Sleep Deprived Brain Dump
It wouldn't be the start of a new semester if I didn't kick it off with my 4 a.m.(ish) panic attacks. The first one came Monday night, which was of course part of the fact that I was meeting classes Tuesday for the first time and failed to adequately prepare mentally for that. Usually I pick out an outfit, look through the syllabus, and generally get my mind ready to be in the game - but since I slacked off and dicked around on I-Tunes most of the night, my brain woke me up to remind me that I needed to do those things.
I managed to catch a few winks of in-and-out sleep a bit before needing to get to campus. Classes were good - they seem perky and motivated. We'll see how long that lasts. Then last night I figured I'd curl up on the couch and try to catch up on lost sleep, but a long conversation with partner kept me awake, and even after it was over my brain wouldn't shut off. Thus, watching mindless TV until about 4:30 in the morning. I tried to sleep after that, but my brain woke me up at 7:30, so now I'm exhausted and cranky.
I took the opportunity to get out of the house this morning and went to a local coffee shop to read an essay I'm reviewing for a journal. It's kind of an exciting piece because it is EXACTLY in my area of expertise. Usually when I'm reviewing things, they are related to my area, but not about topics I truly care about. So, I was really jazzed to get this piece. Unfortunately, it's no where near ready to be published -- and there is a little matter of some of the content seeming like it might have been plagiarized from work of mine. Not sure how to deal with that, as the writer does reference me once, but doesn't in many other places...and since this topic is something I have published on, it's a logical connection because of the specialization of the topic itself. I can't go into much more about it without outing myself on the blogosphere, so I'll just stop there. Needless to say, I have to think about how to craft a review that says "the piece isn't ready, but I really dig it and here's what you should do to fix it" without it coming off as "don't you know I already wrote this piece and published it? what are you adding to the conversation I already started."
In other news, very shocked about Heath Ledger - and very sad. It reminds me a lot of River Phoneix, though no real "details" have been released as of yet. Seriously. What a waste. He hadn't even hit 30 and he was brilliant. Of course there is always the James Dean phenomenon where going out early makes everything you did before all that much better as it was representative of what you might have done. Makes the upcoming Batman movie a must see -- you have to wonder if delving into such dark places for your work can psychologically move you off kilter a bit. I know I had trouble with that when acting.
On the medical front, my next procedure is Friday morning. I went to pick up the prep kit and just about lost it. It's another one similar to the colonoscopy prep kit, which wasn't fun the first time, and I have no excitement about going through it a second time. What's worse, if they don't find anything on this x-ray portion, then I'll have to do it AGAIN for the procedure they want to try after that. Perhaps the worst part is that I cannot eat anything, and it's a big teaching day for me. I'm hoping I don't pass out tomorrow.
I really, really don't want to work today. I want to crawl back into bed and cry, but I should probably fight that since today is my really long teaching day. Best case, I could lay down for an hour or so and see how that goes. I also have a pile of stuff to do at the office, but most of it is research related, and I'm not sure how well my research mojo is going to be flowing seeing as I'm only functioning right now because of the caffeine.
My horoscope doesn't bode well for teaching today: "The people who will be around you today are all quite adept at talking, but unfortunately none of them are good listeners. The burden will be on you to help everyone understand what needs to happen and how to get things done. Sure, you'll have to fight tooth and nail to get the attention you need from the group, but who is better at getting attention than you? The stars suggest you use humor to cut through the group's chaos and get everyone to be on the same page." *sigh* Seriously. Can I just check out?
I managed to catch a few winks of in-and-out sleep a bit before needing to get to campus. Classes were good - they seem perky and motivated. We'll see how long that lasts. Then last night I figured I'd curl up on the couch and try to catch up on lost sleep, but a long conversation with partner kept me awake, and even after it was over my brain wouldn't shut off. Thus, watching mindless TV until about 4:30 in the morning. I tried to sleep after that, but my brain woke me up at 7:30, so now I'm exhausted and cranky.
I took the opportunity to get out of the house this morning and went to a local coffee shop to read an essay I'm reviewing for a journal. It's kind of an exciting piece because it is EXACTLY in my area of expertise. Usually when I'm reviewing things, they are related to my area, but not about topics I truly care about. So, I was really jazzed to get this piece. Unfortunately, it's no where near ready to be published -- and there is a little matter of some of the content seeming like it might have been plagiarized from work of mine. Not sure how to deal with that, as the writer does reference me once, but doesn't in many other places...and since this topic is something I have published on, it's a logical connection because of the specialization of the topic itself. I can't go into much more about it without outing myself on the blogosphere, so I'll just stop there. Needless to say, I have to think about how to craft a review that says "the piece isn't ready, but I really dig it and here's what you should do to fix it" without it coming off as "don't you know I already wrote this piece and published it? what are you adding to the conversation I already started."
In other news, very shocked about Heath Ledger - and very sad. It reminds me a lot of River Phoneix, though no real "details" have been released as of yet. Seriously. What a waste. He hadn't even hit 30 and he was brilliant. Of course there is always the James Dean phenomenon where going out early makes everything you did before all that much better as it was representative of what you might have done. Makes the upcoming Batman movie a must see -- you have to wonder if delving into such dark places for your work can psychologically move you off kilter a bit. I know I had trouble with that when acting.
On the medical front, my next procedure is Friday morning. I went to pick up the prep kit and just about lost it. It's another one similar to the colonoscopy prep kit, which wasn't fun the first time, and I have no excitement about going through it a second time. What's worse, if they don't find anything on this x-ray portion, then I'll have to do it AGAIN for the procedure they want to try after that. Perhaps the worst part is that I cannot eat anything, and it's a big teaching day for me. I'm hoping I don't pass out tomorrow.
I really, really don't want to work today. I want to crawl back into bed and cry, but I should probably fight that since today is my really long teaching day. Best case, I could lay down for an hour or so and see how that goes. I also have a pile of stuff to do at the office, but most of it is research related, and I'm not sure how well my research mojo is going to be flowing seeing as I'm only functioning right now because of the caffeine.
My horoscope doesn't bode well for teaching today: "The people who will be around you today are all quite adept at talking, but unfortunately none of them are good listeners. The burden will be on you to help everyone understand what needs to happen and how to get things done. Sure, you'll have to fight tooth and nail to get the attention you need from the group, but who is better at getting attention than you? The stars suggest you use humor to cut through the group's chaos and get everyone to be on the same page." *sigh* Seriously. Can I just check out?