing on July 15,2006. There were a few semi calm quiet months. We had a party to celebrate the New year since we were practically broke around christmas (So ...it sucked!) Then in February................ I lost my daily dose of Rayne's smiling face :) because she decided to move back up to Maryland to be with her so called friends.....she left Feb. 22 (My birthday...I turned 35) On Feb. 28 ; I lost my paternal grandfather "Bumpy" John Bigelow. He was the grandfather I had known the longest.....I loved him dearly! I had a couple more semi calm moths in which my youngest son Anthony got his learners permit......I did say they were semi calm months (LOL) Everybody off the road!!!
Then.....On June 7 my friend (and singing partner)Abby moved back to Kentucky. June 25 my volvo was repossessed.
On June 27 max and I were officially kicked out of the band Myndkill that we were in; and then on July 1 the sheriff shows up at the door and tells me that the house we are currently renting is being foreclosed upon and him the home owner doesn't pay the mortgage up to date.....well.....anyway.......we're going to have to move in a couple of months most likely.
So....I'm sitting here looking at this and thinking...I've been such an unlucky fucking loser this past year!!!!!!! Damn It!! Things are starting to turn around though. Max got Rayne a ticket today and she's flying down to visit or maybe stay..I don't know. What I do know is that it sucks to lose! Unfortunately it has to happen to all of us at some point..........I know that.......I just wish it would STOP happening to me. ( at least for a while) I also know that it takes a positive attitude for change to occur.......I'm just such a loser I have to keep telling myself that. I know good things will come........I just hope some (besides Rayne's visit) comes soon!