...
I was so stupid.
like really stupid.
It's been what.. almost two years since I've talked to him.
I thought he was mad at me, then I learned he though I was mad at him, and so I put off talking to him because I didn't know what I would say.
I blew things entirely out of porportions.
You would think..
that if you "love" (his word) a girl for six months(his time), and all of the sudden she stops talking to you, she ignores your calls, doesnt even say, hey,I'm not dead I just cant talk right now.. you'd think you'd be mad.
I thought he'd be mad. I thought he'd be yelling. I could hear his voice and his words, and damn..
damn damn damn.
... mad? Shit he doesnt get mad.
at least not at me apparently.
I texted him, then called him today.
and he was calm.
Oh so calm, and forgiving. he says it was "A fucked up thing to do to someone who loves you.", that he worried about me, but he could never be mad at me.
I had to yell for him. I was yelling at him, about yelling at me. I was saying what a bitch I was, I was saying how immature and selfish I was being. and all he said was "calm down".
And at the end of the conversation..
he merely asked if he could still call me baby, becuase its just natural.
He's going to UT next semester.
what the fuck happened to Florida, California, photography school and all that? When did he get a brain and start making straight A's, and decide to do something with his life, and start working out and being healthy and all that. Damn. Part of me.. part of me thinks things could work.
Now that hes back on track..
but most of me knows.. knows I shouldn't even try. becuase he's wrong for me and I know it. And I ended it for a reason. So I gave in to a small indulgence and allow him to still call me baby.
Did I ever love him? Yes.. I think think so. I told him I did.. so that I wouldnt completely crush myself.
He says hes not "in love" with me anymore.. but he still feels things for me. That's why hes not mad. because "its easy to fall in love with someone, but hard to fall out, especially when you loved them for six months"
This whole thing. Just really pisses me off.
He tells me I lost the innocence in my voice.
well no damn sherlock.
Anyway..
point is.
I talked to him
things are good.
we're friends.
Even though we never really dated.
he forgave me.
he's back on track with his life.
and things are good.
and..
he knows.
so tihngs are good.
and thats the point.
like really stupid.
It's been what.. almost two years since I've talked to him.
I thought he was mad at me, then I learned he though I was mad at him, and so I put off talking to him because I didn't know what I would say.
I blew things entirely out of porportions.
You would think..
that if you "love" (his word) a girl for six months(his time), and all of the sudden she stops talking to you, she ignores your calls, doesnt even say, hey,I'm not dead I just cant talk right now.. you'd think you'd be mad.
I thought he'd be mad. I thought he'd be yelling. I could hear his voice and his words, and damn..
damn damn damn.
... mad? Shit he doesnt get mad.
at least not at me apparently.
I texted him, then called him today.
and he was calm.
Oh so calm, and forgiving. he says it was "A fucked up thing to do to someone who loves you.", that he worried about me, but he could never be mad at me.
I had to yell for him. I was yelling at him, about yelling at me. I was saying what a bitch I was, I was saying how immature and selfish I was being. and all he said was "calm down".
And at the end of the conversation..
he merely asked if he could still call me baby, becuase its just natural.
He's going to UT next semester.
what the fuck happened to Florida, California, photography school and all that? When did he get a brain and start making straight A's, and decide to do something with his life, and start working out and being healthy and all that. Damn. Part of me.. part of me thinks things could work.
Now that hes back on track..
but most of me knows.. knows I shouldn't even try. becuase he's wrong for me and I know it. And I ended it for a reason. So I gave in to a small indulgence and allow him to still call me baby.
Did I ever love him? Yes.. I think think so. I told him I did.. so that I wouldnt completely crush myself.
He says hes not "in love" with me anymore.. but he still feels things for me. That's why hes not mad. because "its easy to fall in love with someone, but hard to fall out, especially when you loved them for six months"
This whole thing. Just really pisses me off.
He tells me I lost the innocence in my voice.
well no damn sherlock.
Anyway..
point is.
I talked to him
things are good.
we're friends.
Even though we never really dated.
he forgave me.
he's back on track with his life.
and things are good.
and..
he knows.
so tihngs are good.
and thats the point.