Learning Curve (7/9)
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Scotty smiled at Julia as she opened the door. She exhaled a short sigh and leaned against the frame.
“Did they send you to talk me out of it?”
Scotty shook his head. “No. And even if they did, I wouldn’t do it.”
Julia nodded once, pushed off the door and led him into the house. There were already several boxes in the living room half full of items. Julia had taken pictures off the wall and tagged several pieces of furniture for the movers.
“So, Seattle, huh?”
“The school sounds amazing.”
“It rains a lot there, you know.”
“Yeah, but...rain makes my hair curl sexily.”
Scotty laughed. “Right there is reason enough to go.”
“Damn straight.”
Scotty smiled softly, and Julia looking back at him, shrugging slightly. They sat at the counter, and Scotty leaned forward, propping his elbows on the surface.
“I’m on your side, you know. Whatever you do, you have to be thinking of yourself and Elizabeth right now. If going to Seattle is what’s best for you, then that’s what you need to do.”
Julia’s face crumbled. “Thanks, Scotty. I don’t - I don’t know what’s best. This is the hardest decision I ever had to make.” She lifted a hand to her face, a short sob escaping. “How could he - ?”
Scotty stood, walking over to Julia as her voice gave out. He pulled her into a hug, holding her silently as she cried. After a few minutes, she began to calm, drying her cheeks and sniffling quietly.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“There’s nothing to apologize for...except for maybe that hideous pony.”
Julia turned around to look at the object in question, laughing through her tears. “There’s another one at Nora’s house, actually. Bought by your husband.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
Julia glanced at him for a second. She took a breath and then said cautiously, “Tell the truth. Are you supporting this because part of you is a little freaked out by Kevin’s sudden attachment?”
Scotty exhaled sharply through his nose. He didn’t answer for several beats, and then said, “Now’s not the time to talk about that.”
“Please, Scotty. I’m so tired of being protected. For just one conversation, can someone else be the one in distress? I’m...I’m good now.” Julia smiled as she added, “I’ve rescued myself.”
Scotty sighed. Finally, he said, “It’s nothing to do with Elizabeth, you’ve got to understand. I adore her. And I don’t begrudge Kevin a relationship with her. But yeah, it is kind of scary, if only because I...I can’t figure him out with this. I could always,” Scotty laughed shortly, shaking his head. “I could always read him like a comic book, two pages at a time. But I’m still not entirely sure what’s going on with him right now.”
“Well, what do you think it might be?”
Scotty shrugged. “It’s definitely pushing buttons with him. Actually being a father, and what that means for a gay man - not to mention, just what it means for him, specifically. Tommy. His dad. I was there when the idea of his helping out first came up, and I know he had a lot of reservations about it. He couldn’t have predicted this, but he did know that it could cause problems.”
Scotty stared down at his hands for a moment. Then he continued. “Kevin’s the go-to guy in a crisis, you know that. But he’s just as capable as the rest of them to be swept away by his emotions. And right now, with everything going on, he’s being swept away and all those crazy, conflicting feelings are being focused onto Elizabeth. I know it’s going to break his heart to lose her right now, and I can’t believe I’m even saying this but...”
“But what, Scotty?”
Scotty took a deep breath, unable to look at Julia. “He needs to lose her. His trying to keep you here might very well be just an extension of his reaction to losing Tommy. Maybe in a way, he’s just trying to get Tommy back. But regardless...if he really is starting to feel so desperately connected to her, then it’s just going to hurt him more in the long run. He’s her father, but he’s not her dad. He’s never going to be her dad. He’ll be her uncle, and he can be a great uncle. But he can’t be her dad. No matter how many debts he pays off or how many ponies he buys...he can’t make up for Tommy abandoning you two. And he can’t make up for all the crap his dad put him through. Maybe, I don’t know, probably we will have kids someday, and he can have that chance to do it right.”
Scotty shook his head, pausing. “But he has to put himself back into the right frame of mind with Elizabeth, and so I truly...I really, truly think he needs that distance and that time.” Scotty finally looked up at Julia, smiling ruefully. “Even if that means I lose you.”
“If you’re right, and that’s what he’s feeling,” Julia said slowly, “and you would know better than anyone else...well, I think it probably would be for the best.”
Scotty nodded, blinking a few times. “Don’t tell him I ...I don’t know if he’d ever forgive me.”
Julia bit her lip for a moment. “I’ve been going back and forth on this, and I think I should tell him that I’ll tell Elizabeth the truth. What do you think?”
Scotty stared at the table for a moment, thinking. Finally, he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I think you should. I always thought that contract was stupid, anyway.”
“Oh God, me too!”
“Like she wouldn’t have found out? In this family?”
“I know!”
Scotty sighed. “Anyway, it’ll be a while before it really becomes an issue, so hopefully some of this stuff will have been sorted out by then. I think it will actually help him to know that you are going to tell her. Being forced to keep it a secret and act like he had never even found out meant that he had to hide his feelings about it. He wasn’t allowed to talk about it with Tommy or anyone else. I know from experience Kevin likes to pretend everything’s fine even as he’s bottling it all up.”
Scotty grinned, laughing softly as he rubbed at his eye. “It’s my goal in life to make sure he deals with things instead. You know, talk out his issues, even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming into a conversation. Although usually a few moments of silence and staring at him works just fine.”
Julia laughed. “That’s so true. Before you came along, I’d see Kevin just keep everything to himself for as long as possible. Which sometimes wasn’t that long! Sarah once told me he was like that even as a kid. He was the one they all went to, and no one ever knew he had a problem until he’d finally break. Then it would all come out.”
Scotty smiled. “Sounds like Kevin.”
Julia grinned. “So, we’re settled? I go to Seattle, and when she’s old enough, I tell Lizzie the truth.”
Scotty nodded firmly. “Yes.”
“Good.”
“But you know when it comes time to actually say goodbye to you, I might change my mind. What would I do without my favorite Walker-in-Law?”
Julia smiled sadly. “We’ll jump off that bridge when we come to it.”
***
Scotty glanced over at Kevin as he finally climbed into the car. Scotty had waved goodbye to Julia one last time a few moments ago, right before she buckled Lizzie into her car seat and pulled out of the driveway. As expected, Kevin finally emerged sometime later - he probably had been talking with Nora - and he walked slowly to where they had parked.
Kevin closed the car door shut softly. He didn’t look over at Scotty, and he didn’t say anything. He merely stared ahead, shoulders drooped. Finally, he reached out and gripped the steering wheel, bending forward to rest his head on his hands. His shoulders shook as he started to sob quietly. Scotty’s heart broke even as he felt almost overwhelmed with guilt. He reached out, pulling Kevin into an embrace.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “I am so sorry.”
They stayed there for quite some time, Scotty holding Kevin tightly, trying to somehow comfort him. Kevin clutched tightly to Scotty’s shirt, grieving everything he had lost over the last few weeks. Finally, Kevin started to calm, taking deep shuddering breaths. Scotty kissed his temple.
“It’s going to be OK,” he said.
Kevin nodded.
“You want me to drive?”
Kevin nodded again, and Scotty said a quiet “OK.” He let go of Kevin and climbed out of the car. As he walked around, he could see Kevin lift himself over the console and slide into the passenger side. Scotty got back into the car and started it. As he drove out of the driveway, he reached over to Kevin’s hand, interlacing their fingers. Kevin, now staring out the window, held his hand tightly.
***
Marriage, Scotty knew, sometimes meant you had to be honest and confess painful things. Other times, you had to withhold something in order to protect the other person’s feelings. And for days after Julia left, he kept going back and forth about which he should do. He still felt guilty about telling Julia to take Elizabeth away from Kevin, but he didn’t want to hurt Kevin even more, just to make himself feel better. And Kevin was actually doing fairly well now. Scotty managed to make him smile and laugh the previous night, a sight that Scotty hadn’t seen in far too long. And, right now, all he knew was that he wanted to see it again.
“Kevin?” he asked carefully.
“Mmm?” Kevin replied, not looking up from the morning paper.
“Um, I talked to Tracy last night. She and Dan just got engaged. Celebratory drinks tonight. What do you say?”
Kevin made a small face. “I don’t know. I’m not really feeling very social.”
“For an hour? I think it might be fun.”
Kevin paused, sighing. “Yeah, all right.”
Later that night, things were actually going well. Kevin was on his third drink and definitely feeling better. Much better. So much better, in fact, that Scotty might be the one to cut the evening short. He reached under the table, placing his hand on top of Kevin’s to stop it from moving even further up his thigh. Kevin squeezed lightly instead, and Scotty laughed, looking over at him with an attempt at a glare.
Kevin pulled his hand out from under Scotty’s, bringing it back up to wrap his arm around Scotty’s shoulders. He leaned closer and nibbled his earlobe before whispering, “You look so unbelievable tonight. I just want to take you right here on this table in front of everyone.”
Scotty laughed, blushing as he looked down at the table.
“Let’s go home,” Kevin added quietly.
There was a flash and Scotty looked up in surprise. Tracy smiled as she lowered her camera. “That’s going to be a good picture,” she said.
“Be sure to email it to me. We’re, uh, we’re going to go home.”
“Uh-huh,” Tracy replied knowingly.
As Scotty stood from the table, he glanced over at Kevin. Kevin smirked back at him, and they hurried out to the car as quickly as possible.
***
Scotty was pretty sure they broke several laws driving home, and possibly an Olympic record or two as they ran up the stairs. Now Kevin had him backed up against the wall and was removing Scotty’s clothes faster than he could keep up. Scotty gasped, his open mouth just out of the reach of Kevin’s. Kevin breathed out a laugh in reply, darting forward to capture Scotty’s lips in a kiss. Kevin reached down and fondled Scotty through his pants; Scotty arched his back, angling his hips up in an attempt to create more friction.
“Oh God, Scotty,” Kevin groaned. He pressed up closer to Scotty, bending to kiss his neck.
Scotty opened his eyes, staring unseeing at the room in front of him, lost in pleasure. Almost lost, because as his eyes started to shut again, as he tilted his head to allow Kevin more access, it struck him that he couldn’t do this. He just couldn’t, not with the Lizzy thing hanging over him. He reached his arms up, grabbing Kevin’s biceps.
“Kevin,” he said.
“Mmm,” Kevin moaned in reply.
“Kevin,” Scotty repeated, more forcefully. “Kevin, wait.”
Kevin backed away slightly, looking at him with eyes full of lust. “What is it? Is something wrong?”
Scotty barely nodded. “I have to tell you something.”
Kevin grinned. “What? You don’t normally take home guys from a bar? You’re already married? What?”
“Kevin,” Scotty said seriously.
Kevin’s smile dropped slightly. He swallowed. “OK. What is it?”
Scotty took a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again, looking Kevin dead in the eye. “It’s Julia...I told her to go. To take Elizabeth away from you.”
Kevin said nothing; he simply stared back at Scotty.
“What?” he finally asked, with a slight edge to his voice.
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A/N: Yes, yes. I know there’s absolutely no "very little" canon evidence for any of this. But this is where the muse went and seeing as how there’s very little canon evidence for anything Scotty’s up to in some of these episodes, I figured why not? At least we finally get an instance of Scotty being (sort of) the bad guy and Kevin being (sort of) the victim! I also always felt like we needed something more to the story in between "Kevin's depressed about Tommy/Elizabeth" and "Kevin the Marriage Counselor." I, for one, had a little bit of characterization whiplash. :)
Scotty smiled at Julia as she opened the door. She exhaled a short sigh and leaned against the frame.
“Did they send you to talk me out of it?”
Scotty shook his head. “No. And even if they did, I wouldn’t do it.”
Julia nodded once, pushed off the door and led him into the house. There were already several boxes in the living room half full of items. Julia had taken pictures off the wall and tagged several pieces of furniture for the movers.
“So, Seattle, huh?”
“The school sounds amazing.”
“It rains a lot there, you know.”
“Yeah, but...rain makes my hair curl sexily.”
Scotty laughed. “Right there is reason enough to go.”
“Damn straight.”
Scotty smiled softly, and Julia looking back at him, shrugging slightly. They sat at the counter, and Scotty leaned forward, propping his elbows on the surface.
“I’m on your side, you know. Whatever you do, you have to be thinking of yourself and Elizabeth right now. If going to Seattle is what’s best for you, then that’s what you need to do.”
Julia’s face crumbled. “Thanks, Scotty. I don’t - I don’t know what’s best. This is the hardest decision I ever had to make.” She lifted a hand to her face, a short sob escaping. “How could he - ?”
Scotty stood, walking over to Julia as her voice gave out. He pulled her into a hug, holding her silently as she cried. After a few minutes, she began to calm, drying her cheeks and sniffling quietly.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“There’s nothing to apologize for...except for maybe that hideous pony.”
Julia turned around to look at the object in question, laughing through her tears. “There’s another one at Nora’s house, actually. Bought by your husband.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
Julia glanced at him for a second. She took a breath and then said cautiously, “Tell the truth. Are you supporting this because part of you is a little freaked out by Kevin’s sudden attachment?”
Scotty exhaled sharply through his nose. He didn’t answer for several beats, and then said, “Now’s not the time to talk about that.”
“Please, Scotty. I’m so tired of being protected. For just one conversation, can someone else be the one in distress? I’m...I’m good now.” Julia smiled as she added, “I’ve rescued myself.”
Scotty sighed. Finally, he said, “It’s nothing to do with Elizabeth, you’ve got to understand. I adore her. And I don’t begrudge Kevin a relationship with her. But yeah, it is kind of scary, if only because I...I can’t figure him out with this. I could always,” Scotty laughed shortly, shaking his head. “I could always read him like a comic book, two pages at a time. But I’m still not entirely sure what’s going on with him right now.”
“Well, what do you think it might be?”
Scotty shrugged. “It’s definitely pushing buttons with him. Actually being a father, and what that means for a gay man - not to mention, just what it means for him, specifically. Tommy. His dad. I was there when the idea of his helping out first came up, and I know he had a lot of reservations about it. He couldn’t have predicted this, but he did know that it could cause problems.”
Scotty stared down at his hands for a moment. Then he continued. “Kevin’s the go-to guy in a crisis, you know that. But he’s just as capable as the rest of them to be swept away by his emotions. And right now, with everything going on, he’s being swept away and all those crazy, conflicting feelings are being focused onto Elizabeth. I know it’s going to break his heart to lose her right now, and I can’t believe I’m even saying this but...”
“But what, Scotty?”
Scotty took a deep breath, unable to look at Julia. “He needs to lose her. His trying to keep you here might very well be just an extension of his reaction to losing Tommy. Maybe in a way, he’s just trying to get Tommy back. But regardless...if he really is starting to feel so desperately connected to her, then it’s just going to hurt him more in the long run. He’s her father, but he’s not her dad. He’s never going to be her dad. He’ll be her uncle, and he can be a great uncle. But he can’t be her dad. No matter how many debts he pays off or how many ponies he buys...he can’t make up for Tommy abandoning you two. And he can’t make up for all the crap his dad put him through. Maybe, I don’t know, probably we will have kids someday, and he can have that chance to do it right.”
Scotty shook his head, pausing. “But he has to put himself back into the right frame of mind with Elizabeth, and so I truly...I really, truly think he needs that distance and that time.” Scotty finally looked up at Julia, smiling ruefully. “Even if that means I lose you.”
“If you’re right, and that’s what he’s feeling,” Julia said slowly, “and you would know better than anyone else...well, I think it probably would be for the best.”
Scotty nodded, blinking a few times. “Don’t tell him I ...I don’t know if he’d ever forgive me.”
Julia bit her lip for a moment. “I’ve been going back and forth on this, and I think I should tell him that I’ll tell Elizabeth the truth. What do you think?”
Scotty stared at the table for a moment, thinking. Finally, he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I think you should. I always thought that contract was stupid, anyway.”
“Oh God, me too!”
“Like she wouldn’t have found out? In this family?”
“I know!”
Scotty sighed. “Anyway, it’ll be a while before it really becomes an issue, so hopefully some of this stuff will have been sorted out by then. I think it will actually help him to know that you are going to tell her. Being forced to keep it a secret and act like he had never even found out meant that he had to hide his feelings about it. He wasn’t allowed to talk about it with Tommy or anyone else. I know from experience Kevin likes to pretend everything’s fine even as he’s bottling it all up.”
Scotty grinned, laughing softly as he rubbed at his eye. “It’s my goal in life to make sure he deals with things instead. You know, talk out his issues, even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming into a conversation. Although usually a few moments of silence and staring at him works just fine.”
Julia laughed. “That’s so true. Before you came along, I’d see Kevin just keep everything to himself for as long as possible. Which sometimes wasn’t that long! Sarah once told me he was like that even as a kid. He was the one they all went to, and no one ever knew he had a problem until he’d finally break. Then it would all come out.”
Scotty smiled. “Sounds like Kevin.”
Julia grinned. “So, we’re settled? I go to Seattle, and when she’s old enough, I tell Lizzie the truth.”
Scotty nodded firmly. “Yes.”
“Good.”
“But you know when it comes time to actually say goodbye to you, I might change my mind. What would I do without my favorite Walker-in-Law?”
Julia smiled sadly. “We’ll jump off that bridge when we come to it.”
***
Scotty glanced over at Kevin as he finally climbed into the car. Scotty had waved goodbye to Julia one last time a few moments ago, right before she buckled Lizzie into her car seat and pulled out of the driveway. As expected, Kevin finally emerged sometime later - he probably had been talking with Nora - and he walked slowly to where they had parked.
Kevin closed the car door shut softly. He didn’t look over at Scotty, and he didn’t say anything. He merely stared ahead, shoulders drooped. Finally, he reached out and gripped the steering wheel, bending forward to rest his head on his hands. His shoulders shook as he started to sob quietly. Scotty’s heart broke even as he felt almost overwhelmed with guilt. He reached out, pulling Kevin into an embrace.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “I am so sorry.”
They stayed there for quite some time, Scotty holding Kevin tightly, trying to somehow comfort him. Kevin clutched tightly to Scotty’s shirt, grieving everything he had lost over the last few weeks. Finally, Kevin started to calm, taking deep shuddering breaths. Scotty kissed his temple.
“It’s going to be OK,” he said.
Kevin nodded.
“You want me to drive?”
Kevin nodded again, and Scotty said a quiet “OK.” He let go of Kevin and climbed out of the car. As he walked around, he could see Kevin lift himself over the console and slide into the passenger side. Scotty got back into the car and started it. As he drove out of the driveway, he reached over to Kevin’s hand, interlacing their fingers. Kevin, now staring out the window, held his hand tightly.
***
Marriage, Scotty knew, sometimes meant you had to be honest and confess painful things. Other times, you had to withhold something in order to protect the other person’s feelings. And for days after Julia left, he kept going back and forth about which he should do. He still felt guilty about telling Julia to take Elizabeth away from Kevin, but he didn’t want to hurt Kevin even more, just to make himself feel better. And Kevin was actually doing fairly well now. Scotty managed to make him smile and laugh the previous night, a sight that Scotty hadn’t seen in far too long. And, right now, all he knew was that he wanted to see it again.
“Kevin?” he asked carefully.
“Mmm?” Kevin replied, not looking up from the morning paper.
“Um, I talked to Tracy last night. She and Dan just got engaged. Celebratory drinks tonight. What do you say?”
Kevin made a small face. “I don’t know. I’m not really feeling very social.”
“For an hour? I think it might be fun.”
Kevin paused, sighing. “Yeah, all right.”
Later that night, things were actually going well. Kevin was on his third drink and definitely feeling better. Much better. So much better, in fact, that Scotty might be the one to cut the evening short. He reached under the table, placing his hand on top of Kevin’s to stop it from moving even further up his thigh. Kevin squeezed lightly instead, and Scotty laughed, looking over at him with an attempt at a glare.
Kevin pulled his hand out from under Scotty’s, bringing it back up to wrap his arm around Scotty’s shoulders. He leaned closer and nibbled his earlobe before whispering, “You look so unbelievable tonight. I just want to take you right here on this table in front of everyone.”
Scotty laughed, blushing as he looked down at the table.
“Let’s go home,” Kevin added quietly.
There was a flash and Scotty looked up in surprise. Tracy smiled as she lowered her camera. “That’s going to be a good picture,” she said.
“Be sure to email it to me. We’re, uh, we’re going to go home.”
“Uh-huh,” Tracy replied knowingly.
As Scotty stood from the table, he glanced over at Kevin. Kevin smirked back at him, and they hurried out to the car as quickly as possible.
***
Scotty was pretty sure they broke several laws driving home, and possibly an Olympic record or two as they ran up the stairs. Now Kevin had him backed up against the wall and was removing Scotty’s clothes faster than he could keep up. Scotty gasped, his open mouth just out of the reach of Kevin’s. Kevin breathed out a laugh in reply, darting forward to capture Scotty’s lips in a kiss. Kevin reached down and fondled Scotty through his pants; Scotty arched his back, angling his hips up in an attempt to create more friction.
“Oh God, Scotty,” Kevin groaned. He pressed up closer to Scotty, bending to kiss his neck.
Scotty opened his eyes, staring unseeing at the room in front of him, lost in pleasure. Almost lost, because as his eyes started to shut again, as he tilted his head to allow Kevin more access, it struck him that he couldn’t do this. He just couldn’t, not with the Lizzy thing hanging over him. He reached his arms up, grabbing Kevin’s biceps.
“Kevin,” he said.
“Mmm,” Kevin moaned in reply.
“Kevin,” Scotty repeated, more forcefully. “Kevin, wait.”
Kevin backed away slightly, looking at him with eyes full of lust. “What is it? Is something wrong?”
Scotty barely nodded. “I have to tell you something.”
Kevin grinned. “What? You don’t normally take home guys from a bar? You’re already married? What?”
“Kevin,” Scotty said seriously.
Kevin’s smile dropped slightly. He swallowed. “OK. What is it?”
Scotty took a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again, looking Kevin dead in the eye. “It’s Julia...I told her to go. To take Elizabeth away from you.”
Kevin said nothing; he simply stared back at Scotty.
“What?” he finally asked, with a slight edge to his voice.
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A/N: Yes, yes. I know there’s absolutely no "very little" canon evidence for any of this. But this is where the muse went and seeing as how there’s very little canon evidence for anything Scotty’s up to in some of these episodes, I figured why not? At least we finally get an instance of Scotty being (sort of) the bad guy and Kevin being (sort of) the victim! I also always felt like we needed something more to the story in between "Kevin's depressed about Tommy/Elizabeth" and "Kevin the Marriage Counselor." I, for one, had a little bit of characterization whiplash. :)