Like a Fine Wine (1/1)
Title: Like a Fine Wine (1/1)
Author: WibbleyWobbley
Pairing: Saul/Henry
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Henry's observations on his relationship with Saul
Spoilers: None
Word Count: ~2,400
Disclaimer: Not mine
Prompt: Walker Challenge #7 (Saul). 1) Mistrust. 2) “His socks compelled one's attention without losing one's respect.” - Saki 3) Wine Still Life by Alessandro Guerani
The first thing that Henry noticed about Saul was his socks. How could he miss them, really? He had been walking quickly through the coffee shop patio, making a mental list of everything he needed to do that day - buy an anniversary present for Tom and Michael, tune up the bike and so on - and then Henry simply stopped in his tracks. He had stared in surprised awe at the bright, colorful stripes. Then his gaze rose higher and higher, and Henry’s surprise and awe grew deeper and deeper as he admired the man in front of him. Not that Henry was objectifying him, of course. He seemed too respectable for that. (And Henry would definitely still respect him in the morning, given the chance.) Henry spared one more glance before moving on so he wouldn’t attract the other man’s attention. With that glance, he spotted the symphony ticket in the man's jacket pocket and quickly read the title of his book. A serpentine smile came to his face as he added go to the bookstore and the box office to his to-do list. He would need to speed-read that afternoon, if he was going to have a good conversation-starter tonight...
***
It didn’t take long for Henry to realize that Saul might have been raised Jewish, but his true religion was wine. Tasting was clearly something of a spiritual experience for him, and he had the rituals of pouring and swirling and sniffing and swishing down to a fine art. He gave impromptu sermons on the best grapes and the best time of year to pick them. Henry’s favorite part, though - his very, very favorite part - was the easy smile and rosy cheeks on Saul’s face when he abandoned the slow and measured appreciation of the vino and got down to the heavy drinking. When Saul finally let himself be convinced to climb onto the back of the bike, Henry drove him out to the wine country. It was just a day trip - Saul wasn’t ready for an overnighter, not yet - but the feel of Saul’s hands gripping his waist was enough for Henry.
***
One of the things Henry loved most about Saul (yes, he finally admitted it, to himself at least - loved) was his inexperience. At Henry’s age, you didn’t find too many men who hadn’t had, well, more than their fair share of interpersonal encounters. Henry enjoyed feeling like he was barely legal again and slowly convincing Alan Karlen to go all the way for the first time. It made Henry feel powerful and daring and damn sexy. And watching Saul feel things he hadn’t felt in 50 years (or ever) was an amazing adventure. All kidding aside, Henry was honored that Saul chose him to teach him and to help him explore. Henry had even managed to learn a few new tricks of his own as he coaxed Saul into trusting his body’s wants and needs, and into trusting Henry’s ability and desire to meet them.
***
One of the things Henry hated most about Saul (although he would never say it out loud) was his inexperience. Because, dammit, sometimes he just wanted someone to throw him down on the bed and ravish him without hesitation or embarrassment.
***
The day that Henry told Saul that he loved him was the same day Saul took him to meet Nora and the girls and Julia and Kevin and Scotty. He had never been to a baby shower before, and he hoped his present would be appropriate. Because he really wanted to make a good impression. In the end, though, he wasn’t the one who behaved…bizarrely. Saul had apologized profusely the entire drive home. Later that night, when they were undressing and climbing into bed, Saul was still apologizing for his family. Henry could still remember every word of his reply (after he shut up Saul with a deep kiss). He had said: “Sauly, it doesn’t matter. All families have their moments. They made you who you are, and I can look past a lot of fights and breakdowns when it comes to the people responsible for the man I love.” Saul had stared at him, shocked and pleased, for several seconds. Then he stopped apologizing and used his mouth for far more enjoyable activities.
***
The first time that Saul told Henry he loved him, they had met Kevin and Scotty for lunch at the restaurant. It was only a few days after the baby shower, and Kevin had apparently been pushing for a second meeting with Henry. Saul seemed nervous, and he finally explained that this was his first double date with another gay couple. Henry had laughed kindly and reminded Saul that this was just his nephew and nephew-in-law. If anyone were going to feel uncomfortable and left-out, it should be Henry. Saul had blushed and stammered that he wanted the man he loved to feel like a part of the family. Henry had smiled at him, and Saul had ducked his head in embarrassment. They almost didn’t make it to the lunch.
***
When Henry realized that Saul, in fact, could get angry and almost-scary, he was at a loss as to how to respond. It was a stupid argument, he knew. But Henry loved the carefree man he first met, and he was disappointed that Saul felt compelled to go back to work. The hold that Ojai seemed to have over all the Walkers, and Saul especially, made no sense to Henry. It had been nothing but a source of misery and strife for the last few years, and yet Saul willingly went back. The only explanation that Henry could think of - the only way he could comprehend Saul doing that man’s bidding, lying to his sister, wasting years of his life at that company - was that maybe Saul had been in love with him. Or maybe he just liked lying, maybe he had become used to it after all those years of hiding the truth about everything else. And in a moment of upset anger, Henry had accused Saul of his suspicions. If Saul had yelled back, if he had thrown things, even if he had broken down, then Henry might have been able to deal with it. That was how he knew to fight. He didn’t know how to fight with someone who just stared at him with flared nostrils and dangerously-flashing eyes. Saul had walked out without saying another word, and Henry was afraid he’d never see him again. So when Saul came back a few hours later, Henry didn’t say anything and neither did Saul. They just smiled apologetically at each other and kissed softly and left it alone.
***
On Saul’s 70th birthday, Henry got him drunk on cheap wine. Then he proved to him he was anything but a decrepit old man.
***
Two weeks after Saul’s 70th birthday, Henry threw his hands up in annoyance and stormed out of Saul’s house. He was getting tired of this same damn argument. No, Saul wasn’t too old for him. No, Henry didn’t want a younger man. He wanted Saul, and he didn’t care about any of that. He didn’t care that Saul had only been with one other man and so maybe he didn’t have the confidence he needed in order to believe he was a fantastic lover or even all that good of a boyfriend. He knew that Saul still had trouble remembering to make someone else a part of his life and his family. He wanted Saul to trust him, to realize he was capable of making his own decisions about who to be with.
***
No one had ever made Henry laugh like Saul could. The best were these totally dry, smart-ass comments, the type of jokes where you didn’t even realize they were jokes until a minute after the fact. Henry would stop talking and turn to stare at Saul. Saul would always look back at him innocently, the hint of a twinkle in his eye or a smile at the corner of his lip. Henry would invariably lose it then, struggling for breath as he tried to stop laughing. Henry’s favorite moments were the lazy mornings in bed, when they would hysterically clutch at each other as they tried to calm down. Henry couldn’t even always remember the joke later in the day, but he could remember the feel of Saul’s bare skin against his as he shook with laughter.
***
Sometime in the summer, the day after yet another fight about Saul’s long hours at Ojai, Henry held Saul as he broke down in his arms. It took almost a half-hour to find out Kevin had announced he and Scotty were looking into surrogacy. Henry had softly agreed that time and technology and society weren’t fair. He pointed out that, if Saul had actually formed a relationship with Milo or someone and they had managed to miraculously raise kids together, then Saul would not be with Henry now and wouldn’t that be the real tragedy of it all? And then he reminded Saul that he did have kids - five of them, in fact - and he had been a better father to them in many, many more ways than William Walker ever had been.
***
In the end, Henry couldn’t do it. He fought tears as he apologized to Saul and told him he just wasn’t strong enough to be second-best all the time, to be pushed aside for work and family time and again. And really, that wasn’t even the whole problem. But he couldn’t tell Saul that it was because he didn’t want to have a relationship behind-closed-doors. He wanted someone who felt comfortable holding his hand at the symphony, and who wanted to eat a candlelit dinner at a restaurant instead of at home. He had been with far too many men as they took off the gay training wheels and came out completely. And he thought he was done with all of that years ago. He wanted someone in the same spot as him, someone who would spend the rest of their lives with him as a couple, not bachelor friends who secretly had sex. But how could he tell Saul that, especially after all the times he said it didn’t bother him even as it slowly chipped away at his own happiness? He couldn’t, and so he made it about Ojai and Walkers. Saul had apologized, had sworn to be better and try harder. He promised to cut back his hours and to let the machine get the phone sometimes. But Henry had stayed firm, had reminded Saul that he loved his job and that he loved his family even more and that he deserved someone less selfish than Henry. Saul had stopped arguing then. He had just looked sadly at Henry and walked out for the last time.
***
Try as he could, Henry wasn’t able to forget Saul. It didn’t help that Kitty was in the news every other day as her campaign began. It certainly didn’t help that Phil, the first guy Tom and Michael set him up with, came over for dinner with a bottle of Walker Landing Red. Or that Greg, the second guy Tom and Michael set him up with, took him to the symphony. But it was little things, too. A peach. The sound of laughter drifting across the air when he took a quiet weekend stroll in the park. Finding one crazy-colored sock that had fallen between the washer and dryer. Henry missed Saul. And when Steve, the third guy Tom and Michael set him up with, stuck his tongue down Henry’s throat in the middle of a crowded sidewalk, Henry realized that kissing someone in public didn’t mean all that much compared to kissing someone he loved in private. But it was too late now, of course. It had been months. Saul had surely moved on, by now. Henry should have, too.
***
Henry actually made an effort with Pat, the fourth guy Tom and Michael set him up with. They went out; they stayed in. They had a lot in common and could talk for hours. Three weeks in, they slept together. The next weekend, they went on a bike trip along the coast. That following Thursday, Pat told Henry he was falling in love with him. Henry broke up with him. He went to the symphony by himself on Friday, and he half-listened to the music as he tried to figure out why things didn’t work, why he felt so dissatisfied with everything - not just Pat, but his whole life. And then during intermission, he spotted Saul. Saul smiled politely and nervously as Henry nodded at him from across the room. Just as Henry decided to walk over to him, the lights flashed and they were separated by a throng of people heading back to their seats. But Saul found him after the show and invited him for a drink. They ended up in a seedy little place five blocks down. Henry found himself laughing at Saul’s disgust over the swill they called wine. He laughed even more as Saul described his horrid experiment at online dating. He smiled as Saul talked about his family, updating him on Nora’s usual antics, Kitty’s health, Sarah’s Harlequin romance, Tommy’s visits from Seattle, Justin’s spur-of-the-moment marriage, and Kevin and Scotty’s slightly ditzy but now very pregnant surrogate. When they finally settled up their tab, Henry had reached for his wallet, and Saul had put one hand on his arm to stop him. He left his hand there perhaps slightly too long, and Henry swallowed, forgetting to breathe as he looked at it. They didn’t make any future plans as they slowly walked back to their cars. But Henry had noticed Saul made it very clear that he was single at the moment, and if Henry were entirely honest, he hinted as such himself. They stopped in the middle of the parking ramp when they realized they needed to part ways, and they stalled. As they shook hands, Henry clasped Saul’s warm palm in his tightly. And Saul leaned up, placing a quick kiss to Henry’s cheek. Henry smiled, and Saul smiled back, and Henry knew that he’d be calling Saul in a few days. If he could wait that long.
The End
Author: WibbleyWobbley
Pairing: Saul/Henry
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Henry's observations on his relationship with Saul
Spoilers: None
Word Count: ~2,400
Disclaimer: Not mine
Prompt: Walker Challenge #7 (Saul). 1) Mistrust. 2) “His socks compelled one's attention without losing one's respect.” - Saki 3) Wine Still Life by Alessandro Guerani
The first thing that Henry noticed about Saul was his socks. How could he miss them, really? He had been walking quickly through the coffee shop patio, making a mental list of everything he needed to do that day - buy an anniversary present for Tom and Michael, tune up the bike and so on - and then Henry simply stopped in his tracks. He had stared in surprised awe at the bright, colorful stripes. Then his gaze rose higher and higher, and Henry’s surprise and awe grew deeper and deeper as he admired the man in front of him. Not that Henry was objectifying him, of course. He seemed too respectable for that. (And Henry would definitely still respect him in the morning, given the chance.) Henry spared one more glance before moving on so he wouldn’t attract the other man’s attention. With that glance, he spotted the symphony ticket in the man's jacket pocket and quickly read the title of his book. A serpentine smile came to his face as he added go to the bookstore and the box office to his to-do list. He would need to speed-read that afternoon, if he was going to have a good conversation-starter tonight...
***
It didn’t take long for Henry to realize that Saul might have been raised Jewish, but his true religion was wine. Tasting was clearly something of a spiritual experience for him, and he had the rituals of pouring and swirling and sniffing and swishing down to a fine art. He gave impromptu sermons on the best grapes and the best time of year to pick them. Henry’s favorite part, though - his very, very favorite part - was the easy smile and rosy cheeks on Saul’s face when he abandoned the slow and measured appreciation of the vino and got down to the heavy drinking. When Saul finally let himself be convinced to climb onto the back of the bike, Henry drove him out to the wine country. It was just a day trip - Saul wasn’t ready for an overnighter, not yet - but the feel of Saul’s hands gripping his waist was enough for Henry.
***
One of the things Henry loved most about Saul (yes, he finally admitted it, to himself at least - loved) was his inexperience. At Henry’s age, you didn’t find too many men who hadn’t had, well, more than their fair share of interpersonal encounters. Henry enjoyed feeling like he was barely legal again and slowly convincing Alan Karlen to go all the way for the first time. It made Henry feel powerful and daring and damn sexy. And watching Saul feel things he hadn’t felt in 50 years (or ever) was an amazing adventure. All kidding aside, Henry was honored that Saul chose him to teach him and to help him explore. Henry had even managed to learn a few new tricks of his own as he coaxed Saul into trusting his body’s wants and needs, and into trusting Henry’s ability and desire to meet them.
***
One of the things Henry hated most about Saul (although he would never say it out loud) was his inexperience. Because, dammit, sometimes he just wanted someone to throw him down on the bed and ravish him without hesitation or embarrassment.
***
The day that Henry told Saul that he loved him was the same day Saul took him to meet Nora and the girls and Julia and Kevin and Scotty. He had never been to a baby shower before, and he hoped his present would be appropriate. Because he really wanted to make a good impression. In the end, though, he wasn’t the one who behaved…bizarrely. Saul had apologized profusely the entire drive home. Later that night, when they were undressing and climbing into bed, Saul was still apologizing for his family. Henry could still remember every word of his reply (after he shut up Saul with a deep kiss). He had said: “Sauly, it doesn’t matter. All families have their moments. They made you who you are, and I can look past a lot of fights and breakdowns when it comes to the people responsible for the man I love.” Saul had stared at him, shocked and pleased, for several seconds. Then he stopped apologizing and used his mouth for far more enjoyable activities.
***
The first time that Saul told Henry he loved him, they had met Kevin and Scotty for lunch at the restaurant. It was only a few days after the baby shower, and Kevin had apparently been pushing for a second meeting with Henry. Saul seemed nervous, and he finally explained that this was his first double date with another gay couple. Henry had laughed kindly and reminded Saul that this was just his nephew and nephew-in-law. If anyone were going to feel uncomfortable and left-out, it should be Henry. Saul had blushed and stammered that he wanted the man he loved to feel like a part of the family. Henry had smiled at him, and Saul had ducked his head in embarrassment. They almost didn’t make it to the lunch.
***
When Henry realized that Saul, in fact, could get angry and almost-scary, he was at a loss as to how to respond. It was a stupid argument, he knew. But Henry loved the carefree man he first met, and he was disappointed that Saul felt compelled to go back to work. The hold that Ojai seemed to have over all the Walkers, and Saul especially, made no sense to Henry. It had been nothing but a source of misery and strife for the last few years, and yet Saul willingly went back. The only explanation that Henry could think of - the only way he could comprehend Saul doing that man’s bidding, lying to his sister, wasting years of his life at that company - was that maybe Saul had been in love with him. Or maybe he just liked lying, maybe he had become used to it after all those years of hiding the truth about everything else. And in a moment of upset anger, Henry had accused Saul of his suspicions. If Saul had yelled back, if he had thrown things, even if he had broken down, then Henry might have been able to deal with it. That was how he knew to fight. He didn’t know how to fight with someone who just stared at him with flared nostrils and dangerously-flashing eyes. Saul had walked out without saying another word, and Henry was afraid he’d never see him again. So when Saul came back a few hours later, Henry didn’t say anything and neither did Saul. They just smiled apologetically at each other and kissed softly and left it alone.
***
On Saul’s 70th birthday, Henry got him drunk on cheap wine. Then he proved to him he was anything but a decrepit old man.
***
Two weeks after Saul’s 70th birthday, Henry threw his hands up in annoyance and stormed out of Saul’s house. He was getting tired of this same damn argument. No, Saul wasn’t too old for him. No, Henry didn’t want a younger man. He wanted Saul, and he didn’t care about any of that. He didn’t care that Saul had only been with one other man and so maybe he didn’t have the confidence he needed in order to believe he was a fantastic lover or even all that good of a boyfriend. He knew that Saul still had trouble remembering to make someone else a part of his life and his family. He wanted Saul to trust him, to realize he was capable of making his own decisions about who to be with.
***
No one had ever made Henry laugh like Saul could. The best were these totally dry, smart-ass comments, the type of jokes where you didn’t even realize they were jokes until a minute after the fact. Henry would stop talking and turn to stare at Saul. Saul would always look back at him innocently, the hint of a twinkle in his eye or a smile at the corner of his lip. Henry would invariably lose it then, struggling for breath as he tried to stop laughing. Henry’s favorite moments were the lazy mornings in bed, when they would hysterically clutch at each other as they tried to calm down. Henry couldn’t even always remember the joke later in the day, but he could remember the feel of Saul’s bare skin against his as he shook with laughter.
***
Sometime in the summer, the day after yet another fight about Saul’s long hours at Ojai, Henry held Saul as he broke down in his arms. It took almost a half-hour to find out Kevin had announced he and Scotty were looking into surrogacy. Henry had softly agreed that time and technology and society weren’t fair. He pointed out that, if Saul had actually formed a relationship with Milo or someone and they had managed to miraculously raise kids together, then Saul would not be with Henry now and wouldn’t that be the real tragedy of it all? And then he reminded Saul that he did have kids - five of them, in fact - and he had been a better father to them in many, many more ways than William Walker ever had been.
***
In the end, Henry couldn’t do it. He fought tears as he apologized to Saul and told him he just wasn’t strong enough to be second-best all the time, to be pushed aside for work and family time and again. And really, that wasn’t even the whole problem. But he couldn’t tell Saul that it was because he didn’t want to have a relationship behind-closed-doors. He wanted someone who felt comfortable holding his hand at the symphony, and who wanted to eat a candlelit dinner at a restaurant instead of at home. He had been with far too many men as they took off the gay training wheels and came out completely. And he thought he was done with all of that years ago. He wanted someone in the same spot as him, someone who would spend the rest of their lives with him as a couple, not bachelor friends who secretly had sex. But how could he tell Saul that, especially after all the times he said it didn’t bother him even as it slowly chipped away at his own happiness? He couldn’t, and so he made it about Ojai and Walkers. Saul had apologized, had sworn to be better and try harder. He promised to cut back his hours and to let the machine get the phone sometimes. But Henry had stayed firm, had reminded Saul that he loved his job and that he loved his family even more and that he deserved someone less selfish than Henry. Saul had stopped arguing then. He had just looked sadly at Henry and walked out for the last time.
***
Try as he could, Henry wasn’t able to forget Saul. It didn’t help that Kitty was in the news every other day as her campaign began. It certainly didn’t help that Phil, the first guy Tom and Michael set him up with, came over for dinner with a bottle of Walker Landing Red. Or that Greg, the second guy Tom and Michael set him up with, took him to the symphony. But it was little things, too. A peach. The sound of laughter drifting across the air when he took a quiet weekend stroll in the park. Finding one crazy-colored sock that had fallen between the washer and dryer. Henry missed Saul. And when Steve, the third guy Tom and Michael set him up with, stuck his tongue down Henry’s throat in the middle of a crowded sidewalk, Henry realized that kissing someone in public didn’t mean all that much compared to kissing someone he loved in private. But it was too late now, of course. It had been months. Saul had surely moved on, by now. Henry should have, too.
***
Henry actually made an effort with Pat, the fourth guy Tom and Michael set him up with. They went out; they stayed in. They had a lot in common and could talk for hours. Three weeks in, they slept together. The next weekend, they went on a bike trip along the coast. That following Thursday, Pat told Henry he was falling in love with him. Henry broke up with him. He went to the symphony by himself on Friday, and he half-listened to the music as he tried to figure out why things didn’t work, why he felt so dissatisfied with everything - not just Pat, but his whole life. And then during intermission, he spotted Saul. Saul smiled politely and nervously as Henry nodded at him from across the room. Just as Henry decided to walk over to him, the lights flashed and they were separated by a throng of people heading back to their seats. But Saul found him after the show and invited him for a drink. They ended up in a seedy little place five blocks down. Henry found himself laughing at Saul’s disgust over the swill they called wine. He laughed even more as Saul described his horrid experiment at online dating. He smiled as Saul talked about his family, updating him on Nora’s usual antics, Kitty’s health, Sarah’s Harlequin romance, Tommy’s visits from Seattle, Justin’s spur-of-the-moment marriage, and Kevin and Scotty’s slightly ditzy but now very pregnant surrogate. When they finally settled up their tab, Henry had reached for his wallet, and Saul had put one hand on his arm to stop him. He left his hand there perhaps slightly too long, and Henry swallowed, forgetting to breathe as he looked at it. They didn’t make any future plans as they slowly walked back to their cars. But Henry had noticed Saul made it very clear that he was single at the moment, and if Henry were entirely honest, he hinted as such himself. They stopped in the middle of the parking ramp when they realized they needed to part ways, and they stalled. As they shook hands, Henry clasped Saul’s warm palm in his tightly. And Saul leaned up, placing a quick kiss to Henry’s cheek. Henry smiled, and Saul smiled back, and Henry knew that he’d be calling Saul in a few days. If he could wait that long.
The End