This is everything in my head at this moment
It might make nooo sense at all.
My urge to make massive amounts of cupcakes is stranger than ever today, so I am giving in...after almost three months. i'm going to cover every square inch of counterspace with cupcakes, Stepford wives style bitches. Mike got to pick what flavor this time, so its going to be Lemon poppyseed with cream cheese frosting. More about mike in a second....
I notice, that I usually have to make a ridiculous amount of cupcakes whenever I am going through something difficult. I just have to bake it out of my system. Sometimes I make muffins too...
This time, the cupcakes are because of my mother, and I cant take it anymore. Im putting everything that I feel towards the situation into the lemon poppyseed and baking it in a three hundred and seventy-five degree oven for 24-28 minutes.
She is just such a bad person.
The last time I spoke to her was in September, when me and V got our matching shoulder tattoos. I came in the house to show her, and her boyfriend, the ugle fucking ex tweaker ass bastard that he is, starts yelling at me because Bear pulled in the driveway when we picked up V. (dont know if I mentioned this, but he wasnt allowed on the property apparently...because a year ago he told my mom to fuck off...) He said that Bear wasnt welcome there and if I was too dumb to relay a simple fucking message and pay attenion to him that i wanst welcome there either. Anyways, I dont have to listen to him scream at me, its not his house, he doesnt live there, and I told my mom that. Then I asked her if it was just him saying that, cuz again, its not his property, or if it was her saying that. And she looked me in the eyes and said it was her saying it.
So I gave up. I havent been back to my mothers house since, and I havent communicated with her. Not for Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or New Years, and Im debating over her birthday in 12 days. I didnt tell her about my engagement.
After I moved out, I welcomed her into our home as a means of forgiveness, I had her over to see my beautiful Turkish rugs, and smoke a bowl, everything was fine.Then she pulls this shit?? Fuck it. I cant spend anymore of my life trying and failing to make her happy or be what she wants me to be. If Bear isnt even allowed in the driveway, shes not allowed in my home. I dont have to put up with that petty shit anymore.
Mike is a friend from work. I like him, hes funny and smells wonderful, but Bear thinks I'm cheating on him with Mike. This is not only hilarious, but entirely ridiculous. He's thought this for about two months now, and it makes hanging out with him seem like a chore. I want to go over to friends houses and smoke bowls and blunts and watch weird movies that I would probably otherwise never see, and bear doesnt want me to. not only doesnt want me to, but is making attempts at trying to stop me/controll where I go and with whom. I can understand trepidation and a little jealousy, seeing as how he just proposed to me, but FUCK, I need friends. And just cuz they are guy friends doesnt mean Im fucking them!!!! I hate it. My friends have always been dudes, Bear knows that, and now hes pulling this weird jealous shit, calling and texting constantly and then getting all mad when I dont answer right away....wtf?? Like god forbid I dont answer my phone when I go the the bathroom...and then I get a message ten seconds later thats all "why didnt you answer, you never answer me any more. Who are you with? Call me when you get this." I hate it.
If I was going to cheat on Bear, I would have done it long before now...and I wouldnt be with him and so on and so forth. Its like, maybe because he's thinking about cheating on me, and projecting that onto me.
And, He's been mentioning threesomes lately...It's like contradicting thoughts. Doesn't want me even hanging out with other guys that I work with and that have lives of their own, but wants another guy to stick it in my ass...
I'm.....kind of open to the idea. I dunno, while the thought is so exciting, I think in practice it would be...weird... I've never had a strange cock...let alone a strange cock in my ass. How would you even go about finding another person for a threesome?? Dont say the internet. And I think friends aren't an option...that could be odd afterwards...
My job is pretty awesome, and I might have a shot at manager. That would be really awesome.
I'm full time prep cook, monday through friday and head of salad bar/trainer and supervisor. I pretty much run everything that goes on at Sizzler. They lose their shit when Im not there, and everyone comes to me for everything. The fucking managers ask my permission to do shit...stuff that I should be asking them. It's like, once I took over in the back of the kitchen, I automatically took over everything else too. I kind of love it.
I dont love that I just had to train a lady for salad bar, that is a great grandma and doesnt really know anything about food. She is also sooo stressed out and spastic that it rubs off on everyone around her. As an empath, its really hard for me to not pick up her overwhelming anxiety all the time, and it's making me irritable. I dont like her attitude either, like after the first week she knows everything, and everyone else isnt up to par. Fuck, I'm getting angry now just thinking about her...ugh
Ok...thats enough for now I think. I feel better, and cupcakes aren't going to make themselves
My urge to make massive amounts of cupcakes is stranger than ever today, so I am giving in...after almost three months. i'm going to cover every square inch of counterspace with cupcakes, Stepford wives style bitches. Mike got to pick what flavor this time, so its going to be Lemon poppyseed with cream cheese frosting. More about mike in a second....
I notice, that I usually have to make a ridiculous amount of cupcakes whenever I am going through something difficult. I just have to bake it out of my system. Sometimes I make muffins too...
This time, the cupcakes are because of my mother, and I cant take it anymore. Im putting everything that I feel towards the situation into the lemon poppyseed and baking it in a three hundred and seventy-five degree oven for 24-28 minutes.
She is just such a bad person.
The last time I spoke to her was in September, when me and V got our matching shoulder tattoos. I came in the house to show her, and her boyfriend, the ugle fucking ex tweaker ass bastard that he is, starts yelling at me because Bear pulled in the driveway when we picked up V. (dont know if I mentioned this, but he wasnt allowed on the property apparently...because a year ago he told my mom to fuck off...) He said that Bear wasnt welcome there and if I was too dumb to relay a simple fucking message and pay attenion to him that i wanst welcome there either. Anyways, I dont have to listen to him scream at me, its not his house, he doesnt live there, and I told my mom that. Then I asked her if it was just him saying that, cuz again, its not his property, or if it was her saying that. And she looked me in the eyes and said it was her saying it.
So I gave up. I havent been back to my mothers house since, and I havent communicated with her. Not for Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or New Years, and Im debating over her birthday in 12 days. I didnt tell her about my engagement.
After I moved out, I welcomed her into our home as a means of forgiveness, I had her over to see my beautiful Turkish rugs, and smoke a bowl, everything was fine.Then she pulls this shit?? Fuck it. I cant spend anymore of my life trying and failing to make her happy or be what she wants me to be. If Bear isnt even allowed in the driveway, shes not allowed in my home. I dont have to put up with that petty shit anymore.
Mike is a friend from work. I like him, hes funny and smells wonderful, but Bear thinks I'm cheating on him with Mike. This is not only hilarious, but entirely ridiculous. He's thought this for about two months now, and it makes hanging out with him seem like a chore. I want to go over to friends houses and smoke bowls and blunts and watch weird movies that I would probably otherwise never see, and bear doesnt want me to. not only doesnt want me to, but is making attempts at trying to stop me/controll where I go and with whom. I can understand trepidation and a little jealousy, seeing as how he just proposed to me, but FUCK, I need friends. And just cuz they are guy friends doesnt mean Im fucking them!!!! I hate it. My friends have always been dudes, Bear knows that, and now hes pulling this weird jealous shit, calling and texting constantly and then getting all mad when I dont answer right away....wtf?? Like god forbid I dont answer my phone when I go the the bathroom...and then I get a message ten seconds later thats all "why didnt you answer, you never answer me any more. Who are you with? Call me when you get this." I hate it.
If I was going to cheat on Bear, I would have done it long before now...and I wouldnt be with him and so on and so forth. Its like, maybe because he's thinking about cheating on me, and projecting that onto me.
And, He's been mentioning threesomes lately...It's like contradicting thoughts. Doesn't want me even hanging out with other guys that I work with and that have lives of their own, but wants another guy to stick it in my ass...
I'm.....kind of open to the idea. I dunno, while the thought is so exciting, I think in practice it would be...weird... I've never had a strange cock...let alone a strange cock in my ass. How would you even go about finding another person for a threesome?? Dont say the internet. And I think friends aren't an option...that could be odd afterwards...
My job is pretty awesome, and I might have a shot at manager. That would be really awesome.
I'm full time prep cook, monday through friday and head of salad bar/trainer and supervisor. I pretty much run everything that goes on at Sizzler. They lose their shit when Im not there, and everyone comes to me for everything. The fucking managers ask my permission to do shit...stuff that I should be asking them. It's like, once I took over in the back of the kitchen, I automatically took over everything else too. I kind of love it.
I dont love that I just had to train a lady for salad bar, that is a great grandma and doesnt really know anything about food. She is also sooo stressed out and spastic that it rubs off on everyone around her. As an empath, its really hard for me to not pick up her overwhelming anxiety all the time, and it's making me irritable. I dont like her attitude either, like after the first week she knows everything, and everyone else isnt up to par. Fuck, I'm getting angry now just thinking about her...ugh
Ok...thats enough for now I think. I feel better, and cupcakes aren't going to make themselves